Author Topic: Interests of spouses (Read 906 times)

Kephapaulos · « **on:** November 26, 2013, 12:26:29 AM »

I know that the Catholic faith is uncompromisingly essential in a Catholic marriage. My question is though that aside from the Catholic faith, should spouses have similar interests and hobbies to one another? I think the modern world puts a big emphasis on this in relation to marriage, and I may have an unnecessary connection to this line of thinking if it is then erroneous. Thank you.

Mabel · « **Reply #1 on:** November 26, 2013, 12:43:53 AM »

How do these people even have time for hobbies?

I think it can be great if their interests converge in at least a few areas, but there is nothing harmful about having different taste in hobbies. I would think it more important that the hobbies not draw one away from family life or duties. Kept in check they can provide relaxation and maybe in certain marriages some time apart is beneficial, especially if the temperaments differ a lot. A laid back husband might need a bit of a break from a high-strung wife.

I know many wives that would prefer a book or a "girl movie" to a history museum or lecture on airplanes. I also know married couples that have all the same interests. Both can be happy and holy.

Cantarella · « **Reply #2 on:** November 26, 2013, 12:51:16 AM »

The most important thing is to share the Catholic Faith. With that, it is a given that both spouses have realistic expectations for their marriage and are truly committed to their respective duties until death. Hobbies and interests may differ. It would be very nice if the spouses can share some of them, but I don't think that would be a requirement for having a peaceful and content marriage. To be content in a marriage is a grace of God.

TKGS · « **Reply #3 on:** November 26, 2013, 05:30:46 AM »

Interesting question. I note the old saying that "opposites attract", but there is also the proverb that says "birds of a feather flock together".

A man and woman need not have all the same interests to have a happy (and successful) marriage; but they should have, at least, some common interests.

Just remember that, when looking for a spouse, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" but "He who hesitates is lost." And always remember that "you should never judge a book by its cover" even though we all know that "clothes make the man."

Dolores · « **Reply #4 on:** November 26, 2013, 07:57:02 AM »

Quote from: Kephapaulos

I know that the Catholic faith is uncompromisingly essential in a Catholic marriage. My question is though that aside from the Catholic faith, should spouses have similar interests and hobbies to one another? I think the modern world puts a big emphasis on this in relation to marriage, and I may have an unnecessary connection to this line of thinking if it is then erroneous. Thank you.

Is it necessary for spouses to have similar interests? I would say no, it is not necessary. But it could certainly be beneficial for a pleasant home life. The Church doesn't really have teachings one way or the other on this issue; the only thing She says about marriage is that the man and the woman must be unmarried, and they must not have a canonical impediment to marriage. Compatibility of interests is something the spouses simply have to figure out for themselves.

momofmany · « **Reply #5 on:** November 26, 2013, 09:36:46 AM »

More than actually having common interests I believe it is important for spouses to be open to hearing/listening and appreciating their spouses hobby or interest.

I don't play guitar, my husband and two oldest sons do. I can at least pay attention and listen and know enough to appreciate what they do/are talking about.

My husband may not know an f-stop from a white balance but he can appreciate a good photo and congratulate me on a success in challenging lighting or subject.

Honestly, I'm glad that we don't have the exact same interests, viewpoints etc...it would get kind of boring.

If you are into Myers-Brigggs it is no surprise we have different interests, hobbies etc.... I am an ESFP and husband is INTJ.

Frances · « **Reply #6 on:** November 27, 2013, 03:21:19 PM »

They should have some common interests and some individual pursuits for a healthy balance. My family went camping. Once we settled in a campsite, Mom and my sister would prepare the food and Dad and I gathered and cut wood and prepared the fire.

Luker · « **Reply #7 on:** November 27, 2013, 06:29:56 PM »

Quote from: TKGS

Interesting question. I note the old saying that "opposites attract", but there is also the proverb that says "birds of a feather flock together".

A man and woman need not have all the same interests to have a happy (and successful) marriage; but they should have, at least, some common interests.

Just remember that, when looking for a spouse, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" but "He who hesitates is lost." And always remember that "you should never judge a book by its cover" even though we all know that "clothes make the man."

Now this the kind of solid internet advice I have come to expect and to love

Luke