Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: solitary Man on December 03, 2023, 10:21:38 AM
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I need help
I feel alone without help
ok first I know that divorce is not good! but in my case it was necessary
I am a son and when my parents started to separate it was a relief for me because my father was emotionally abusive!
their marriage has a high chance of being null and void!
my mother suffered from my father and yet some people criticized her for asking for a divorce, and yet my father was never criticized!
I can't find support anywhere, when Catholics comment on this subject they only talk about how bad divorce is, etc., I've seen some people say to people in a similar situation to mine, this phrase "get over it, because it's in health and illness"
Sorry if I said the wrong thing!
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I need help
I feel alone without help
ok first I know that divorce is not good! but in my case it was necessary
I am a son and when my parents started to separate it was a relief for me because my father was emotionally abusive!
their marriage has a high chance of being null and void!
my mother suffered from my father and yet some people criticized her for asking for a divorce, and yet my father was never criticized!
I can't find support anywhere, when Catholics comment on this subject they only talk about how bad divorce is, etc., I've seen some people say to people in a similar situation to mine, this phrase "get over it, because it's in health and illness"
Sorry if I said the wrong thing!
It seems you are looking for some good support. Can you introduce yourself, so we are better equipped to help? In General Topic there is an introduction feed.
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I need help
I feel alone without help
ok first I know that divorce is not good! but in my case it was necessary
I am a son and when my parents started to separate it was a relief for me because my father was emotionally abusive!
their marriage has a high chance of being null and void!
my mother suffered from my father and yet some people criticized her for asking for a divorce, and yet my father was never criticized!
I can't find support anywhere, when Catholics comment on this subject they only talk about how bad divorce is, etc., I've seen some people say to people in a similar situation to mine, this phrase "get over it, because it's in health and illness"
Sorry if I said the wrong thing!
:pray::pray::pray:
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DIVORCE: Render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.
For a Catholic, divorce belongs strictly to the Government, full stop, period.
If they were validly married by a Catholic priest they are still married albeit separated (living apart) which the Church allows for a number of reasons.
If they were NOT validly married, they were living in sin and it's good they've separated and both are free to go their separate ways.
Regardless of what happened and how it happened it's not something that anyone (relatives/friends) should be criticizing her for as it's NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
In the last 15 years people have gotten the notion they have a right to express their opinion on every little thing they see or hear about. As Our Lord said, "what concern of it is yours?"
Try not to discuss it in person beyond the individuals involved.
You and your Mom can support each other.
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:pray:
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Why is there a good chance for your parents marriage to be invalid?
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DIVORCE: Render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.
For a Catholic, divorce belongs strictly to the Government, full stop, period.
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False. This is actually a condemned proposition in the Syllabus of Errors (https://www.papalencyclicals.net/pius09/p9syll.htm):
67. By the law of nature, the marriage tie is not indissoluble, and in many cases divorce properly so called may be decreed by the civil authority. [CONDEMNED] — Ibid.; Allocution “Acerbis"
Miseremini:
Regardless of what happened and how it happened it's not something that anyone (relatives/friends) should be criticizing her for as it's NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
In the last 15 years people have gotten the notion they have a right to express their opinion on every little thing they see or hear about. As Our Lord said, "what concern of it is yours?"
People have a right and duty to condemn public scandal. Our Lord never said what your fake quote says.
Try not to discuss it in person beyond the individuals involved.
You and your Mom can support each other.
Condoning the sin of another (and spousal abandonment is a sin) makes one guilty of that sin as well.
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Why is there a good chance for your parents marriage to be invalid?
What does this quote have to do with it, marriage annulment has existed since the Middle Ages
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I need help
I feel alone without help
....
their marriage has a high chance of being null and void!
Why is there a good chance for your parents marriage to be invalid?
What does this quote have to do with it, marriage annulment has existed since the Middle Ages
You ask for help but when QVD asks you a simple question you go into attack mode. You did the same to me, who, out of compassion, responded to you on another thread. You show no sign that you will accept help.
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What does this quote have to do with it, marriage annulment has existed since the Middle Ages
You seem anxious for a divorce and annulment. Is your mother already in a relationship with another man?
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What does this quote have to do with it, marriage annulment has existed since the Middle Ages
All I’m asking is: what is the basis for you to say that your parent’s marriage is invalid?
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You ask for help but when QVD asks you a simple question you go into attack mode. You did the same to me, who, out of compassion, responded to you on another thread. You show no sign that you will accept help.
sorry sorry! I swear it was by accident, I actually wanted to respond to another comment but I ended up making a mistake, it's just that I have a mild vision problem
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You seem anxious for a divorce and annulment. Is your mother already in a relationship with another man?
Sorry it was a mistake, it's hard to say! People think I'm exaggerating when I say I no longer want to live with someone who is mentally abusive! No, my mother didn't date anyone, but my father dated someone else, including one of my father's aunts who told my mother's boss to try to stun her
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All I’m asking is: what is the basis for you to say that your parent’s marriage is invalid?
one of the spouses feels pressured against their will and another reason is the other is drunk
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one of the spouses feels pressured against their will and another reason is the other is drunk
Sorry but those are not grounds for an annulment. Besides there does not need to be an annulment which would just entice one or both of your parents into committing adultery anyway.
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sorry sorry! I swear it was by accident, I actually wanted to respond to another comment but I ended up making a mistake, it's just that I have a mild vision problem
Apology accepted. Dear Solitary, you would do better to speak to a priest about the worries you have about your parents.
You also need to learn the precepts of the Catholic Faith.
You must pray the Rosary every day to your heavenly Mother and she will help you to sort out your confusion.
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one of the spouses feels pressured against their will and another reason is the other is drunk
Unless it can be *proven* that one party was “forced at gun” point to say the vows, the marriage is valid.
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Unless it can be *proven* that one party was “forced at gun” point to say the vows, the marriage is valid.
Well, it's presumed valid, which in the practical order means the same thing. Various psychological (or even physical) abuse perpetrated during marriage are not grounds to render a marriage null.
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Well, it's presumed valid, which in the practical order means the same thing. Various psychological (or even physical) abuse perpetrated during marriage are not grounds to render a marriage null.
I swear there was more that happened before the wedding
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Sorry but those are not grounds for an annulment. Besides there does not need to be an annulment which would just entice one or both of your parents into committing adultery anyway.
There's more that happened!
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Apology accepted. Dear Solitary, you would do better to speak to a priest about the worries you have about your parents.
You also need to learn the precepts of the Catholic Faith.
You must pray the Rosary every day to your heavenly Mother and she will help you to sort out your confusion.
This. The only thing I would add is to make sure you speak with a Traditional Catholic priest that doesn't jump to "annulment".
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There's more that happened!
So you want an annulment so your mother can remarry and you don't have to take care of her for the rest of your life?
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Dear SM,
Sorry you have to deal with this situation from your parents. I would try to not get in the middle of things. Try to be as supportive as you can be for your mother. Encourage her to seek out a valid priest to discuss her options. In addition, try to be the best person you can be (of course with aid from above). Work on yourself so as not to repeat the errors that you perceive in your family. I’m sure it’s difficult. You are in my prayers.
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If the marriage is valid, nothing that happens afterwards can make it invalid.
Novus Ordo tribunals are not competent to decide in this matter (and probably any other).
Separation is different from divorce. Separation simply means not living under the same roof, while divorce means that the former spouses are free to marry other people.
Divorce is impossible for a Catholic, since, even if you have a civil divorce, you will be married to your spouse until your death or the death of the other part. So, divorce, per se, is forbidden for Catholics.
Separation, on the other hand, is tolerated for a just reason. In normal times, the local bishop would decide on such matters. If the parts are separated, civil divorce can be tolerated for a just cause. Obviously, none of the parts would be free to marry other people, even if they had a civil divorce.
This is my understanding of the matter. I am not sure that you have understood this concepts clearly.
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Hello SM,
I am sorry that your family is going through some difficult times.
Prayers for everyone involved.
I agree with Nadir, you need to start praying the Rosary. Do you pray the Rosary regularly?
You really have no control over your parents. Yes being worried is hard, but you need to work on becoming the best Catholic you can become, so you can be a good example for others.
May God bless you and keep you.