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Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 10:09:37 AM

Title: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 10:09:37 AM
Look at this post on "Stack Exchange", a question & answer forum. Can you imagine the insanity? People have forgotten -- and they deny -- basic human nature.


How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/16441/how-to-convince-my-wife-that-my-best-friend-and-i-are-just-friends)

up vote34down votefavorite (https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/16441/how-to-convince-my-wife-that-my-best-friend-and-i-are-just-friends#)
14

I have a friend (a girl), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even sometimes suspects it is more than a platonic friendship (at least emotionally).
How can I convince her that the relationship is platonic without changing the nature of the friendship?
Here are the critical, key points:
[color][font][font][size]
The friendship has dramatically improved my happiness levels. Having such a close friend is amazing, and I want to keep that, whilst keeping my partner happy and comfortable also.
I have spoken to my wife about the friend and she said she won't stop me seeing her but that she is very jealous of it and doesn't like it.[/size][/font][/font][/color]
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Pax Vobis on July 13, 2018, 10:16:57 AM
Such a weird world we live in.  I'll bet a lot of $ that guy doesn't have children with his wife, or else how does he have so much time to do all of this?  Also, the fact that they don't have children means that their 'marriage' is really just a long-term 'structured dating' environment.  Science has shown that couples who have children stay together a lot longer.  Any married relationship which consciously avoids children will eventually fail.  Sounds like this guy is bored with his life and his wife. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 13, 2018, 11:22:56 AM
There is no such a thing as men and women friendship  :fryingpan:
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 11:41:13 AM
So, wrestling with her and sharing a room with her on holiday ... that's OK now?  There's nothing "Platonic" about this even if there isn't actual copulation.  There's no way that this guy would feel the same way about some male friend of his, and that's the clue.  So he wants to keep the "friendship" despite the fact that he claims to want to keep his wife happy and "comfortable" ... even though it clearly makes her unhappy.  So he's amazed that his wife is "jealous" of this relationship?

No man or woman should have a particular friendship with a member of the opposite sex who is not at the same time their spouse.  Period.

He claims that he wants to make his wife happy, but is a liar because he doesn't care about hurting her.  If you don't want to hurt her, you don't do stuff like this.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 11:43:20 AM
There is no such a thing as men and women friendship  :fryingpan:

Unless of course the man is a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ and the woman a lesbian.  Otherwise, any emotional intimacy quickly transitions into physical intimacy ... and, honestly, the emotional intimacy is worse that a mere physical one ... even if that were NOT to happen.  Odds are slim that this doesn't quickly turn sɛҳuąƖ in their shared hotel room.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 11:44:32 AM
Such a weird world we live in.  I'll bet a lot of $ that guy doesn't have children with his wife, or else how does he have so much time to do all of this?  Also, the fact that they don't have children means that their 'marriage' is really just a long-term 'structured dating' environment.  Science has shown that couples who have children stay together a lot longer.  Any married relationship which consciously avoids children will eventually fail.  Sounds like this guy is bored with his life and his wife.

But the woman is "happily married" with 4 children.  What's her excuse?
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 11:56:15 AM
The guy is also clueless.

Just like some women are clueless when they get too physical with a guy (hugs, etc.) and are surprised (or feign surprise) when the man is turned on by it. NEWSFLASH - guys are physical that way.

This man is similarly clueless, developing a deep relationship with this woman, getting emotionally attached, spending lots of time with her, paying attention to her -- for a female, that would attract her to him, the same way guys are attracted by physical actions and traits.

(As a side note, I really do believe some women are clueless about the effect their short shorts, low tops, tight pants, etc. have on the men around them. They assume that men are just like women only with different plumbing or something. NO, men and women are so different that, if it weren't for the ability to reproduce with each other, a compelling argument could be made that men and women are a different species.

Men and women are wired differently. If a man DID want to seduce a woman, he would have much more success getting an emotional affair going first, rather than walking around without his shirt on or something. Women are not the same as men.

That is why female porn ("romance novels") is so different than male porn (a bunch of videos and images). Yes, I know some women have so twisted their nature that they have become like virtual men. I pity them. But it doesn't change the facts of how women are created and designed by their Creator.


In the end, though, I think the situation (above) is more of a case of people DECEIVING THEMSELVES. This man obviously loves the company of this woman more than he enjoys the company of his wife -- he probably loves her more than his wife -- he's just pretending. Deceit is worst when practiced on oneself.

As my life philosophy goes (taught to me by Bishop Slupski for many years), "Be honest with yourself; be honest with God."
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 12:04:33 PM
I should also add:

I have to laugh when I read various non-Catholic forums, usually populated by a lot of anti-feminists ("manosphere" or "red pill" types) and they talk about getting women -- they approach it from a completely physical male-minded perspective, as if women are just like men, only prettier or with different plumbing.

Since they, a bunch of men, are attracted by the physical, they assume women are as well!

Hahaha!

Women are MUCH less concerned with looks than men are. Men, if you really want to attract a woman, skip the gym and the weights (which ALL of them universally recommend to each other), forget about making your face beautiful, and go learn how to talk and listen to women, write sonnets, songs, play the guitar or something. You'll get way more mileage out of that.

Women are not men. Men are not women. It's simple!

Anyone with a bit of life experience can tell you about all the attractive and/or skinny girls they know who went for guys that are a "3" or less on the 1-10 scale. Guys that are grossly overweight, balding, or both! Women have different priorities.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Incredulous on July 13, 2018, 12:07:37 PM

Uh... I think the wife is right... I wouldn't trust Katie.

(http://www.shopwithuslocal.com/NicheRaiders/MemeMaker/templates/Beer_Goggles.jpg)
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 12:14:11 PM
Man! That image!

Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 13, 2018, 12:14:30 PM
Quote
NO, men and women are so different that, if it weren't for the ability to reproduce with each other, a compelling argument could be made that men and women are a different species.

Best thing I read today.

Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 13, 2018, 12:20:09 PM
Quote
. Men, if you really want to attract a woman, skip the gym and the weights (which ALL of them universally recommend to each other), forget about making your face beautiful, and go learn how to talk and listen to women, write sonnets, songs, play the guitar or something.

You are so right.

I would add that men who are over-concerned with their looks are actually quite effeminate.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 13, 2018, 12:30:21 PM

I have to laugh when I read various non-Catholic forums, usually populated by a lot of anti-feminists ("manosphere" or "red pill" types) and they talk about getting women -- they approach it from a completely physical male-minded perspective, as if women are just like men, only prettier or with different plumbing.

Since they, a bunch of men, are attracted by the physical, they assume women are as well!

Hahaha!

This goes both ways.

Women thinking that men are attracted to the same things we do (leadership, resources, independence, strength, etc). That is why modern women brag about their degrees, successful careers, or "I make more money than you", etc...like men actually cared about those things; (instead of looks). It is laughable.

It is as if each sex projects itself into the other, being actually clueless of each other; instead of recognizing that we do seem different species; only to be united for the procreation of families in Marriage.  

I think this is, for the most part, a modern phenomenon, though. People before used to have a better perception of the differences between male and female nature.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 12:41:14 PM
This goes both ways.

Women thinking that men are attracted to the same things we do (leadership, resources, independence, strength, etc). That is why modern women brag about their degrees, successful careers, or "I make more money than you", etc...like men actually cared about those things; (instead of looks). It is laughable.

It is as if each sex projects itself into the other, being actually clueless of each other; instead of recognizing that we do seem different species; only to be united for the procreation of families in Marriage.  

I think this is, for the most part, a modern phenomenon, though. People before used to have a better perception of the differences between male and female nature.
Yup. Right on.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 01:07:41 PM
Women are MUCH less concerned with looks than men are.

For some reason, though, that's shifting in the younger generations.  I believe Croix that the newer generations primarily go after men for their looks.  I heard an EWTN radio show where the priest said that statistics indicate that pretty much half of all visitors to porn sites are women / girls.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Seraphina on July 13, 2018, 01:28:04 PM
This goes both ways.

Women thinking that men are attracted to the same things we do (leadership, resources, independence, strength, etc). That is why modern women brag about their degrees, successful careers, or "I make more money than you", etc...like men actually cared about those things; (instead of looks). It is laughable.

It is as if each sex projects itself into the other, being actually clueless of each other; instead of recognizing that we do seem different species; only to be united for the procreation of families in Marriage.  

I think this is, for the most part, a modern phenomenon, though. People before used to have a better perception of the differences between male and female nature.
Very true!  If I see a guy who is barechested, flexing his muscles, his body tanned and oiled, bragging about how many pounds he can benchpress, I dismiss him as an immature, arrogant jerk.  Likewise, if a man looks too feminine, wears skinny jeans, designer shoes, flaunts his designer labels, hairdo, and carries a shoulder bag, (Max Krah?), he's a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ.  The only temptation is to judge rashly.
While I'd prefer a large man, the outdoorsy logger-type, looks aren't everything.  I'd be looking for respectfulness, moral and spiritual leadership, strength of character.  If he's too fat, out of shape, a sloppy dresser, those things can be remedied.  
A friend of my family's once went to a job interview for a dean of discipline at a private boys' school.  When asked to describe himself, he replied, "short, fat, bald, and ugly."  He was hired the same day.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Pax Vobis on July 13, 2018, 01:32:42 PM
Quote
But the woman is "happily married" with 4 children.  What's her excuse?
Oh, i missed that fact.  She's probably the typical feminized woman who has a career, makes most the money in the marriage, married a pushover (but nice) guy, who takes care of the kids and will let her go wherever she wants after work.  She probably spends her social time hanging with friends or getting into new hobbies, because she "works a lot" and needs to "de stress" from the kids.  She's probably burned out on being a mother and is looking for some excitement in her "boring" life.

Or, she was honestly going to this class to stay fit, and even with 4 children, she still is attractive enough where some random guy is flirting with her in a metro-sɛҳuąƖ-were-just-friends way, and she let herself get sucked in, when she had no intention of doing so.  Affairs usually happen step-by-step, just like with other grave sins. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 01:35:12 PM
Very true!  If I see a guy who is barechested, flexing his muscles, his body tanned and oiled, bragging about how many pounds he can benchpress, I dismiss him as an immature, arrogant jerk. 

Very likely gαy too.  All of the male models with the most sculpted physiques are gαy.  In fact, most male models in general are gαy.  Straight men find that kind of vanity repugnant in other men.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ladislaus on July 13, 2018, 01:36:34 PM
Oh, i missed that fact.  She's probably the typical feminized woman who has a career, makes most the money in the marriage, married a pushover (but nice) guy, who takes care of the kids and will let her go wherever she wants after work.  She probably spends her social time hanging with friends or getting into new hobbies, because she "works a lot" and needs to "de stress" from the kids.  She's probably burned out on being a mother and is looking for some excitement in her "boring" life.

You probably hit that on the nose.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 13, 2018, 02:40:46 PM
Oh, i missed that fact.  She's probably the typical feminized woman who has a career, makes most the money in the marriage, married a pushover (but nice) guy, who takes care of the kids and will let her go wherever she wants after work.  She probably spends her social time hanging with friends or getting into new hobbies, because she "works a lot" and needs to "de stress" from the kids.  She's probably burned out on being a mother and is looking for some excitement in her "boring" life.

Or, she was honestly going to this class to stay fit, and even with 4 children, she still is attractive enough where some random guy is flirting with her in a metro-sɛҳuąƖ-were-just-friends way, and she let herself get sucked in, when she had no intention of doing so.  Affairs usually happen step-by-step, just like with other grave sins.

Right on, in both paragraphs. Most affairs begin "innocently" with no intention of going all the way, to put it delicately. It probably starts out like this more often than not.

Then the man (and/or the woman) decides he's not happy in his current marriage, decides he doesn't want to be "miserable" for the rest of his life or die without having a "fulfilled" life, so he divorces his wife to be with the second woman he's been having so much fun with.

It's an old story, played out dozens of times every day.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: LaramieHirsch on July 13, 2018, 04:18:50 PM
Men want sex.

Women want to submit to the alpha.  If she has no alpha, she'll collect beta and gamma males to orbit her.

That's how it is.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Vintagewife3 on July 13, 2018, 06:39:14 PM
The wife is handling it way better then I would.. I’ll just say that.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Incredulous on July 14, 2018, 12:12:52 PM
Men want sex.

Women want to submit to the alpha.  If she has no alpha, she'll collect beta and gamma males to orbit her.

That's how it is.

Your "relationship drivers" remind me of Bohr's electron orbits model.
(https://slideplayer.com/slide/6635116/23/images/10/Electron+Cloud+Electrons+orbit+the+nucleus+in+energy+levels.jpg)
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Pax Vobis on July 15, 2018, 09:49:22 PM

Quote
 I believe Croix that the newer generations primarily go after men for their looks.  
With the advent of no-fault divorce, women can be just as superficial as men can be and they can choose a 'spouse' who's fun 'right now', instead of worrying about long-term.  Then if it doesn't work out (and it usually doesn't), then you can get re-married.  
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Vintagewife3 on July 16, 2018, 10:31:22 AM
For some reason, though, that's shifting in the younger generations.  I believe Croix that the newer generations primarily go after men for their looks.  I heard an EWTN radio show where the priest said that statistics indicate that pretty much half of all visitors to porn sites are women / girls.
That’s definitely something I’ve noticed. When I used to go to a wives group most wives were ENCOURAGING me to watch porn with my husband, and that it would spice things up. I kept thinking no all I’d be slicing up is my place in hell for commuting a mortal sin, and helping my husband commit one too. 
That being sad I think with all the Betta males going around it makes it easier for women to fall into sin of checking out guys who look extremely masculine (Jason momoa, sam heughan, and Gabriel macht as examples for their masculine characters). Only because super alpha masculine men are hard to find. I could totally see men becoming conditioned to ignore the female immodesty these days because it’s soooo rampant. That being sad I don’t think it’s any easier on men. Both genders are being Put under severe attack from immodesty. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 16, 2018, 10:42:21 AM
Quote
When I used to go to a wives group most wives were ENCOURAGING me to watch porn with my husband, and that it would spice things up.

Foolish women all around.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 16, 2018, 10:51:15 AM
So what is it exactly that makes a male an "alpha"?

Much is said about it; but it seems that "alpha" is different for everyone. Furthermore, I notice that men who brag about being "alpha", actually behave the opposite, in reality. Their own lives do not reflect it. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 16, 2018, 11:32:44 AM
For example, I assume that all here agree that the Catholic version of "alpha" male is fully represented in the Person of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

However, if you ask an average heathen, in his ignorance and bad will, he will probably see Our Lord as an omega. (You can thank the pathetic feminization of Christianity for this misperception, though)
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: SusanneT on July 17, 2018, 06:33:13 PM
There is no such a thing as men and women friendship  :fryingpan:
I completely agree that men and women cannot and should not be friends except in marriage. 
For younger people any relationship is inevitably sɛҳuąƖly charged which is inherently sinful. 
‘Modern’ women have been perverted by feminism and often by contraceptive hormones into accepting feminised and weak men. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: jvk on July 17, 2018, 08:40:45 PM
And I have to ask...what kind of men/women DO co-ed wrestling?!  I've never heard of such a thing.  Well, until now.

The whole situation is just...strange.  A very excellent example of insanity in the modern world, indeed!
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: forlorn on July 19, 2018, 05:39:57 AM
And I have to ask...what kind of men/women DO co-ed wrestling?!  I've never heard of such a thing.  Well, until now.

The whole situation is just...strange.  A very excellent example of insanity in the modern world, indeed!
I know right, it's insane. It's basically tantamount to dry-humping. If my wife was wrestling with another man I'd take it nearly as seriously as adultery, since it's basically a hair's breadth away from it. And now he's going off on a holiday alone with her too!
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Seraphina on July 19, 2018, 01:01:14 PM
Co-ed wrestling?  Yuck.  I don't like to see any wrestling.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Ascetik on July 24, 2018, 10:28:18 AM
This guy needs his ass-kicked. Should probably be his wife tbh. :laugh1:
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Cantarella on July 24, 2018, 11:48:58 AM
An example of insanity in the modern world is that the new Spain Miss Universe 2018 is a man.

I would post a picture but it is too grotesque :barf:.

This transgenderism lunacy has been cooking for a long time, though. There is a real sodomite mafia controlling the world today, re-engineering society to their whims. They want to destroy real womanhood (and manhood). Think for example, the beauty standards of the High Fashion models. These women such as Victoria Secret models are carefully selected to not look like real women. Believe it or not, if you notice closely, they look like adolescent boys.

I always felt that there was something really wrong with these unnaturally skinny, tall, curveless, narrow hip, masculine - faced girls in the high fashion world. Well, it is because the industry is completely controlled by sodomites who do not like real women with pretty and feminine faces and hourglass shapes; but transgender men.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: 2Vermont on July 24, 2018, 12:02:20 PM
An example of insanity in the modern world is that the new Spain Miss Universe 2018 is a man.

I would post a picture but it is too grotesque :barf:.

This transgenderism lunacy has been cooking for a long time, though. There is a real sodomite mafia controlling the world today, re-engineering society to their whims. They want to destroy real womanhood (and manhood). Think for example, the beauty standards of the High Fashion models. These women such as Victoria Secret models are carefully selected to not look like real women. Believe it or not, if you notice closely, they look like adolescent boys.

I always felt that there was something really wrong with these unnaturally skinny, tall, curveless, narrow hip, masculine - faced girls in the high fashion world. Well, it is because the industry is completely controlled by sodomites who do not like real women with pretty and feminine faces and hourglass shapes; but transgender men.
For all we know, they could be boys.  

Your post made me wonder whether there would also be transgender bodybuilders.....only to google and find out that there already are!   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Matthew on July 24, 2018, 01:27:49 PM
only to google and find out that there already are!   :facepalm:
A lesson for us all: Be careful what you google! 
What is seen cannot be unseen.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: 2Vermont on July 24, 2018, 01:53:13 PM
A lesson for us all: Be careful what you google!
What is seen cannot be unseen.
Thankfully I ended up reading an article, so the images weren't too bad.  
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: TKGS on July 24, 2018, 04:55:23 PM
An example of insanity in the modern world is that the new Spain Miss Universe 2018 is a man.
I heard about this on the radio and figured the host had fallen victim of a parody news site.  But it turns out that it's true.  Two boys recently won several high school girls State track and Field championships in, I think, Connecticut.  In a few years, men are going to dominate most women's sports under the guise of "trans-genderism".
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Capt McQuigg on July 24, 2018, 05:25:57 PM
And I have to ask...what kind of men/women DO co-ed wrestling?!  I've never heard of such a thing.  Well, until now.

The whole situation is just...strange.  A very excellent example of insanity in the modern world, indeed!
I agree. 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Carissima on July 24, 2018, 06:20:34 PM
An example of insanity in the modern world is that the new Spain Miss Universe 2018 is a man.

Miss Universe pageants started allowing transgender contestants in 2012. At least officially anyways. No doubt there were others unknown well before that. 
Donald Trump had no issues with it of course when he owned the pageants USA, Universe and Teen.  
He was quoted after selling them in 2015....

"I have truly enjoyed owning the Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA pageants. When I purchased the pageants many years ago, they were in serious trouble. It has been a great honor making them so successful” … 


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess :fryingpan:
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Seraphina on July 24, 2018, 06:59:36 PM
I heard about this on the radio and figured the host had fallen victim of a parody news site.  But it turns out that it's true.  Two boys recently won several high school girls State track and Field championships in, I think, Connecticut.  In a few years, men are going to dominate most women's sports under the guise of "trans-genderism".
Yes, it is Connecticut.  Two of my friend's grandchildren graduated from that school in June.  She said she's glad they are the last grand kids because she won't have to attend any more public school graduation ceremonies. The behavior of many of the people, graduates and parents, was disgraceful and most of the females were dressed like prostitutes.  Some of the graduates proudly displayed their lbgtq buttons and regalia.  
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Viva Cristo Rey on August 02, 2018, 09:16:48 PM
Was it true or fake news that Pope John Paul was sending letters to married woman on regular basis? 
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: TKGS on August 03, 2018, 06:35:56 AM
Was it true or fake news that Pope John Paul was sending letters to married woman on regular basis?
It seems that this is true.  The Guardian reports it here:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/feb/15/pope-john-paul-ii-letters-reveal-32-year-relationship-with-woman

Catholic News Agency reports that the Vatican said that the friendship was not a secret:
https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/those-letters-between-john-paul-ii-and-a-woman-not-so-secret-actually-52016

Time's reporting is a little more salacious:
http://time.com/4224823/pope-john-paul-ii-woman-letters/

The issue came up during the beatification investigation.
Title: Re: Insanity in the modern world - male-female close friendships
Post by: Neil Obstat on August 04, 2018, 04:29:35 PM
Look at this post on "Stack Exchange", a question & answer forum. Can you imagine the insanity? People have forgotten -- and they deny -- basic human nature.

How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/16441/how-to-convince-my-wife-that-my-best-friend-and-i-are-just-friends)

I have a friend (a girl), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even sometimes suspects it is more than a platonic friendship (at least emotionally).

How can I convince her that the relationship is platonic without changing the nature of the friendship?

Here are the critical, key points:


  • - Me and 'Katie' (fictional name for my friend, for future reference only) met at a wrestling class. This is an intimate sport with a lot of close, physical contact. We both love the sport and we train together 3 times per week (in a class situation) and then 1 on 1 alone once a week.
  • - We meet up once a week for a non wrestling related day. We usually do another activity just for fun and then go out for food or just hang out somewhere for the day.
  • - We have a holiday booked for 1 week. It is a training camp and we are sharing a room, but it is a twin room.
  • - We speak on the phone (via a txting app) on average 2 - 3 times per day. I would say we exchange an average of 20 - 50 messages per day. We always send one to each other last thing at night.
  • - When we have been apart, we have told each other how we miss each-other and have exchanged mutual feelings of loving each others company, loving being friends etc. She has also said if I am down or look sad that it makes her feel the same way.
  • - Understandably, the above makes it look like there is something more than friendship potentially. But here is the thing. We are both married. She has said she is happily married and has 4 children with her husband. But she has also said that he is happy with our friendship and that she wants us to be friends forever. She said that since knowing me, she has been much happier in general.
.
The friendship has dramatically improved my happiness levels. Having such a close friend is amazing, and I want to keep that, whilst keeping my partner happy and comfortable also.

I have spoken to my wife about the friend and she said she won't stop me seeing her but that she is very jealous of it and doesn't like it.
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He should bring his wife along the next time, and the other woman can bring her husband along.
Then it can be a double date. And no funny business.
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If that arrangement isn't okay with one of the four parties then there is something amiss.