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Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: Daegus on June 06, 2011, 03:42:44 PM

Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Daegus on June 06, 2011, 03:42:44 PM
How should one go about ceasing the habit of swearing?

Being as young as I am, it should surprise no one when I say that swearing is ubiquitous. ":cussing: this", " :cussing: that" is being thrown around everywhere these days, and avoiding this bad habit is so much harder being a young adult. Sometimes, words just slip out of my mouth and it feels pretty bad.

I notice that being conscious of everything you say certainly helps (duh..  :facepalm:) and I don't doubt that with prayer I could further suppress this habit. I think it would also help to have replace words that I can use when I would otherwise be about to swear. (Like instead of needlessly invoking our Lord like "Oh ...." you could say "Oh no..")

It's sad that swearing like a sailor has become the norm.  :barf:

P.S.: Do you consider "damn" and "crap" to be swears?

Does anyone here have experience with this?
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Telesphorus on June 06, 2011, 04:23:16 PM
Yes, but I find it relatively easy to refrain from it.  Anyway, I believe if you blurt something out uncontrollably it's not considered a sin.  As for working on it - are you able to control yourself and keep from saying "ethnic slurs" that are considered morally unacceptable today?  If you can do that - odds are you can learn to have sufficient disgust and fear of saying the bad words to stop saying them.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Daegus on June 06, 2011, 05:45:45 PM
Quote from: Telesphorus
Yes, but I find it relatively easy to refrain from it.  Anyway, I believe if you blurt something out uncontrollably it's not considered a sin.  As for working on it - are you able to control yourself and keep from saying "ethnic slurs" that are considered morally unacceptable today?  If you can do that - odds are you can learn to have sufficient disgust and fear of saying the bad words to stop saying them.


Sometimes I blurt out the F word without even thinking about it. It's almost second nature to me, unfortunately. Also, I am of course able to keep myself from using "ethnic slurs". I don't see any reason to use them and I wasn't brought up to say things like that. Though growing up in a "moderate" (read: liberal) black and neo-Catholic household can be said to facilitate that. My mother has a very strange habit of telling me that white people hate me and I have to work harder than them, but then saying that other blacks are evil and lazy. No slurs, but general hostility to everyone. Is this true equality? :scratchchin:

Anyways, that's off topic.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Telesphorus on June 06, 2011, 06:11:41 PM
Quote from: Daegus
Sometimes I blurt out the F word without even thinking about it. It's almost second nature to me, unfortunately.


So it's a habit, you need to try to break.

Quote
My mother has a very strange habit of telling me that white people hate me and I have to work harder than them,


I doubt most of them hate you.  Distrust is the main thing.

Quote
but then saying that other blacks are evil and lazy.


She's telling you what she sees as the truth.  

Quote
No slurs, but general hostility to everyone. Is this true equality? :scratchchin:


General hostility to everyone is understandable but it is a form of racism.  I would say, definitely work on your speech, it will benefit you immensely.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: ServusSpiritusSancti on June 06, 2011, 09:16:21 PM
I actually do not use any swear words or use God's Name in vein. In the past my language was slightly unclean, though I usually cussed by accident. Now though, even when I lose my temper I'm able to refrain from swearing. Now, using the word "damn" is not good because you're basically damning that person or thing to hell which as you can imagine is not good. So saying "damn" towards a person is extremely bad. So the word should not be used carelessly. "Crap" isn't a swear word, it's basically a stronger word for a more basic word that I don't need to go into any detail over, just like a certain bad word that isn't worth saying here (or period really) is a stronger word for crap. Saying "crap" should be avoided in public obviously, but I don't think it's necessarily a sin to use the word, although it depends on what way you use it.

So yes, I recommend you work on your speech. And I recommend you break out of your habbit of using the F word.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: MaterDominici on June 06, 2011, 11:49:31 PM
If there are groups of people you interact with who swear regularly, try and see if these people can be avoided. Sometimes, this may be the place and not the person. For example, a co-worker might not swear while at work (depending on the job), but will do so if you meet with them in a social setting. Sometimes these interactions can't be avoided, but other times they can.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Vladimir on June 07, 2011, 07:12:19 PM
One great danger in swearing (not involving whether or not it's sinful) - in the case of an life-threatening emergency, someone who has made a habit of swearing when frustrated or in trouble, etc may end up swearing in their last moments instead of invoking the Holy Names - i.e., someone who knows they are going straight into a head on car collision may exclaim "****" out of habit instead of invoking the aid of the Holy Family, etc.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: MyrnaM on June 08, 2011, 08:10:18 AM
Matthew 12:36, "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall ....
Think on this, it might help clean up a bad habit.

Some words may not be sins, but they are not a good example to others.  

Also name calling when you think you are losing an argument is baby like.

I know many good people are guilty but if you are trying that is what matters in the eyes of God.  Whenever I hear someone use the Lords name, I just say a little prayer quietly, "Praise His holy name, God have mercy".

I hate to hear the "F" word, and once in a while I catch my son using it, although it upsets him when it slips out near me.  In fact just the other day, my adult son was telling me how someone was putting down Catholics in a nearby bar that he was at with another relative of ours.  This person was directing the rebuke to them because it came out in conversation that they both were from Mount St. Michael.  My son used the "F" word to try and defend the Mount, a little too much beer also helped it slip out.  Anyway they all begin to shout at each other and in the end, they became friends, and spoke about their bad language and too much beer drinking. The stranger was invited to the Mount to see for himself what it was all about, he accepted the invitation, because as he put it, you don't seem to be "cult like" people as I was told.  Was this whole incident a good or bad happening, I don't know, but sometime God does make lemonade from lemons.  

This person who has a Catholic background and remembers the Latin Mass heard things about the Mount being a cult, but when he met these two characters who admitted they came from the Mount, he became very interested in what was going on up at the Mount.  In the end they sang together or the beer did, hugged each other and all was well.  I hope God saw the humor in this.  

Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Catholic Samurai on June 13, 2011, 01:34:13 PM

I think one of the reasons a good portion of us swear (myself included of course) with obscenities like the "F" word is because of there is a malice attached to it that we want to utilize, and we dont keep in mind the word's meaning itself. I mean, how many of us actually want to commend a person to rape? Usually when your angry and swearing your looking for something to verbally throw at the person it's directed at, rather than physically punch them in the face, or whatever. I dont think any of us can ever be so angry with or hate anyone to the degree that we would wish something so foul and degrading upon them. Like any sin, we may see the negative aspects on the surface, but we don't see the greater evil inside it.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Matto on August 16, 2013, 01:13:49 PM
I used to swear a lot when I was a child. My mom did not like it and said that if I did not swear for a month she would get me a video game. I did not swear for a month and got the video game, Super Mario Bros. 3. Even since then I haven't used bad words very often.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: TCat on August 16, 2013, 01:21:08 PM
Everytime you use bad language
make the act of reparation for profane language:
"Blessed be God, Blessed be His Holy name, etc."
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Miseremini on August 16, 2013, 02:25:36 PM
Quote from: TCat
Everytime you use bad language
make the act of reparation for profane language:
"Blessed be God, Blessed be His Holy name, etc."


We were taught this practice back after WWII (I guess a lot of the soldiers coming home had some colourful language)  We were to pray the Divine Praises whenever we heard bad language  Of course WE were never to use it ourselves.  Parents and nuns always seemed to have a bar of soap handy for a good mouth washing.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: songbird on August 16, 2013, 04:26:37 PM
Think of some other phrases:  remember this one, "oh, fudge!'  Or Sugar!  Holy Cow, Holy Toledo, I am sure you can come up with your own.  People around you will notice a change and women especially will take notice, "this is a true man, this is my kind of guy.  That is what we were taught to do in our family.  "Oh, horse feathers!"  
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: TCat on August 17, 2013, 07:14:20 AM
I don't really think its wrong to use bad language, but I do draw think its wrong to use the Lord's name in vain. It is so common where I am that nearly every sentence a person speaks uses the name of Jesus in vain, Im not exaggerating, it is in virtually every sentence. It is so common that in Ireland there is a slang version of Jesus which is "Jayzus". This is also using the Lord's name in vain.

The problem is that this country was so religious for so long and now has gone to the other extreme, and the religious vocabulary is still part of the common language. People are not going to stop swearing unless they get some fear of God, so they need a new swear word that starts with the letter J that they can use instead of Jesus.
I've been trying to think of such a new swear word so I can coldly and calculatedly place it into circulation by my own use of it, and then others will adopt it and I will make an addition to the language which will prevent the Lords name being used in vain in some circuŠ¼stances.

My idea for this word at the moment is "J-Lo"
JayLo its raining again!
 :furtive:
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: ShepherdofSheep on August 17, 2013, 08:11:17 AM
Women most certainly do take notice when men make an effort to avoid profanity.  I cannot abide foul language, and in today's society, with many people, it's peppered as freely as articles in their speech.  

It used to be that polite men would not swear in the presence of women and children.
It always seems especially vulgar to me when the women utilize bad language just as freely, even teenagers.

In most situations I am not afraid to ask someone to refrain from such language in my presence, if necessary.  This is in situations where one is using such language to make a point, or purely out of habit, and very frequently.  They manage to find other ways to express themselves, and if something slips, they apologize.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: s2srea on August 17, 2013, 10:02:53 AM
Our priest gave a sermon very recently on bad language. His convincing point was not that it was sinful (apart from using the Lords name in Vain), which I don't necessarily think it is, but it was unbecoming of a Christian. I thought about it, and agreed. I can't imagine St. Bernard or St. Francis engaging in such talk. Its been two weeks, and I've been doing pretty well at not cussing. What has helped, I think, is letting my co-workers know that I had this as my goal. If I do slip, I correct myself. If I say, "oh s--t", I'll follow up with, "I mean oh crap/poop/fudge".

I think making the decision to stop was the most important factor. Its sort of like eating healthy/ dieting. You need to make a firm resolution to change, the rest is easy.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Stella on August 17, 2013, 10:40:37 AM
As Mater said earlier, the influence of our companions, for good or evil, can hardly be understated.

The more you associate with people who don't swear, the less you will swear.

Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Frances on August 17, 2013, 11:32:13 AM
 :whistleblower:
Here's a test.  Do you swear in the hearing of the following people?  Your boss?  Your mother?  Your grandmother?  Your priest?  In the Confessional?  Children?

If you answered no to any of the above, you don't have a bad habit, you are choosing to sin or refrain from sin.  IOW, it IS in your control.  If you answered yes to all of above, then you have a terrible habit that is at least a serious venial sin and you are a scandal to others.  You must resolve to stop.  Ask the Holy Ghost to alert you BEFORE you speak.  Ask Blessed Mother.  I don't imagine anyone ever swore in Her presence!  Ask your priest or assign yourself a MEANINGFUL penance to do every time you slip up.
When I was young, my Mom said, "Profane language is a sign of stupidity."  She used to make us kiss the top of the Palmolive dish soap.  If we swore intentionally, we got a licking.  Last one I received was in 1968.  The car broke down and Dad took it, was gone all day leaving us in our travel trailer in a broiling hot parking lot.  I "tested" Mom by declaring it was "so %#*!% hot you could cook a________________,   _______________ egg on the sidewalk."
"What?  Do you care to repeat that, young lady?"  So I did!  Did I ever get it from both Mom and Dad.  Swearing and potty-mouth were not tolerated.  All through middle school, high school, people around me swore.  I never did and so don't have a problem with it.

BTW-"Crap" and similar words is not a swear word, rather, a sign of poor breeding and shows lack of consideration for others.  You might also think of what your pet words actually mean.  Is that really what you want to say?
 :stare:
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Napoli on August 17, 2013, 02:20:04 PM
Duct tape works.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Stephen Francis on August 17, 2013, 03:02:30 PM
Bear in mind that phrases like 'holy cow' and 'holy smoke' are modernist terms used to mock religion. The idea that things or people can be holy is seen as ridiculous, so there is an effort to mock the idea. It's not a strictly anti-Catholic idea but it does serve to make fun of religion.

H-ly cow is offensive to Hindus.

H-ly smoke, h-ly Toledo, etc are used to mock the idea of incense or of holy places (Toledo is the city  in Spain, not the one in Ohio, USA).

For what it's worth, I used to not only swear like a proverbial sailor, I went out of my way to be as flagrant with my swearing as I could be when I was among people who either didn't mind or would join in.

Remember that Our Lord is the Lord of Lords and will bring everything to light that we have done. Understand that you may not have the chance or the time to make amends to the PEOPLE you may have offended, but there is no time like the present to stop swearing and begin to offer your speech from today on in reparation for offenses against Our Lord Jesus Christ. Bear in mind that the gravity and severity of our judgment of ourselves will help us to amend our lives and thus not be judged on the last Day.

Rest assured that I will be praying for you.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, triumph soon!

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Zeitun on August 17, 2013, 09:23:40 PM
Quote from: Frances
:whistleblower:
Here's a test.  Do you swear in the hearing of the following people?  Your boss?  Your mother?  Your grandmother?  Your priest?  In the Confessional?  Children?

If you answered no to any of the above, you don't have a bad habit, you are choosing to sin or refrain from sin.  IOW, it IS in your control.  If you answered yes to all of above, then you have a terrible habit that is at least a serious venial sin and you are a scandal to others.  You must resolve to stop.  Ask the Holy Ghost to alert you BEFORE you speak.  Ask Blessed Mother.  I don't imagine anyone ever swore in Her presence!  Ask your priest or assign yourself a MEANINGFUL penance to do every time you slip up.
When I was young, my Mom said, "Profane language is a sign of stupidity."  She used to make us kiss the top of the Palmolive dish soap.  If we swore intentionally, we got a licking.  Last one I received was in 1968.  The car broke down and Dad took it, was gone all day leaving us in our travel trailer in a broiling hot parking lot.  I "tested" Mom by declaring it was "so %#*!% hot you could cook a________________,   _______________ egg on the sidewalk."
"What?  Do you care to repeat that, young lady?"  So I did!  Did I ever get it from both Mom and Dad.  Swearing and potty-mouth were not tolerated.  All through middle school, high school, people around me swore.  I never did and so don't have a problem with it.

BTW-"Crap" and similar words is not a swear word, rather, a sign of poor breeding and shows lack of consideration for others.  You might also think of what your pet words actually mean.  Is that really what you want to say?
 :stare:


What about priests who say "crap" and "crappy" all the time?
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: jen51 on August 17, 2013, 09:42:49 PM
Quote from: Frances

When I was young, my Mom said, "Profane language is a sign of stupidity."  She used to make us kiss the top of the Palmolive dish soap.  If we swore intentionally, we got a licking.  Last one I received was in 1968.  The car broke down and Dad took it, was gone all day leaving us in our travel trailer in a broiling hot parking lot.  I "tested" Mom by declaring it was "so %#*!% hot you could cook a________________,   _______________ egg on the sidewalk."
"What?  Do you care to repeat that, young lady?"  So I did!  Did I ever get it from both Mom and Dad.  Swearing and potty-mouth were not tolerated.  All through middle school, high school, people around me swore.  I never did and so don't have a problem with it.

BTW-"Crap" and similar words is not a swear word, rather, a sign of poor breeding and shows lack of consideration for others.  You might also think of what your pet words actually mean.  Is that really what you want to say?
 :stare:


Funny story, Frances.

I remember in school, in about the 4th or 5th grade, cussing became the cool thing to do.  I wasn't bold enough to say a naughty word in front of my peers, but I had got myself in the habit of saying cuss words to myself. One day my mother told me to knock a wasps nest down with a broom handle, thinking it was an abandoned nest. So I did, and to my surprise wasps came out. In a moment of panick, I yelled out loud what I normally would have only said to myself which was "OH $!*#!" My mother of course heard it, and was utterly shocked. She asked me if I said what she thought she heard and I denied it. I got grounded for cussing and lying.

I outgrew that phase pretty quickly. These days I am averse to cussing. Not only is it offensive to others, it is terribly unclassy. Especially in mixed company.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: poche on August 17, 2013, 11:13:35 PM
My mother used to wash our mouths with soap if she heard any of us say anything that she thought was offensive. Therefore I never learned to swear.
 :cool: :cool: :cool:
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Frances on August 17, 2013, 11:36:41 PM
 :mad: :incense:
Zeitun-Sometimes I scowl at that priest.  Thus far, he has not reformed.  Most of the time, I do as I'm told and "decrapify" the premises.  
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Viva Cristo Rey on August 27, 2013, 09:26:50 PM
Quote from: Zeitun
Quote from: Frances
:whistleblower:
Here's a test.  Do you swear in the hearing of the following people?  Your boss?  Your mother?  Your grandmother?  Your priest?  In the Confessional?  Children?

If you answered no to any of the above, you don't have a bad habit, you are choosing to sin or refrain from sin.  IOW, it IS in your control.  If you answered yes to all of above, then you have a terrible habit that is at least a serious venial sin and you are a scandal to others.  You must resolve to stop.  Ask the Holy Ghost to alert you BEFORE you speak.  Ask Blessed Mother.  I don't imagine anyone ever swore in Her presence!  Ask your priest or assign yourself a MEANINGFUL penance to do every time you slip up.
When I was young, my Mom said, "Profane language is a sign of stupidity."  She used to make us kiss the top of the Palmolive dish soap.  If we swore intentionally, we got a licking.  Last one I received was in 1968.  The car broke down and Dad took it, was gone all day leaving us in our travel trailer in a broiling hot parking lot.  I "tested" Mom by declaring it was "so %#*!% hot you could cook a________________,   _______________ egg on the sidewalk."
"What?  Do you care to repeat that, young lady?"  So I did!  Did I ever get it from both Mom and Dad.  Swearing and potty-mouth were not tolerated.  All through middle school, high school, people around me swore.  I never did and so don't have a problem with it.

BTW-"Crap" and similar words is not a swear word, rather, a sign of poor breeding and shows lack of consideration for others.  You might also think of what your pet words actually mean.  Is that really what you want to say?
 :stare:


What about priests who say "crap" and "crappy" all the time?


Which priests
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: shin on August 29, 2013, 10:17:47 AM
Swearing is the language folks use in Hell. It's not the language folks use in Heaven.
Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: Neil Obstat on August 29, 2013, 11:02:32 AM
.
When Matto revived this old thread, that had lain dormant for two
years, with this post:

Post (http://www.cathinfo.com/catholic.php?a=topic&t=14962&min=5#p4)
Quote from: Matto
I used to swear a lot when I was a child. My mom did not like it and said that if I did not swear for a month she would get me a video game. I did not swear for a month and got the video game, Super Mario Bros. 3. Even since then I haven't used bad words very often.


he did provide a good answer to the thread title question, "How do you
deter the [bad] habit of swearing?"


I've read the thread, and did not find any mention of the idea I have
heard promoted by a good priest I know, namely, that it is primarily our
love of God that should be at the root of our avoidance of profanity.

Whenever you have any kind of urge to commit sin, you should say things
that remind yourself of your love for God, and a most effective sentence
is this one:

"My Jesus, it is YOU that I love."

Try it and see:  If you start saying this several times a day, and especially
when you are tempted to sins, just see if avoiding the sin isn't so much
a difficulty anymore.  It's not simply a matter of doing what you know is
right, for we are fallen creatures and we are weak, and the devil never
sleeps.  It is a battle of powers in high places.  But remember, Our Lord
said, on your own it is fairly impossible, for without Him you can do
nothing.  But with Him, you can do everything.  



Title: How do you deter the habit of swearing?
Post by: magdalena on August 29, 2013, 07:29:31 PM
Quote from: Neil Obstat
.
When Matto revived this old thread, that had lain dormant for two
years, with this post:

Post (http://www.cathinfo.com/catholic.php?a=topic&t=14962&min=5#p4)
Quote from: Matto
I used to swear a lot when I was a child. My mom did not like it and said that if I did not swear for a month she would get me a video game. I did not swear for a month and got the video game, Super Mario Bros. 3. Even since then I haven't used bad words very often.


he did provide a good answer to the thread title question, "How do you
deter the [bad] habit of swearing?"


I've read the thread, and did not find any mention of the idea I have
heard promoted by a good priest I know, namely, that it is primarily our
love of God that should be at the root of our avoidance of profanity.

Whenever you have any kind of urge to commit sin, you should say things
that remind yourself of your love for God, and a most effective sentence
is this one:

"My Jesus, it is YOU that I love."

Try it and see:  If you start saying this several times a day, and especially
when you are tempted to sins, just see if avoiding the sin isn't so much
a difficulty anymore.  It's not simply a matter of doing what you know is
right, for we are fallen creatures and we are weak, and the devil never
sleeps.  It is a battle of powers in high places.  But remember, Our Lord
said, on your own it is fairly impossible, for without Him you can do
nothing.  But with Him, you can do everything.  



Perfect.  :pray:

I like the idea of the Divine Praises as well.

I wonder how Daegus is coming along?