Author Topic: Human Desire and Gods Will (Read 3578 times)

Jimbo9889 · « **on:** June 10, 2012, 10:29:07 PM »

The Following Message below was sent to Father Barron's Word on Fire Ministry, however I desire to share it with you and ask of your opinion on the issue enclosed, I need help discerning and understanding better, it is an issue that has arisen and desire to be reconciled once and for all:

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As a child growing up I felt like as if God was brooding over me any time I sought to do anything, essentially as a child I felt like as if I was paralyzed by a fear of punishment, that anything I sought to do was going to elicit a sense of condemnation against me, psychologically speaking I had an underdeveloped ego if you will because I always dreaded being assertive [a mix between my own sheltered upbringing and feeling like as if that was a sign of rebellion against God]. Eventually as I got older, I kind of "gave up on God" because, in order for me to operate and live life I felt like as if I needed to come out under the brooding presence of God, so that way I might assert my will and develop self-confidence in life.

Even though having now Reverted Back To Catholicism [thanks in no small part to your ministry], I still feel like as if being assertive and having a sense of confidence, having a passion for something, or desiring something would mark me for some type of condemnation. I believe now that I must reconcile my past ignorance and image of God with what I have learned and experienced over the years. At this moment in my life, I have been told by people that "You have a good heart and are humble, but you present that to others as doubting in yourself and second guessing yourself."

Can you speak to this? By that I mean if you would be so kind Father as to speak The Truth in Love regarding Human Desire and God's Will in light of this problem I have explained above. So that way I can firmly say with good reason that I do not have to feel paralyzed by fear of condemnation in life every time I seek to pursue something. I have heard it said that St. Augustine said, "A Lawful Desire is a Lawful Request in Prayer To God." Perhaps you could elucidate on this too for me, as it relates to this issue.

Can Anyone Here Speak To This? I Publicly and Unashamedly wanted this Thread to be Public, in the event that anyone in the future who suffers this may have this conversation as a sort of reference.

Marcelino · « **Reply #1 on:** June 11, 2012, 12:02:03 AM »

:reading:

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #2 on:** June 11, 2012, 04:40:42 AM »

He is exactly describing me.
You feel as if God is holding you in his arms tightly.
Have you ever tried to stop a 3 year old child from jumping and running by holding him by force and pressing him to yourself? Have you ever noticed how he reacts by kicking you and shouting:"leave me, put me down." ? The child's feeling is exactly like your feelings toward God.

Jimbo9889 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 11, 2012, 08:07:02 AM »

@Spouse of Jesus: The description of a child you have given me makes me even more curious now. Does this description apply to my childhood understanding or does this description apply even now to this present day? If it applies to this present day then I have more questions for you:

So Are You saying that I am supposed to caught in this Limbo State of Second Guessing Myself?

That I am not to supposed to desire anything, have a passion for anything, have some type of confidence, or that I am not supposed to be assertive?

That I am supposed to be weak-willed, docile, and non-responsive toward life and the various situations I go through?

More specifically, for the analogy you have given me, are you trying to say that I must accept this Limbo State of Second Guessing Myself? I must accept the state of apathy toward life and passivity toward life? That I must accept being a weak-willed, docile, and non-responsive person toward life and the various desires that I may have and situations that I go through? Because, from your message I am receiving an implication, that if a parents holds a squirming 3 Year old it would be nice if the child stopped moving and was at peace, but that would imply a "Yes" to the questions I have asked in this reply.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #4 on:** June 11, 2012, 10:28:22 AM »

Oh! I explained myself very badly. Sorry.
I meant that I have the exactly same feeling toward God. Just the way you described. The child analogy was a way to better explain those feelings. For me at least it is life-long, not limited to childhood.

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. Eventually as I got older, I kind of "gave up on God" because, in order for me to operate and live life I felt like as if I needed to come out under the brooding presence of God, so that way I might assert my will and develop self-confidence in life.

You love to be assertive, but you (wrongly) feel it was sinful. So you felt that giving up on God would save you from such an state of mind. So as a one who has suffered this, I tell you that you have to ignore these feelings or the anxiety and scruples will kill your faith.
Our image of God is NOT right. He is not like a controlling parent brooding over us. No matter how strongly we feel so, No matter how much we feel like the child in that analogy, He is not like that.