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Author Topic: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships  (Read 7212 times)

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Offline Matthew

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Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
« on: July 13, 2018, 10:09:37 AM »
Look at this post on "Stack Exchange", a question & answer forum. Can you imagine the insanity? People have forgotten -- and they deny -- basic human nature.


How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
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I have a friend (a girl), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even sometimes suspects it is more than a platonic friendship (at least emotionally).
How can I convince her that the relationship is platonic without changing the nature of the friendship?
Here are the critical, key points:
  • Me and 'Katie' (fictional name for my friend, for future reference only) met at a wrestling class. This is an intimate sport with a lot of close, physical contact. We both love the sport and we train together 3 times per week (in a class situation) and then 1 on 1 alone once a week.
  • We meet up once a week for a non wrestling related day. We usually do another activity just for fun and then go out for food or just hang out somewhere for the day.
  • We have a holiday booked for 1 week. It is a training camp and we are sharing a room, but it is a twin room.
  • We speak on the phone (via a txting app) on average 2 - 3 times per day. I would say we exchange an average of 20 - 50 messages per day. We always send one to each other last thing at night.
  • When we have been apart, we have told each other how we miss each-other and have exchanged mutual feelings of loving each others company, loving being friends etc. She has also said if I am down or look sad that it makes her feel the same way.
  • Understandably, the above makes it look like there is something more than friendship potentially. But here is the thing. We are both married. She has said she is happily married and has 4 children with her husband. But she has also said that he is happy with our friendship and that she wants us to be friends forever. She said that since knowing me, she has been much happier in general.
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The friendship has dramatically improved my happiness levels. Having such a close friend is amazing, and I want to keep that, whilst keeping my partner happy and comfortable also.
I have spoken to my wife about the friend and she said she won't stop me seeing her but that she is very jealous of it and doesn't like it.[/size][/font][/font][/color]
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Online Pax Vobis

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Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2018, 10:16:57 AM »
Such a weird world we live in.  I'll bet a lot of $ that guy doesn't have children with his wife, or else how does he have so much time to do all of this?  Also, the fact that they don't have children means that their 'marriage' is really just a long-term 'structured dating' environment.  Science has shown that couples who have children stay together a lot longer.  Any married relationship which consciously avoids children will eventually fail.  Sounds like this guy is bored with his life and his wife. 
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Offline Cantarella

Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2018, 11:22:56 AM »
There is no such a thing as men and women friendship  :fryingpan:
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Offline Ladislaus

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Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2018, 11:41:13 AM »
So, wrestling with her and sharing a room with her on holiday ... that's OK now?  There's nothing "Platonic" about this even if there isn't actual copulation.  There's no way that this guy would feel the same way about some male friend of his, and that's the clue.  So he wants to keep the "friendship" despite the fact that he claims to want to keep his wife happy and "comfortable" ... even though it clearly makes her unhappy.  So he's amazed that his wife is "jealous" of this relationship?

No man or woman should have a particular friendship with a member of the opposite sex who is not at the same time their spouse.  Period.

He claims that he wants to make his wife happy, but is a liar because he doesn't care about hurting her.  If you don't want to hurt her, you don't do stuff like this.
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Offline Ladislaus

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Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2018, 11:43:20 AM »
Quote from: Cantarella on July 13, 2018, 11:22:56 AM
There is no such a thing as men and women friendship  :fryingpan:

Unless of course the man is a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ and the woman a lesbian.  Otherwise, any emotional intimacy quickly transitions into physical intimacy ... and, honestly, the emotional intimacy is worse that a mere physical one ... even if that were NOT to happen.  Odds are slim that this doesn't quickly turn sɛҳuąƖ in their shared hotel room.
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