Author Topic: Is Not Sending a "Wedding" Gift, Okay? (Read 1575 times)

TKGS · « **Reply #5 on:** August 04, 2011, 07:05:57 AM »

I don't think the marriage should, in any way, be acknowledged. To do so would be to cause scandal. In similar situations, when I have sent Christmas cards I have addressed them to only one party. I ignore the fact that there is even a woman in the house.

Exilenomore · « **Reply #6 on:** August 04, 2011, 07:21:16 AM »

An adulterous union should indeed not be acknowledged by sending a gift to the parties involved.

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #7 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:30:00 AM »

Quote from: TKGS

To do so would be to cause scandal.

To whom? Although I know what you mean, I am not sure such people are capable of being scandalized, in the proper sense of the word, within such situations. For example, habitual fornicators and those who accept such behavior are not scandalized to learn that a couple is habitually fornicating. It affects them as much as learning that the high temperature is going to be 72 degrees -- no impact whatsoever.

FWIW, it seems more like confirming them in their errors.

I may be incorrect, but I see scandal as similar to tripping someone, whereas when I confirm someone in his error/s, it is like sitting down upon a man who is already fallen (or preventing him, in some manner, from getting up).

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #8 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:35:51 AM »

As for hints that pass for gifts, you could always send him a rosary or ten, a book or two by St. Louis de Montfort, and a thick pad for kneeling!

[For good measure, you could send him a book or two about hell, salvation, what have you.]

BTW, why not use your own position/influence to persuade your husband that real friendship requires us to do GOOD to our friends, not be overly diplomatic when they are about to make enormous mistakes that have everlasting ramifications...

TKGS · « **Reply #9 on:** August 04, 2011, 10:49:49 AM »

Quote from: gladius_veritatis

Quote from: TKGS
To do so would be to cause scandal.

To whom?

The scandal is in giving the impression to others that a Catholic may approve of the situation.

Approving another's sin is one form of giving scandal.

The secular/popular definition of the word should not be confused with the term as used by the Church. A priest caught with child pornography is a scandal (in the popular understanding) and few people will be fooled into thinking that the Church approves of this; but Benedict 16 holding an interfaith congress in Assisi gives scandal and fools many to their own perdition.