Author Topic: HELP. (Read 11962 times)

TKGS · « **Reply #45 on:** July 17, 2011, 05:27:16 PM »

You may wish to re-read the postings. Raoul76 has given you the most sound counsel on the topic.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #46 on:** July 18, 2011, 10:34:47 PM »

I am not saying that you are doing this, but it is what usually happens:
When two wonderful people meet, it is the girl who is really overjoyed at finding a unique guy and afraid of losing him. So she does anything in her power, do anything he says, just to keep him. After a while the guy realizes it, knows well how the girl is attached and learn a very bad thing: that he can ask for anything he wants, and none of his demands will be refused. Males have an instinct that tells them when a woman reaches this degree of fear of loss.
But it is just when the girl loses all her individuality and personal boundaries that the guy leaves her for a one that is a challenge. Then the girl feels empty, as if someone has sucked all her energy and then threw her away. Just the way you treat a bottle of cola: drink the juice, throw it in the bin.
If a guy really loves, he will respect her boundaries.

s2srea · « **Reply #47 on:** July 19, 2011, 11:30:19 AM »

Quote from: Sophia

1.) would it kill you guys to be a little more accepting and understanding when someone comes to you for help?

Dear Sophia,

I know there has been plenty of great posts to go through here with sound advice. I believe however, and as this sentence of yours points out, you may not be really looking for help but acceptance.

I suggest, as others have, to turn to true and humble prayer, and not random Catholic message boards. You are most welcome here, however, I don't see this as being what you need. God is not keeping any answers from you- he only wants you to ask and listen. You then have the power to accept or reject what he says.

Please know everyone here cares for you, but this is probably the last place you will find a means to your desire of unconditional acceptance. We will only lead you towards a higher and harder, and therefore, a more holy life- one that is at odds with where you may be now, and where the world and your lower intellect wants you to stay.

You will remain in my prayers.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #48 on:** September 16, 2012, 01:49:01 PM »

This thread was posted when I was without internet.

I'm surprised no one pointed out the absurdity of the young woman saying she had to keep her boyfriend and that he would have to wait six years for her to be ready for marriage.

These are the absurd convolutions that occur when a composite value system of feminism and Christianity is taught and pharisaically imposed by double-minded parents and clerics.

It's no wonder the young woman was so confused. - her fundamental beliefs about what she was supposed to do with her life were hopelessly conflicting.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #49 on:** September 16, 2012, 02:06:05 PM »

I read the first post again and a rather general question came to my mind: does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

Telesphorus · « **Reply #50 on:** September 16, 2012, 02:17:44 PM »

Quote from: spouse of Jesus

I read the first post again and a rather general question came to my mind: does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

No. If you're a five year old boy and you see a nude woman because your mother took you through the women's changing room at the pool it has a powerful effect.

Such things don't depend on having any knowledge of the matter, they are instinctive.

Sigismund · « **Reply #51 on:** September 16, 2012, 03:08:45 PM »

Quote from: spouse of Jesus

I read the first post again and a rather general question came to my mind: does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

It doesn't necessarily, but when kids are exposed to sɛҳuąƖ things at a much younger age than they should be, it certainly creates an unhealthy understanding of sɛҳuąƖity. If that is joined with a lack of good moral formation, the consequences can be especially devastating.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #52 on:** September 16, 2012, 03:22:01 PM »

Quote from: Sigismund

Quote from: spouse of Jesus
I read the first post again and a rather general question came to my mind: does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

It doesn't necessarily, but when kids are exposed to sɛҳuąƖ things at a much younger age than they should be, it certainly creates an unhealthy understanding of sɛҳuąƖity. If that is joined with a lack of good moral formation, the consequences can be especially devastating.

Sigismund, it was someone else named Sigismund who created an incredibly influential system of "psychology" that encouraged people to believe they experienced sɛҳuąƖ molestation but blocked it out of their memories. He encouraged such paranoid beliefs.

The only correct answer to SoJ's question is No.

Stephen Francis · « **Reply #53 on:** September 16, 2012, 04:27:19 PM »

+JMJ+

Friends of Our Lord and the Holy Family,

I have been away for a while, and I have been back to read but not post lately, but I felt it was necessary to offer some advice upon reading the questions and comments in this thread.

First, to Sophia: It can be very difficult to come to a forum like this one, where there are so many people who are passionate about their traditional Catholic faith, and feel understood and accepted. Many people who post here have been through incredibly trying times spiritually and emotionally due to the collapse of the leadership in Rome. These posters are trying to help you, but they are also very afraid for you because most of what you consider your Catholic upbringing may have done as much harm as good. Please be patient with those who are trying to help you and don't leave because you might feel "judged". Medicine sometimes doesn't taste good, but it is necessary.

Second, to the rest of the posters, esp. those who are younger in age/experience and male: PLEASE, for the sake of your own purity, Sophia's purity AND the modesty of the other readers here, refrain from addressing your or anyone's sɛҳuąƖ sin in any sort of detail. These things should NOT be discussed between males and females UNLESS the male is the woman's husband, priest-confessor or other spiritual authority. We must all guard our chastity so as to honor Our Lord and imitate Our Lady. If there are older, mature Catholic WOMEN on the forum who would like to communicate with Sophia, I am sure Matthew can make an exchange of contact information possible privately. Anyone else would do well to offer spiritual advice on prayer, good reading and other healthy spiritual practices and to stay far away from specifics. We are dealing with the care and well-being of a young, single woman, not our daughter or sister or relative; even in those cases, modesty and holiness would best be served by encouraging her to seek a traditional priest for confession and spiritual formation.

Sophia, I will ask God for the graces to remember you daily in prayer and I offer an intention for your purity and growth in faith even as I am typing this.

St. Gemma Galgani, holy and devoted virgin, pray for Sophia and for us.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Sigismund · « **Reply #54 on:** September 16, 2012, 07:43:07 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Sigismund
Quote from: spouse of Jesus
I read the first post again and a rather general question came to my mind: does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

It doesn't necessarily, but when kids are exposed to sɛҳuąƖ things at a much younger age than they should be, it certainly creates an unhealthy understanding of sɛҳuąƖity. If that is joined with a lack of good moral formation, the consequences can be especially devastating.

Sigismund, it was someone else named Sigismund who created an incredibly influential system of "psychology" that encouraged people to believe they experienced sɛҳuąƖ molestation but blocked it out of their memories. He encouraged such paranoid beliefs.

The only correct answer to SoJ's question is No.

I am sorry, but that is simply absurd. It has nothing to do with Freud. If a kid of ten, say, experiences sɛҳuąƖ assault, and sɛҳuąƖ feelings he or she would not otherwise have experienced at that age, can you seriously suggest that this is not going to create havoc with the child's sɛҳuąƖ feelings? Do you think this will simply go away? Do you think a child exposed to pornography is not going to have sɛҳuąƖ thoughts about it that he or she would not otherwise have had?

And my screen name is Sigismund, not Sigmund. :smile:

Telesphorus · « **Reply #55 on:** September 16, 2012, 07:49:09 PM »

The man's name was Sigismund Schlomo Freud.

This is what Spouse of Jesus asked:

does experiencing carnal temptations from very a young age mean one is molested in the past?

There's only one answer to that that's logical. No.

It was Freud who suggested that molestation was nearly universal (although he might have eventually renounced that insanely paranoid belief) and blocked out repressed, because he was a typical Jєωιѕн maniac.

Sigismund · « **Reply #56 on:** September 16, 2012, 10:16:21 PM »

Tele,

You are right. I didn't read the question carefully enough. My apologies. Spouse asked about apples, and I replied with oranges.

And I learned something about Freud's real name.

poche · « **Reply #57 on:** September 17, 2012, 03:25:34 AM »

Marcelino · « **Reply #58 on:** September 17, 2012, 04:09:03 AM »

:reading:

Nadir · « **Reply #59 on:** September 17, 2012, 05:49:51 AM »

Quote from: Sophia

I was homeschooled by a Catholic organization and my parents. I have read plenty on the saints... Please guys, I came on here to ask for help...not to be judged.

Sophia, this is a very minimalist and dismissive response to excellent and very worthwhile counsel (to study and build a relationship with the saints). Do you have one whom you find attracts you?

I hope you will stay with us, as there is much to be learned here about courting and preparation for a Catholic marriage.

Telesphorus took the words out of my mouth (I have been away too and am new to this post). It is not good for you to have a boyfriend - that is a special and exclusive relationship with a young man of 20, when you have no intention whatsoever of marrying for another 6 years, and especially in view of the fact that he is not Catholic.

You have said you are looking at pornography (I pray you have ceased that by now) and that he is a good kisser. I presume that you mean that a kiss is more than a chaste peck on the cheek. If it is more than that, your desire for chastity will require that you no longer allow such behaviour.

You are truly loved here, because the people here want, not to prevent a few tears here and now, but for you to be happy in your remaining life on earth, and for you to enjoy the beatific vision in eternity. There is no greater thing to be achieved.

My husband has never told me that I am beautiful, but he does show that he loves me. It is nice to be told that, but it really is not so important in the long run. Beauty is only skin-deep and can easily be marred by sinful activity.

It is more important that your soul be beautiful, and it will be if you humbly accept the wisdom that is being so lovingly dispensed here on this forum.