From the First Epistle of St. Paul to the Corinthians, chapter seven:
5 Defraud not one another, except, perhaps, by consent, for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer; and return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by indulgence, not by commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as myself: but every one hath his proper gift from God; one after this manner, and another after that.
It is clear from Holy Scripture that men and women are not to willfully abstain from marital relations for ANY reason, unless it be for an AGREED-UPON time period AND an AGREED-UPON purpose, which is prayer (or some other beneficial spiritual exercise). Even in those cases, the Apostle says PERHAPS that would be a good idea, but that ultimately, the charge to serve one another connubially is more important than the charge to 'be spiritual' IF the couple is
going to continue marital relations at all. The Apostle is concerned that Satan will get a foothold in the couple's life together by tempting their flesh if they are not both willing to uphold their commitment to each other without hesitation.
St. Paul goes on to say that he is merely INDULGING some people's insistence upon these times of enforced celibacy because he knows they are trying to live both as people of the world and as spiritual saints of God. He refers to people's continence, in terms of its own merit, as a 'proper gift from God', some which are stronger, and some which are weaker.
He then explains in the later verses the ONLY
good reason to abstain from relations, and that is to give them up totally, because they are ultimately USELESS to us in the pursuit of sanctity. St. Paul says that those who have marriage commitments are always wrapped up in how they can please their spouse (from the context, we are still talking about connubial pleasure, not the pleasure of keeping a home or working a job for money and support of a lifestyle). He insists, and rightly so, that the best way for those who have entered into marriage to live is as though they did NOT have that responsibility; in other words, for both spouses to leave off those relations altogether.
In short, if one is going to have marital relations at all, then one should have them freely and NOT contrive reasons not to, whatsoever. That means there is no excuse for either spouse to be reluctant in their duties in that regard.
If, however, both spouses are committed to sanctity and are BOTH willing to give up relations in order that their whole bodies and total affections might please God, then they are strongly encouraged by St. Paul to abandon those relations and thus not only free them to pursue greater depths of devotion but also to obliterate any opportunity that the Devil would have to destroy their lives of grace by means of temptations. Temptation of a weak spouse who feels 'cheated' out of conjugal benefits is one of the most common and most devastating occasions of sin, and the Apostle here is giving wonderful advice to those who would avoid it.
St. Paul, Apostle and martyr, pray for us.
St. Gemma Galgani, holy virgin, pray for us.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.