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Author Topic: How does one get the courage to speak up?  (Read 538 times)

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Offline Cryptinox

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How does one get the courage to speak up?
« on: July 18, 2021, 03:05:11 AM »
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    • I often feel anxiety about telling people not to take God's name in vain especially before it comes up. This worries me since I remember St. Thomas Aquinas saying blasphemy is worse than murder since it is directly against God.  How does one build up this strength? 
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    Offline jvk

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #1 on: July 18, 2021, 05:37:38 AM »
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    • Here's some suggestions.  

    1.  Have your script ready.  I tell my kids to say, "We don't talk that way", and turn around and walk away.  (Why be by people like that anyway?)  Or, "Please don't use God's name wrongly", then if they say it again, leave.  

    2.  Practice!  Practice saying it in front of the mirror until you can say it comfortably without blushing.  Practice w/friends who feel the same way you do.  

    3.  Don't be nervous--and I know that's the hard part.  The first time around doing something new is always the hardest.  But the more you do this, the easier it will become.

    4.  Most importantly!  Say a quick mental prayer to the Holy Ghost, your Guardian Angel, special Saint you've got a devotion to, Our Lady...they'll always help.

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    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #2 on: July 18, 2021, 06:48:54 AM »
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    • When that happens to me I say: blessed be God blessed be his holy name, in a low voice. Usually the person hears it and gets the hint. If it’s someone I know fairly well, I admonish him in a gentle way. This has generally worked for me.
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    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?

    Offline DigitalLogos

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #3 on: July 18, 2021, 06:55:52 AM »
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    • Quote from: Quo vadis Domine on July 18, 2021, 06:48:54 AM
    When that happens to me I say: blessed be God blessed be his holy name, in a low voice. Usually the person hears it and gets the hint. If it’s someone I know fairly well, I admonish him in a gentle way. This has generally worked for me.
    I usually "complete" their "prayer" by saying "have mercy on us" or "blessed be His Name". Otherwise, making an immediate act of reparation either mentally or quietly is something I'll do reactively as well.

    The prayer "My God I believe, I adore, I hope, and I love Thee. I beg pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope, and do not love Thee" was recommended by my priest.
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    "Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof." [Matt. 6:34]

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    "A holy man continueth in wisdom as the sun: but a fool is changed as the moon." [Ecclus. 27:12]

    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #4 on: July 18, 2021, 06:57:17 AM »
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    • Quote from: DigitalLogos on July 18, 2021, 06:55:52 AM
    I usually "complete" their "prayer" by saying "have mercy on us" or "blessed be His Name". Otherwise, making an immediate act of reparation either mentally or quietly is something I'll do reactively as well.

    The prayer "My God I believe, I adore, I hope, and I love Thee. I beg pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope, and do not love Thee" was recommended by my priest.
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    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?

    Offline donkath

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #5 on: July 18, 2021, 06:59:26 AM »
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    • Make a Sign of the Cross humbly, with downcast eyes.  This is an act of reparation on the spot to Our Lord.
    Nobody after that blasphemes again.  If they do - then leave.

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    "In His wisdom," says St. Gregory, "almighty God preferred rather to bring good out of evil than never allow evil to occur."

    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #6 on: July 18, 2021, 07:03:57 AM »
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    • Quote from: donkath on July 18, 2021, 06:59:26 AM
    Make a Sign of the Cross humbly, with downcast eyes.  This is an act of reparation on the spot to Our Lord.
    Nobody after that blasphemes again.  If they do - then leave.


    I like your sentiments, but if you’re too admonishing it doesn’t help in converting them and that is part of my goal.
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    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?

    Offline Stubborn

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #7 on: July 18, 2021, 10:44:03 AM »
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    • I've done what my mom (+rip) used to do, who really was actually very and sincerely saddened by it - I think that's the first thing needed because once you are sincerely affected by it, it is much easier and almost second nature to say something.

    She would always say something, didn't matter who the offender was that said it, and now that I think about it, I only remember the offender either stop saying it, or they would offer some type of apology, of the feew times I recall, I never remember anyone arguing with her. Her rebuke always began with something along the lines of a gentile but firm question: "Why are you asking God to damn you/him/her/it?" It always sounded like she sincerely wondered. Anyway, I've done the same only a few times, and it seems like it only takes asking this one time, if the person has any common decency at all, the result is that he watches his mouth around you from then on.

    Other than that, say "Blessed be God, blessed be the name of God, blessed be His holy name" to yourself.  
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    Offline Cryptinox

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #8 on: July 18, 2021, 12:29:50 PM »
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    • Quote from: jvk on July 18, 2021, 05:37:38 AM

    Here's some suggestions.  

    1.  Have your script ready.  I tell my kids to say, "We don't talk that way", and turn around and walk away.  (Why be by people like that anyway?)  Or, "Please don't use God's name wrongly", then if they say it again, leave.  

    2.  Practice!  Practice saying it in front of the mirror until you can say it comfortably without blushing.  Practice w/friends who feel the same way you do.  

    3.  Don't be nervous--and I know that's the hard part.  The first time around doing something new is always the hardest.  But the more you do this, the easier it will become.

    4.  Most importantly!  Say a quick mental prayer to the Holy Ghost, your Guardian Angel, special Saint you've got a devotion to, Our Lady...they'll always help.
    Thanks for the mirror suggestion. Developing courage to do that before the act is committed will be extra hard though. I might get noise cancelling headphones and maybe admonish while wearing them I sometimes have done quick "Don't say that" admonitions but I often feel worried about those not being sufficient.
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    Offline bodeens

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #9 on: July 18, 2021, 12:58:07 PM »
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    • I always say "Blessed be His Name". I try to always correct immediate family and friends on this (I am very imperfect and can grow here too) by just directly saying "Don't blaspheme." to them. I used to have a problem calling blasphemy out and at some point I realized being angry about it was good. If you're having a visceral, emotional reaction that's good, you just have to follow it. Family and friends now realize this is a boundary they absolutely aren't supposed to cross. People who just can't help themselves I have been cutting out of my life. I think they have very different priorities if they don't get it and aren't for me.

    My next challenge is going to be when my child is born. It's not going to be comfortable but I have to tell them if you blaspheme period (i.e. I know they blaspheme just not when I'm around) you aren't mature and moral enough to be around my child or take care of them for me when I'm on vacations or whatnot. Any advice on this would be much appreciated, this obviously has to do with family because in other instances I'd cut these people out of my life entirely. That'll be a fun conversation.
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    Offline donkath

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    Re: How does one get the courage to speak up?
    « Reply #10 on: July 18, 2021, 09:54:07 PM »
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    • Quote from: Quo vadis Domine on July 18, 2021, 07:03:57 AM

    I like your sentiments, but if you’re too admonishing it doesn’t help in converting them and that is part of my goal.
    It is far from admonishing - it is the opposite.   The whole action must be done modestly and humbly, no words because the first thing that must be done is an act of reparation which is my first goal.  It has a twofold effect.  It can hold back God's judgment on the blasphemer but first and foremost it is a pure act of sorrow for the offence against Our Lord especially if joined to sorrow for one's own sins.

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    "In His wisdom," says St. Gregory, "almighty God preferred rather to bring good out of evil than never allow evil to occur."
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