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Author Topic: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers  (Read 1493 times)

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Offline TheJovialInquisitor

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How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
« on: May 05, 2018, 12:47:40 AM »
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  • I'm currently having trouble with this.  I live in America, and naturally, every workplace I have a job at is chock-full of people who are not only nonbelievers, but actively revel in promiscuity, drugs (mostly weed), petty theft, ect.  I know I'm supposed to behave cordially with them, but I feel like if I get too "chummy" with them it will not only further legitimize their life-styles in their eyes, but will also be an affront to justice to treat an unrepentant sinner as you would treat a penitent.  How are you to act, typically, in everyday interactions with these people?


    Offline poche

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #1 on: May 05, 2018, 02:20:50 AM »
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  • I try to keep in mind the sayings of Jesus, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."


    Offline Nadir

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #2 on: May 05, 2018, 05:22:05 AM »
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  • I'm currently having trouble with this.  I live in America, and naturally, every workplace I have a job at is chock-full of people who are not only nonbelievers, but actively revel in promiscuity, drugs (mostly weed), petty theft, ect.  I know I'm supposed to behave cordially with them, but I feel like if I get too "chummy" with them it will not only further legitimize their life-styles in their eyes, but will also be an affront to justice to treat an unrepentant sinner as you would treat a penitent.  How are you to act, typically, in everyday interactions with these people?
    Welcome! You sound quite young, and have probably not acquired the ability of walking the fine line between "behaving cordially" and "getting too "chummy" with them".

    The first step is to daily pray for these people. Then treat them with reserved politeness, remembering that many of them have never been given the same chance to learn virtue as you most probably have. Don't be concerned about making friends in such an environment and remember why you are in that environment: to earn a living by doing your work to the best of your ability.

    It is not your place to judge their behaviour, just pray and be a good example. Being polite is not to legitimise their behaviour. Your different behaviour will be noticed by them and may make them feel uncomfortable and may cause the to keep their distance or even resent or ridicule you, but don't be deterred by that. It may bear good fruit
    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.

    Offline Mithrandylan

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #3 on: May 05, 2018, 07:43:06 AM »
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  • Sounds like you work in a call center :)

    But Nadir's right, especially about setting an example. Don't laugh at their crimes, don't revel in their indecency. That doesn't mean you need to scowl at them. Those are just some basic, interpersonal tactics for avoiding giving an impression of approval. And to really do some good, lead by example as much as you can, and yes, pray for them.

    As someone who's worked in similar environments, I'd also add: get out! As soon as you're able, of course. 
    "Be kind; do not seek the malicious satisfaction of having discovered an additional enemy to the Church... And, above all, be scrupulously truthful. To all, friends and foes alike, give that serious attention which does not misrepresent any opinion, does not distort any statement, does not mutilate any quotation. We need not fear to serve the cause of Christ less efficiently by putting on His spirit". (Vermeersch, 1913).

    Offline songbird

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #4 on: May 05, 2018, 10:17:31 AM »
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  • Just do your job and stay away from conversations that can lead to more.  Bad company, they are.  Prays are strong for them. My husband got into conversing with people in the hospital.  Of all places you would think they would all be busy!  It brought him to mortal sin.  So, stay away from conversation, stick to job and go home.


    Offline TheJovialInquisitor

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #5 on: May 08, 2018, 01:43:27 AM »
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  • Sounds like you work in a call center :)

    But Nadir's right, especially about setting an example. Don't laugh at their crimes, don't revel in their indecency. That doesn't mean you need to scowl at them. Those are just some basic, interpersonal tactics for avoiding giving an impression of approval. And to really do some good, lead by example as much as you can, and yes, pray for them.

    As someone who's worked in similar environments, I'd also add: get out! As soon as you're able, of course.
    With my generation, it's hard to "get out", because they all act like this to some degree.  I have yet to meet a single person my age that doesn't openly revel in porn, or going to strip clubs, or "smoking that weed, dude!", ect.  Even many of the older guys do it too.

    Offline Last Tradhican

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #6 on: May 08, 2018, 08:14:25 AM »
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  • With my generation, it's hard to "get out", because they all act like this to some degree.  I have yet to meet a single person my age that doesn't openly revel in porn, or going to strip clubs, or "smoking that weed, dude!", ect.  Even many of the older guys do it too.
    It's nothing new, been the same since the 1960's. The sɛҳuąƖ promiscuity was worse than today in the  late sixties and 70's, nobody young needed to go to a strip clubs.

    Nadir's advice is perfect. The only thing I will add, is that when they talk about drugs and porno, you can make a joke of it, like dismissing it as idiotic. They will not understand the religious aspects, so speak to them from uncommon wisdom of the world, while making a laughing matter out of the whole affair: 

    Weed - "I do not have the time to confuse my mind and get knocked out by weed, I don't even waste my time watching television or playing video games or texting all day. I have studying to do and things to learn to make a good living. This is the time to get ahead, while I am young, all the older weed heads I see are all poor bums."

    Porn - "I do not understand why a young healthy man would want to watch porn, what's it good for? It just gets you frustrated. I'll use my time to improve myself and learn about what life is all about and how women behave, so I can have a good wife for life, rather than an illusion in strip clubs and video."

    sɛҳuąƖ promiscuity - "Any girl that is easy, is easy with everybody, so don't think that you are something special. Promiscuity means herpes for life or worse. No, I seek the girls that no one can approach."
    The Vatican II church - Assisting Souls to Hell Since 1962

    For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch as to deceive (if possible) even the elect. Mat 24:24

    Offline Mr G

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #7 on: May 08, 2018, 03:28:11 PM »
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  • With my generation, it's hard to "get out", because they all act like this to some degree.  I have yet to meet a single person my age that doesn't openly revel in porn, or going to strip clubs, or "smoking that weed, dude!", ect.  Even many of the older guys do it too.
     I notice that in certain industries and locations do have a determination on the level or degree of vulgarity. For example, you will hear more bad language working at the inner-city construction site than you would at the inner city dentist or insurance office. So maybe you can try to find an industry or location where the people are typically more civil and polite.
    Also, ask other Catholic men, where do they work and how is the work environment, if it is good, then ask if there are any job openings.
    And if all else fails, move to Saint Mary's Kansas and work at Onyx, at least the environment is very good, and you get good pay and health insurance.


    Offline poche

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #8 on: May 08, 2018, 11:03:52 PM »
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  • Just do your job and stay away from conversations that can lead to more.  Bad company, they are.  Prays are strong for them. My husband got into conversing with people in the hospital.  Of all places you would think they would all be busy!  It brought him to mortal sin.  So, stay away from conversation, stick to job and go home.
    What is your age?

    Offline TheJovialInquisitor

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #9 on: May 08, 2018, 11:30:06 PM »
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  • Me? I'm 22.

    Offline poche

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #10 on: May 09, 2018, 02:22:58 AM »
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  • From the Fathers of the Desert;

    The same lawgiver who said, "Thou shalt not fornicate." also said, "Thou shalt not judge."


    Offline TheJovialInquisitor

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #11 on: May 11, 2018, 11:06:22 AM »
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  • From the Fathers of the Desert;

    The same lawgiver who said, "Thou shalt not fornicate." also said, "Thou shalt not judge."
    I'm not sure which "Father of the Desert" you're talking about, but I believe the doctrine is to judge justly, not refrain from judging at all.

    Offline Cantarella

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #12 on: May 11, 2018, 01:34:39 PM »
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  • From the Fathers of the Desert;

    The same lawgiver who said, "Thou shalt not fornicate." also said, "Thou shalt not judge."

    The "not judge" commandment is terribly misunderstood and abused nowadays.

    Most people rather take sides with the one in the left here, instead of Jesus Christ:


    If anyone says that true and natural water is not necessary for baptism and thus twists into some metaphor the words of our Lord Jesus Christ" Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Spirit" (Jn 3:5) let him be anathema.

    Offline 1st Mansion Tenant

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #13 on: May 11, 2018, 06:14:27 PM »
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  • We are not to "judge" people, only God is allowed to do that. But, we are allowed to use discretion about how we interact with individuals based on their actions and whether we believe them likely to damage our faith or our body. It's difficult to be on friendly terms with co-workers who are obviously reveling in various sinful behaviors without seeming to condone their sins. And, if they sense you disapprove, then you're branded a snooty prude or religious-fanatic-weirdo.

    It's kind of a no-win situation. You can park your workstation on the driest edge of the mud-hole, but you're still inside the pigpen. Stay there too long and you might find yourself sprouting a curly tail of your own.  You're young, it would be worthwhile to get whatever training you need to work for yourself - or in a more upscale environment where those types at least keep it to themselves for the most part.

    Offline TheJovialInquisitor

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    Re: How To Act Towards Sinners/Nonbelivers
    « Reply #14 on: May 12, 2018, 01:23:26 AM »
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  • You're young, it would be worthwhile to get whatever training you need to work for yourself - or in a more upscale environment where those types at least keep it to themselves for the most part.
    I'm working on it.  That's not going to start for at least a couple of months though.