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I can see why people are reacting harshly to Croix de fer, and he can come across rather harshly. That being said the accusations should stop against him. It just makes the whole thing childish. You all have to admit his views, and points have stirred quite a bit of thought provoking discussions. I’ve spent the better part of the last two days talking to my husband about his opinion, and what he thought of us. It’s opening doors for us.

Yes, and we're still driving that very practical vehicle today, even though we've been married for 13 years. Just think of all the money that saved us when we were starting out: a monthly car payment (principal & interest), plus we could downgrade to liability insurance rather than "full coverage" which the bank demands if they still own your vehicle.

And note that my wife chose a very practical vehicle, it's considered a small SUV -- a PT Cruiser, if you must know -- with a nice big backseat that fits 3 kids. We used that for our family vehicle for years.

I would like to repeat that it's important for single people to be PRACTICAL during their single years -- don't just blow and party away all your single person money. Think ahead, start a household, live on your own, save up, get a nice car paid off -- there are useful things you can do while looking for that suitable spouse.

And you should look for such practicality in your future spouse. It's a sign of maturity, and what you can expect from them once you're married. If they are careless with money before marriage, guess how they will be after marriage? People don't change much.

If you marry a girl (or guy) because they're cute, because they're fun -- don't complain when they are lousy at providing, or lousy at keeping the household running financially.

Think of all the women that gravitate to the "bad boy" who drives a motorcycle, rebels against authority, etc. Is that motorcycle enthusiast really going to be a better husband, spiritual leader of the family, father, and provider than the bookworm who excels only at white collar tasks? I seriously doubt it. It's almost a scientific fact that many women are attracted to scoundrels and jerks, at least on a base carnal level. That is to say, despite themselves. Just like many men are attracted to helpless, dumb airheads and women who have nothing going for them other than their looks -- again, despite themselves.

If both men AND women don't rise above these base attractions, and let their Catholic head do the thinking, rather than baser parts of the body -- the marriage will be a disaster.

I bet almost 100% of "bad marriages" were completely consensual -- no shotgun or coersion was involved. One or both of the couple was simply blind, didn't know what to look for -- and chose very poorly.

I suppose in our day and age the dowry could come directly from the wife, based on her having worked and saved, but historically, the dowry came from THE WIFE'S PARENTS, as her share of the inheritance, so to speak.  With the economy being what it is, and most folks barely scraping by for the last 60-70 years, I can understand why dowrys went away here in the US.  But, that's not to say that they aren't financially do-able.  I know a few families of wives, who told the engaged couple, "Ok, I'm contributing x to the wedding.  Do you want to spend it all on the party (which they were advised not to), or do you want to use some for the honeymoon and some to buy a house."  In this way, the money was sort of a dowry and not wasted on the wedding reception.  And the couple's eyes were opened as to how much a reception cost.

Basically, if the wife worked before marriage, she should have $ saved up.  This shouldn't replace the dowry, which is an obligation from the wife's parents (historically).