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Author Topic: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himsel  (Read 17817 times)

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Offline Matthew

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I suppose in our day and age the dowry could come directly from the wife, based on her having worked and saved, but historically, the dowry came from THE WIFE'S PARENTS, as her share of the inheritance, so to speak.

Considering I have 6 girls, and I'm not rich, I hope my future sons-in-law are looking for a good old fashioned backyard type reception...hahaha

Seriously though -- no one needs to rent a DJ to play suggestive and worldly music. Nor do they need to pay for overpriced catering. And why would anyone step into a whole different economic bracket for a wedding reception? For example, a fancy dinner proper for rich people, when the family is middle class? Or a middle class catered meal when the family is poor?
That's just stupid. No one is comfortable, and money is wasted.

And coming back to what I said earlier -- if you know someone with land (like the bride's parents, for example), you can host the reception there and save a lot of money. Depending on the land, it could actually be quite beautiful, natural, special, etc.!

We could have a bonfire for example, light fireworks, do a hayride around the yard, etc.

That's the other thing: doing a more old-fashioned reception on private land accommodates children, which should be a consideration for most families. What percent of couples are barren. Can we agree that it's not the majority? (if we're talking about Traditional Catholics at least) How artificial is it to send your kids to a babysitter, so you can go celebrate with "parts of" the extended family because someone is getting married? Why not celebrate with the WHOLE family, if a celebration is called for?

I would actually prefer fried chicken (about $7) to most expensive dinners I've seen/had.

Offline Pax Vobis

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The most enjoyable weddings/graduation parties i've ever been to were thrown at someone's house, who had some land.  The party was able to be both intimate and spread out.  Plenty of room for games and activities.  It's always a blast!  

I agree, food is food.  You eat it, it's over with.  No one talks about a meal they had 10 years ago (unless they're an extreme foodie), but you remember the people you ate it with and the experience and the fun atmosphere.


Offline MaterDominici

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I suppose in our day and age the dowry could come directly from the wife, based on her having worked and saved, but historically, the dowry came from THE WIFE'S PARENTS, as her share of the inheritance, so to speak.  With the economy being what it is, and most folks barely scraping by for the last 60-70 years, I can understand why dowrys went away here in the US.  But, that's not to say that they aren't financially do-able.  I know a few families of wives, who told the engaged couple, "Ok, I'm contributing x to the wedding.  Do you want to spend it all on the party (which they were advised not to), or do you want to use some for the honeymoon and some to buy a house."  In this way, the money was sort of a dowry and not wasted on the wedding reception.  And the couple's eyes were opened as to how much a reception cost.

Basically, if the wife worked before marriage, she should have $ saved up.  This shouldn't replace the dowry, which is an obligation from the wife's parents (historically).
It's a nice ideal, but now you've made a difficult task (finding a good wife who agrees with your POV) into a nearly impossible task (finding a good wife who agrees with your POV ... who also has an extended family that agree with your POV and has the funds to live up to it). Those back yard weddings would max us out, no way we'd have any more than that whether we agreed with your ideals or not.
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When you're looking for a dowry from your in-laws, you'd also better be ready to convince them that you're a good pick for their daughter. I don't know many men interested in doing that.

Another question, what if neither the future wife, or wife’s family could afford such a thing at all? I came from an extremely poor background, and worked part time min-wage to afford necessities for me. 

Offline Matthew

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Also, to all those single guys who like to have their cake and eat it too, you don't get to have American-style independence ("I don't have to ask no man permission for his daughter's hand in marriage!") and old-world style dowrys at the same time.

When dowrys were customary, it was also required to ask a man's permission to court/marry his daughter. They go together. They are a package deal.

Some people just want all the good parts and none of the bad parts. That's called being selfish and irresponsible.

I'd like the free time of an unemployed man, the energy and health of a 20 year old man, the resources of a rich man, and the stress of a retired man. What would someone tell me? "Keep dreaming!"