I have a friend with a unique problem, and he is at a loss how to deal with it. I feel
rather privileged to hear about it, and I voluntarily told him I would not reveal his
name, for privacy concerns.

But with the anonymity of the Internet and this collection of Catholic souls on
CathInfo, perhaps someone here has an idea what I can suggest to him. Normally,
just going to his confessor or a local priest would answer his concern, but he is
not able to do that for reasons that will become evident.

My friend's daughter was beginning to stop going to Mass. This was going on for
over a year. Then, over the summer, when some things transpired, she tentatively
started going to Mass again. Then, on a special occasion, she explained to him
that over the summer, when she was living away from home (she is an adult
daughter) she read some Harry Potter books. Now, she said this in the context of
being grateful to her father for having forbade those books in the house when she
was growing up. But now, she said, that after having read the Catechism and
being confirmed and going to Mass, she believes she knows the Faith well enough
to be able to read these books as literature, and now she can see that as fiction,
they are not based in reality, but in myth and fantasy.

To make a long story short, she said that it was by her observation of how the
author uses Catholic principles in her writing. Her father told her that the author
is a Catholic woman, and his daughter said that she knew this. But she is really
convinced that she is now able to return to Mass because of her reading of these
books. It was reading Harry Potter that brought her back to Mass. she said.

Her father tried to make some humor of this, but his daughter did not think it
was funny. She challenged him to pronounce on the possibility that these books
could be instrumental in bringing her back to the Church, and he told her that
there is nothing he could say that would answer this, but that she should tell her
confessor about it under the seal of Confession. She replied that she does not
have a confessor. She does not trust any of the priests she knows to be able to
understand this. She does not want to speak to a particular sedevacantist priest
because he has tried to convince her of sedevacantism, apparently because he
has found this is a means of answering all the social problems that his followers
have, or something like that. She does not like other priests she knows, one
or another for other various reasons.

So if anyone here has some idea of what I can tell him, I'd like to hear it, so
I can pass it on. He does not visit Internet forums, so he would not come here
for this or for any other reason, apparently. I think I know why, but it's just a
hunch.

If his daughter goes to Confession on his father's urging, and the priest says
anything that upsets her, he is afraid that she will blame him for "making" her
go to that priest, and then she might abandon Mass again. Because something
similar happened before, he said. It's a long story.

If you have any questions, maybe I left something out that could be helpful,
but I don't want to make this into a "book." I would like to ask some friends
about this, but if the word gets back to my friend's daughter that someone is
"talking about her behind her back," she could very likely give up on the Church
again. This is not just a "hunch," because it has historical basis in fact.

Any help would be appreciated (by me) and perhaps I can find a way to pass it
along without revealing the fact that I got the idea on the Net.

What a world!

Thanks, Mithrandylan.

The father seems worried that he's "walking on eggs" and if he makes a wrong
move, then his daughter could turn away from church again, and he'll have to be
remembering his mistake from then on.

So he's looking for ideas on how to cope with this. His daughter has confided in
him about her return that was facilitated by the Potter books, because they have
"Catholic" elements. But she isn't likely going to be talking to other Catholics
about this any time soon. He could be wrong, of course. She might be using him
as a sounding board, practicing her approach - how to tell a Catholic that
reading Harry Potter can be a GOOD thing.

Should the father have a word with the priests he knows, so as to get an idea
which one would be the best for his daughter as a confessor? One thing's for
sure:  if his daughter discovers that he has been talking to a priest about her
"problem behind her back," that would be his fatal mistake.

He wants to do something, so he doesn't look back at this time regretting that
he neglected his duty, but he is not sure what to do without blowing it. And all
I can do is listen, because the suggestions I have offered he did not like, for
one reason or another.

She is really enthusiastic about Potter vocabulary and stories, probably because
having that skill gives her comraderie with her peers. She is not enthusiastic
about Mass prayers or Church doctrine or Bible stories.

There are other factors, of course.

Example:
Since it is these "Catholic" elements that have brought her back to Mass, is it
unreasonable to expect that all of her meditations at Mass remind her now of
some Potter sub-plot? When she hears a sermon, is it likely that she's using
her memory of a Potter story or two to interpret the sermon?If these are the
case, how will she not become a different breed of Catholic in the long run?

From an outside perspective, it is what it is and you get what you get and
that's it. But from his own perspective, he thinks he is standing at a crossroads,
and his next move could determine his future: one with his daughter or one
without her, perhaps forever. I don't know what to tell him.

As one that has NEVER read a Harry Potter book ,nor seen teh films, I know mostly about the series from Catholic writers, most in the negative.

The fact that she is attending Mass is a good sign and hopefully will continue along that path.

Your friend should perhaps drop the subject of Harry Potter and focus more on supporting the daughter as she attends Mass,etc.

Wold love to see if she too drops the Potter thing or for some odd reason, keeps bringing it up. If so, that is a odd behavior and would wonder why.

For what ever secular influences may have brought her back to the faith and worship,etc, its enough she is back.

Perhaps, the fellow could causally suggest books by Chesterton or Tolkein,etc..Telokein esp would be much sounder ground.

A priest is iffy, if she brings it up, perhaps a good priest that is more mentally level headed and not likely to go  :shocked: :really-mad2: at the mention of Potter, perhaps, an arranged meeting or dinner,etc.

Would help too if there is a woman her own age or near to she could talk with and friendly with.

Can sympathize as one that for 5 or 6 yrs, warmed the couch on Sunday AM and not doing a rosary nor Missal on his own either  :sad:

She then sounds very fragile and vulnerable, best for dad to take a guiding hand, though mostly, subtle. Would stand by getting a priest involved that is calm and patient and a few good Catholic lay mentors......
Know a fellow that was night/day this way and has scared off Prots from the faith, they were open to the Fide, you could see it clearly and then, bam, this guy wiggs out and thats the end, last straw and no more interest...

True o nconfession, and letting Potter drop if she is willing to, if not, then something going on, hopefully will ween off. Prior to confession, might be good for her to meet a priest, maybe a 1-1 or dad  and her w/priest....sometimes the cold confesisonal for some of us are fine, those more matured in faith, but wonder about the meeting/dinner thing and if not a good prudent step.....the confessional is a must, tis true and needed ASAP, but I do wonder if not a intimidating thing for her at this stage or not.

You are a convert, she is not but largely in same situation to you when you first came into church, any thoughts? Were you more comfortable in meeting the priest and then confessing, less intimidating? Not trying to get touchy-feely on this, but would hate for her to get turned off this soon into return...

I've never read the books or seen the movies, so I can't comment directly on "Harry Potter".

However I can correct the error believing that the author is a Catholic. Joane Rowling has never been a Catholic, never pronounced to be a Catholic, was raised Protestant, is married to a Protestant (second "marriage"), and is currently an Episcopalian.

Wow. This could be a big point, because the father thinks that Rowling comes from
a Catholic background. This might make a difference. Thanks.

As one that has NEVER read a Harry Potter book, nor seen the films, I know mostly about the series from Catholic writers, most in the negative.

The fact that she is attending Mass is a good sign and hopefully will continue along that path.

Your friend should perhaps drop the subject of Harry Potter and focus more on supporting the daughter as she attends Mass,etc.

Wold love to see if she too drops the Potter thing or for some odd reason, keeps bringing it up. If so, that is a odd behavior and would wonder why.

For what ever secular influences may have brought her back to the faith and worship,etc, its enough she is back.

Perhaps, the fellow could causally suggest books by Chesterton or Tolkein, etc.. Telokein esp would be much sounder ground.

A priest is iffy, if she brings it up, perhaps a good priest that is more mentally level headed and not likely to go  :shocked: :really-mad2: at the mention of Potter, perhaps, an arranged meeting or dinner, etc.

Would help too if there is a woman her own age or near to she could talk with and friendly with.

Can sympathize as one that for 5 or 6 yrs, warmed the couch on Sunday AM and not doing a rosary nor Missal on his own either  :sad:

All very helpful points, Belloc. I especially like the arranged dinner and the
Tolkein idea.

The father is afraid that his daughter is developing a disordered affection for
things that are not Catholic, and thereby is missing out on having a love for God,
as He IS, not in how she would HAVE Him be. For it is truly a Modernist
principle that God is what we make of Him, that "God is imanent," and His
being comes from within us:  we effectively create God in our own minds.

When he has tried to talk to his daughter about these things, she has no
interest. And you do not find this in the Mass prayers, which is why Pope St.
Pius X had to write (or had Cardinal Merry del Val write them) Lamentabili,
Pascendi and Sacrorum Antistitum.  But just try to get someone who wants
nothing to do with studying doctrine to learn about those three MONUMENTS
that utterly destroy every vestige of Modernism if you LET them.

Sounds like Dad is hung up on this Harry Potter thing. I'm no priest, but I'm not  sure Harry Potter books, in and of  themselves are *mortal* sin. Sinful yes,  but  I  don't  know that he should be so singleminded about this.

He should  encourage her  to go to Confession *period*. Forget about  her  sins and the nature of them,that's between her and God and her confessor. He should just nudge/encourage confession, regardless of the Harry  Potter thing and let an experienced confessor work out whereher mind is, how to devleopthe relationship as Confessor-- they know more about not alienating people than Dad.

Point is, drop the Harry Potter thing and just focus on getting her to Confession. There's plenty for her to talk about at Confession if she fell away from the Faith, let a priest figure it out.

Confession,yes, good idea. Confession *of what* is none of Dad's business.

Very perceptive, Iuvenalis. Thank you. You're right about dad being "hung up" on
Potter. I think he knows that, too, but it's a challenge. He said the one priest
whom his daughter is considering for a confessor gave a sermon that she did
not hear, denouncing Potter books, saying that it basically comes down to this:  

"I put an object over here, like a box on the floor, and there it is. Now I can move
it, or, I can ask angels to move it. There are two kinds of angels. The good
angels usually don't move things when we ask them to. But the bad angels are
known to be more cooperative, so long as your soul is in the bargain. So a
devil can pick that box up and move it over there. Is that kind of thinking
something you want your children playing around with, even if it's "only a story?"

So dad is a bit gun-shy with just turning her over to him without giving him a
"heads-up" on the Potter issue, since girl is so hyper-sensitive about it. But the
sensitivity is a minefield, for you never know what's going to be upsetting.

True on confession, and letting Potter drop if she is willing to, if not, then something going on, hopefully will ween off. Prior to confession, might be good for her to meet a priest, maybe a 1-1 or dad  and her w/priest....sometimes the cold confesisonal for some of us are fine, those more matured in faith, but wonder about the meeting/dinner thing and if not a good prudent step.....the confessional is a must, tis true and needed ASAP, but I do wonder if not a intimidating thing for her at this stage or not.

You are a convert, she is not but largely in same situation to you when you first came into church, any thoughts? Were you more comfortable in meeting the priest and then confessing, less intimidating? Not trying to get touchy-feely on this, but would hate for her to get turned off this soon into return...

You guys are great.

This is a lot to take in. I'll have to come back after I see him again, which may not
be for a few days. See what he thinks. Then it might take him a while to think on
it too, and a few more days to get back to me, so this could take a while.

As I recall, the daughter brought up Potter voluntarily, and dad thinks that she
trusts him, but doesn't agree with him, something like that. This Potter thing
could be her new way of looking for independence.

If only we could just trust in the grace of the sacrament. It's not a counseling
session (although that's exactly what the Novus Ordo "reconciliation" thing has
become!).



One more thing. Dad has another daughter who confided in him that she had
just had a unique experience. They were in a second hand shop. This was one
day, many years ago. She had been walking by the games section, and there
was a Ouiji board on display with the pointer thingy on top, like it's ready to
use. She paused to look at it, and the pointer started to move. Nobody was
touching it, and there were no strings or setup, or magnets or anything. This is
not a techy display, it's a cheap GoodWill or Salvation Army or whatever. As
she watched, the pointer spelled out the words, "I - w-a-n-t - y-o-u - t-o - ..."
and the girl walked away. Dad told her, he was very pleased that she had
explained this to him, and that she had done the right thing by walking away.

Ouiji boards are not an innocent toy.

 

Though I do like chowder, again, my poro typing skills have popped up

meant "calm and good people"

Dinner a good idea, perhaps, the menu, leave to daughter and dad.... :smile: