Author Topic: How can you tell if youre hated for Christ or Hated for yourself? (Read 762 times)

MrsZ · « **on:** December 16, 2010, 08:55:51 AM »

I am a convert to Catholicism (2000). I am also a choleric-melancholic temperament and before I ever became a Catholic, I was opinionated, pushy, demanding, with overly high standards and expectations. Unfortunately, being given the gift of faith did not, for the first half dozen years, improve these unpleasant characteristics of my personality. It just gave me another vehicle with which to drive my agenda home.

I read a post on Fisheaters a few months ago referencing the problem of "intemperate zeal." And it fit me to a "T". What I am sincerely lacking now and in years past is HUMILITY.

I have the unfortunate reality of having pushed and pushed my religion and views on anybody who would listen and the existence of the internet and email has allowed me to send people notes and messages and links about the faith and the need for repentance to an extreme amount.

So, my question is about the statement that people will hate you the more you become closer to God. What would it look like if I was humble and charitable (another virtue I am deficient in), temperate and sweet? How could people "hate" you with that manner?

I hope I've explained myself in a way that is understandable. I believe that I am universally hated not so much because of what I believe, but the manner in which I've engaged with people in my life: judgmental, proud, uncharitable, self-righteous ... etc. Not because I am a Catholic.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #1 on:** December 16, 2010, 09:01:44 AM »

Usually it's a combination of the two I think.

It really does seem sometimes, that when push comes to shove, very few people are serious about their Faith. So if they think you are too Catholic, they avoid you.

St Jude Thaddeus · « **Reply #2 on:** December 16, 2010, 09:13:16 PM »

Great post, Mrs. Z! It should be discussed on every Trad forum on the net!

It's certainly easy to fall into the mentality that "everyone hates me because I'm right!" Maybe they hate me because I'm an self-centered, pedantic jerk.

This is why we have to strive to eliminate every trace of egotism from our souls. Only by emptying ourselves out and filling ourselves up with God can we be sure if we are loved or hated for our message or for ourselves.

This, however, is very difficult for most of us to do. We are very full of ourselves and leave little room for God's graces to take root. This is why missionary activity is best left to the "professionals." They have a calling and receive training to bring others to the Faith. Many of us, with our vanity, uncharitableness, and impatience, end up driving people away instead of attracting them.

Matthew · « **Reply #3 on:** December 16, 2010, 09:39:30 PM »

Reading Lives of the Saints -- a lot -- helps to form your mind in how we should behave toward those outside the Faith. You start to see some serious patterns -- compassion, charity, humility, etc.

For one thing, the holier you become, and the deeper your self-knowledge becomes, you are more inclined to go easy on others. You see just how wretched you are, so you cut people more slack.

All the saints would agree -- Humility comes naturally with self-knowledge

Belloc · « **Reply #4 on:** December 17, 2010, 07:16:10 AM »

:applause:

MrsZ · « **Reply #5 on:** December 17, 2010, 07:17:52 AM »

I agree. The choleric part of my personality is so prevalent that I've got a real struggle on my hands to override my seeming compulsion to reach out in negative, even harmful (emotionally) ways to others. The pain of realizing that not only do I display these traits and offend others is second only to the shame of realizing that I may well have driven them further away from the Faith with my bad example of being a Christian. I'll have to answer for this someday, as well.