Author Topic: Its my birthday (Read 1086 times)

StCeciliasGirl · « **on:** October 25, 2013, 01:17:00 AM »

First one without my mom. All day yesterday (birthday EVE) I considered how Mom must have been laboring; then considered how much trouble she went through all these years to give me nice birthdays, nice birthday gifts, good food, a solid family, Tradition. One year, I remember we were financially tight and didn't expect much, but she surprised me. I learned later she had gotten a secret job, sewing I think, so she could provide a nice birthday for me (which I never knew until my aunt told me as an adult). And when I went off to college, early age and 5 states away, she sent nice packages on my birthday, as well. Birthdays were occasions, but I'm thinking, maybe they're more for my parents than for me, if that makes any sense.

I'm going to spend a snowy day at the graveyard with Mom. I will visit Daddy, as well, but it's a big day for him for another reason (I'm their firstborn child), and I know Daddy is grieving over Mom today more than thinking of my birthday — perfectly understandable, and of course I'm thinking the same way, too.

Hug Your Parents!
I see people 10, 20, even 40 years older than I am with their mothers still alive and active and happy, and I feel great happiness for them, but there's a hint of a "why me" pity party deep down. After all, my mom got to be with her mother for 60+ years; I didn't get even a good fraction of that much time with my mother. And I'm left with a grieving dad; and her grandchildren who may not remember her well. (Everyone else moved away except my aunt and her family.)

The kids want to celebrate my birthday. :dancing-banana:

Not me. I'll suck it up and try, but really, don't you think birthdays are more for parents and young children, than for adult children? I loved getting colored cards from the all the parish kids when I had infants, or a bottle of liqueur from my husband (I wasn't much into the Jєωelry, though), but Mom would always give me something necessary that she hadn't had but wanted, like nice boots, or a kitchen appliance. A homemade sewing kit once that I still have and treasure, because she made it. She made the pin cushion, anyway, and found lots of the supplies. People WANT my sew kit when they see it.

One cool thing about my birthday that Mom and my family got me to appreciate: I've always remembered my Baptism date as much, because I was Baptised on All Souls, and that's pretty special. Maybe that's why the first week of November graveyard visits are so important to me. I hope it doesn't change much this year because my mom's there now. I hope to do the votives and visiting the graves and getting into that whole All Saints'/Souls' frame of mind. Being Christened on All Souls seems like such a blessing, as if I'm sharing my true birthday with all the souls in Purgatory. Or something.

But first year without my Mom here physically, I don't see this going so well.

But THEN I think of the votives throughout the graveyard and feel great peace. It's weird.

Ah well, pray for me. I'm a day older, and a week away from my Baptismal date.

tl/dr: it's my first birthday without my mom. Pray for me.

Cantarella · « **Reply #1 on:** October 25, 2013, 01:19:52 AM »

Happy Birthday! St. Cecilia's Girl!

poche · « **Reply #2 on:** October 25, 2013, 01:32:17 AM »

Happy Birthday
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

shin · « **Reply #3 on:** October 25, 2013, 01:40:18 AM »

Happy Birthday and prayers! :smile:

Keep smiling!

LaramieHirsch · « **Reply #4 on:** October 25, 2013, 01:41:19 AM »

Happy Birthday!

:applause:

Nadir · « **Reply #5 on:** October 25, 2013, 04:07:23 AM »

for you, St Cecilias girl

for your Mum

Now break out the :alcohol: and celebrate :cheers:

:rahrah: Happy Birthday! :rahrah:

PS Great post - straight from the heart!

stgobnait · « **Reply #6 on:** October 25, 2013, 04:30:47 AM »

its a heavy cross for you today, but you can offer it, for the soul of your mother...

for your birthday.

Stubborn · « **Reply #7 on:** October 25, 2013, 05:09:56 AM »

Quote from: stgobnait

its a heavy cross for you today, but you can offer it, for the soul of your mother... for your birthday.

Yes, this.

Tiffany · « **Reply #8 on:** October 25, 2013, 06:51:51 AM »

Happy Birthday! :rahrah:

soulguard · « **Reply #9 on:** October 25, 2013, 09:25:41 AM »

Quote from: StCeciliasGirl

First one without my mom. All day yesterday (birthday EVE) I considered how Mom must have been laboring; then considered how much trouble she went through all these years to give me nice birthdays, nice birthday gifts, good food, a solid family, Tradition. One year, I remember we were financially tight and didn't expect much, but she surprised me. I learned later she had gotten a secret job, sewing I think, so she could provide a nice birthday for me (which I never knew until my aunt told me as an adult). And when I went off to college, early age and 5 states away, she sent nice packages on my birthday, as well. Birthdays were occasions, but I'm thinking, maybe they're more for my parents than for me, if that makes any sense.

I'm going to spend a snowy day at the graveyard with Mom. I will visit Daddy, as well, but it's a big day for him for another reason (I'm their firstborn child), and I know Daddy is grieving over Mom today more than thinking of my birthday — perfectly understandable, and of course I'm thinking the same way, too.

Hug Your Parents!
I see people 10, 20, even 40 years older than I am with their mothers still alive and active and happy, and I feel great happiness for them, but there's a hint of a "why me" pity party deep down. After all, my mom got to be with her mother for 60+ years; I didn't get even a good fraction of that much time with my mother. And I'm left with a grieving dad; and her grandchildren who may not remember her well. (Everyone else moved away except my aunt and her family.)

The kids want to celebrate my birthday. :dancing-banana:

Not me. I'll suck it up and try, but really, don't you think birthdays are more for parents and young children, than for adult children? I loved getting colored cards from the all the parish kids when I had infants, or a bottle of liqueur from my husband (I wasn't much into the Jєωelry, though), but Mom would always give me something necessary that she hadn't had but wanted, like nice boots, or a kitchen appliance. A homemade sewing kit once that I still have and treasure, because she made it. She made the pin cushion, anyway, and found lots of the supplies. People WANT my sew kit when they see it.

One cool thing about my birthday that Mom and my family got me to appreciate: I've always remembered my Baptism date as much, because I was Baptised on All Souls, and that's pretty special. Maybe that's why the first week of November graveyard visits are so important to me. I hope it doesn't change much this year because my mom's there now. I hope to do the votives and visiting the graves and getting into that whole All Saints'/Souls' frame of mind. Being Christened on All Souls seems like such a blessing, as if I'm sharing my true birthday with all the souls in Purgatory. Or something.

But first year without my Mom here physically, I don't see this going so well.

But THEN I think of the votives throughout the graveyard and feel great peace. It's weird.

Ah well, pray for me. I'm a day older, and a week away from my Baptismal date.

tl/dr: it's my first birthday without my mom. Pray for me.

Happy birthday! You seem down, I am worried about you but rest assured of my prayers. And don't forget if it gets too much that psychiatrists are always there for you when you need help. I think if you spoke to one it would do no harm.

StCeciliasGirl · « **Reply #10 on:** October 25, 2013, 10:21:15 AM »

Aww, thank you all. I really wasn't looking for the wishes but I appreciate them. Yes, even yours, Soulguard. I'll assume deep-down somewhere you meant them in the best way so I upvoted yours, too. :smile:

Offering up this cross for mom's soul is just a perfect idea! First birthday ever I woke up crying.

I'm also going to eat some birthday cake and have a hot toddy with her at her grave.

John Grace · « **Reply #11 on:** October 25, 2013, 10:34:12 AM »

I will certainly pray for you and Happy Birthday to you. Prayers also for the soul of your mother.

24th October is the anniversary of the death of my Grandfather. He is ten years dead now. He died suddenly and peacefully at his home. Whilst on the point of mothers. My own mother had literally arrived in Florida when she learned of the death of her father. She returned on the next available flight and the funeral was delayed for a day.