Author Topic: How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other  (Read 8925 times)

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Offline Zeitun

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How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
« on: May 30, 2014, 06:32:19 AM »
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  • This horrible metrosexual and effeminate act of men hugging other men upon every meeting and hugging strangers has infected tradition.  We have a elderly man who is very nice but he gives hugs to my teenage sons and it's totally gay (the man is not gay).  I told them to not stand so close to the man when they see him and to offer their hand instead to see if we can curb this gross behavior.  It's extremely embarrassing to my sons and it's unmanly to say the least.  

    Anyone else suffering with this?

    Offline Brennus

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #1 on: May 30, 2014, 06:47:06 AM »
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  • You must not have spent much time around Italians.


    Offline Pete Vere

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #2 on: May 30, 2014, 07:02:42 AM »
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  • Quote from: Zeitun
    This horrible metrosexual and effeminate act of men hugging other men upon every meeting and hugging strangers has infected tradition.  We have a elderly man who is very nice but he gives hugs to my teenage sons and it's totally gay (the man is not gay).  I told them to not stand so close to the man when they see him and to offer their hand instead to see if we can curb this gross behavior.  It's extremely embarrassing to my sons and it's unmanly to say the least.  

    Anyone else suffering with this?


    Half my friends and family are Eastern Catholic or French. Not only do we hug, we kiss each other on the cheek. Among the Easterners we add "Glory to Our Lord Jesus Christ!"

    Offline Tiffany

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #3 on: May 30, 2014, 08:29:54 AM »
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  • Romans 16:16 Salute one another with an holy kiss. All the churches of Christ salute you.

    Offline ggreg

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #4 on: May 30, 2014, 10:56:15 AM »
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  • I am married to a Russian.  They are forever hugging each other.  And they kiss three times on one cheek then another and again back where they began.

    I don't mind it.  I try to suppress my inner Englishman.


    Offline MariaCatherine

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #5 on: May 30, 2014, 11:05:57 AM »
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  • I agree with all the replies so far, but I don't think they address the problem.  Isn't there a time for teaching children to let others know their personal boundaries?  Is it everyone's duty to accept every hug?  I think what you're doing is fine, Zeitun.
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    Offline Cantarella

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #6 on: May 30, 2014, 11:23:23 AM »
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  • Argentinians also kiss each other on the cheeks without having anything to do with their maleness. There are indeed cultural differences that must be acknowledged and respected.

    However, it if has become an annoying issue, there is always a way to communicate your wishes without insulting: just politely tell the man not to do it. Simple.
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    Offline LaramieHirsch

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #7 on: May 30, 2014, 11:24:16 AM »
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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other


    This is a problem?  Who's doing this besides gays?
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    Before some audiences not even the possession of the exactest knowledge will make it easy for what we say to produce conviction. For argument based on knowledge implies instruction, and there are people whom one cannot instruct.  - Aristotle


    Offline crossbro

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #8 on: May 30, 2014, 11:37:34 AM »
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  • Witnessed this same situation a couple of times.

    At one parish we had a homeless man who served as an usher. The head of the ministry at the time told me the priest had dismissed him because he was homeless and the man had left the parish. I brought this up with another friend of mine and got the real story. The ushers were also greaters, typically greeting people and shaking hands as people entered the Church. Well, this homeless man was hugging his kids when they came and they did not like it. So, this guy had politely and tactfully in private asked the homeless guy to please not hug his kids because they did not like it.

    The next week the guy hugged his kids again and my friend took the issue to the priest.

    I also had this with a brother-in-law. My sisters kids (not his kids btw) were embarrassed because my BIL was running around the Church hugging people and people were obviously put off by it but he was himself too stupid to realize it. I took him aside and told him he was embarrassing the kids and to knock it off. This because the kids had complained to me about it.

    Those are your sons and it is your family- get alone with this man and tell him to stop. If he does not stop take it to the next level.

    Offline Zeitun

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #9 on: May 30, 2014, 12:53:44 PM »
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  • Just to clarify:  we live in the United States, are not of Mediterranean ancestry, and this is NOT a practice in my local community or our parish.  I don't see others in our parish accepting hugs from this man but my sons have allowed it out of fear of offending the gentleman.

    I just happened to receive a copy of "Catholic Manual of Civility" in the mail late last night and upon thumbing through it, much to my relief, there is a section in the book on banal embraces between strangers.  So my question is answered.

    Thanks for everyone's input.  

    Offline Matthew

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #10 on: May 30, 2014, 01:19:14 PM »
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  • Quote from: crossbro
    Witnessed this same situation a couple of times.

    At one parish we had a homeless man who served as an usher. The head of the ministry at the time told me the priest had dismissed him because he was homeless and the man had left the parish. I brought this up with another friend of mine and got the real story. The ushers were also greaters, typically greeting people and shaking hands as people entered the Church. Well, this homeless man was hugging his kids when they came and they did not like it. So, this guy had politely and tactfully in private asked the homeless guy to please not hug his kids because they did not like it.

    The next week the guy hugged his kids again and my friend took the issue to the priest.

    I also had this with a brother-in-law. My sisters kids (not his kids btw) were embarrassed because my BIL was running around the Church hugging people and people were obviously put off by it but he was himself too stupid to realize it. I took him aside and told him he was embarrassing the kids and to knock it off. This because the kids had complained to me about it.

    Those are your sons and it is your family- get alone with this man and tell him to stop. If he does not stop take it to the next level.


    You left out a critical piece of information. Your experience was in the Novus Ordo.
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    Offline Zeitun

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #11 on: May 30, 2014, 01:33:42 PM »
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  • Quote from: Matthew
    You left out a critical piece of information. Your experience was in the Novus Ordo.


    I wonder if that has something to do with it--the man I'm referring to is somewhat ecumenical.

    Offline MaterDominici

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #12 on: May 30, 2014, 03:18:54 PM »
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  • Perhaps this is already what you're reading, but this is a good article on the subject.

    http://www.traditioninaction.org/Cultural/A032cpManualCivility18_Greeting.htm
    "If I could only make the faithful sing the Kyrie, the Gloria, the Credo, the Sanctus and the Agnus Dei ... that would be to me the finest triumph sacred music could have, for it is in really taking part in the liturgy that the faithful will preserve their devotion. I would take the Tantum Ergo

    Offline Zeitun

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #13 on: May 30, 2014, 05:06:24 PM »
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  • Thank you Mater.  That is exactly what I read.  

    Offline Mithrandylan

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    How to Discourage Men from Hugging Each Other
    « Reply #14 on: May 30, 2014, 05:24:32 PM »
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  • How exactly has this "infected tradition" when you're apparently the only person who experienced it in this fashion?

    Seems to be the definition of an anomaly.

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