Author Topic: Giving inheritance to charity instead of kids? (Read 2754 times)

Matthew · « **on:** June 18, 2012, 11:31:45 AM »

I think it's stupid to not "stick together as a family" and give your children an edge -- if you can -- against the bankers, etc.

So these people work their whole lives, and they're going to force their children to struggle, limit their children (which most people will do), pay on a mortgage (French for "death lock") for decades, etc.?

If a child has "gone astray" or is rejecting you and your beliefs, you can always exclude them. But especially today, it's ridiculously hard (almost impossible) to start with "nothing" and build any meaningful wealth. All the loans the children will have to take out will wipe out a huge chunk of their weekly paychecks.

Inheritance: Some ultra-rich pick charity over kids
By Blake Ellis @CNNMoney June 18, 2012: 7:45 AM ET

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- Tough luck, kiddos: Your rich parents may give the fat inheritance you're expecting to charity instead of to you.

About 32% of high and ultra-high net worth Americans say it isn't important to leave inheritances for their children, according to a report released Monday by U.S. Trust, Bank of America's private wealth management division. Among baby boomers, that percentage rises to about 45%.

The top reason respondents cited for not leaving money to their children was that "each generation should earn its own wealth."

One in four respondents said they would rather give that inheritance to charity, while more than one in four said they worked hard for their money and plan to enjoy it themselves. A small slice, 7%, said they don't think they will have any money left to leave for future generations.

Other reasons people gave were that they need the money to fund their own health care, they would rather invest money in their children while they're growing up, their children will have enough money without an inheritance or they want to use their money "to solve difficult social problems."

And then there are people who will give a little money to their children -- but not their entire estate.

Glenn Walker, a 65-year-old from northern Kansas who took the survey and falls into the high net worth category, said he plans to leave "something" for his two children. But because he and his wife have both worked as teachers for years and want to help the education system, he said most of the money will probably go to scholarship funds at local high schools and colleges.

"They will inherit something, but both children seem to be doing fairly well," said Walker. "And I think they -- and we -- all believe that if you've made your money here in the American system and you love this country, it's okay to share some of that wealth with others outside of your family."

Of the survey respondents who do think it's important to leave an inheritance for their children, most say it's because they feel it's important to preserve their family's wealth and to positively influence the lives of their children after they pass away.

And they have a lot of wealth to decide what to do with. About 37% of the 642 respondents have between $3 million and $5 million in investable assets other than their primary residence, 31% have between $5 million and $10 million, and 32% have at least $10 million. The study classifies people with $3 million or more as high net worth individuals, and those with $10 million or more are considered to be ultra-high net worth.

But even if some respondents are planning on giving their children a chunk of this money, their kids may have no idea how much to expect.

Only 37% of respondents said they fully disclose their wealth to their children. About 12% of all respondents said they haven't disclosed anything about their wealth to their children, and 51% have only disclosed "a little" information to them.

The main motivation behind not telling their kids how rich they are is concern that it would "negatively impact their work ethic." Some respondents also worried that their children would discuss the information publicly, some said they were taught to never discuss wealth, while others said they simply don't
know how to bring it up to their kids.

Walker, however, said he is an exception to this trend. He and his wife consider it extremely important to keep their children involved with all aspects of their financial planning.

"I think sometimes they think we bring it up too much," he said. "But I don't think you should be tricky and hide things about your finances -- they need to be involved and know what's going on."

Matthew · « **Reply #1 on:** June 18, 2012, 11:49:48 AM »

For one thing, I think we've forgotten what true wealth is (State of Grace, children, land).

How can a young couple EVER hope to own land -- even 5 acres -- if their parents don't help them in some way?

It's a fact that passing on land and property to one's children is a custom from time immemorial. It must be part of the Natural Law.

I know what it's like to do it on your own -- let me tell you, the stars all have to line up just right, you have to have lots of hard work, luck, patience, and BOTH spouses have to be great with money and very frugal. Not just frugal after marriage or after stumbling upon Dave Ramsey, but I mean from an early age!

I'm saying your future wife has to do things like buy a new (but sensible) car that comfortably fits 3 children in the backseat, and have it paid off before she meets you, so you can avoid a car payment for the first 5 years of your marriage. And to do that, she obviously can't work at Wal-mart or Target -- she has to make pretty decent money. But not too much, or she won't want to stay home with the kids later on. Oh, and that good job can't come at the cost of an expensive degree, or she'll have student loan baggage, which can be worse than a car payment.

Can I hope that my son will find someone like that? I seriously have my doubts.

I should also point out -- marrying someone from a well-to-do or rich family will backfire, too, because then she'll be used to a higher standard of living. Things you consider "normal" will be a big sacrifice for her.

But 5 acres is nothing. Any REAL amount of land you pretty much have to receive it via inheritance, or not at all. Unless you invent a generator that runs off water and can be sold for $100 each, you're not going to make enough money on your own to purchase 300 acres.

Elizabeth · « **Reply #2 on:** June 18, 2012, 12:59:25 PM »

My siblings and I are deprived of a huge inheritance involving awesome land and etc.

The money will go to PETA (I kid you not) or some such. It is too sickening, but God must have a plan..anyway, the in the 3rd Joyful Mystery we ask for a love of poverty. Anyway, we have very soft lives compared to billions of souls on Earth.

When I recall what my kids are missing, what my Grandparents planned for us--

sedetrad · « **Reply #3 on:** June 18, 2012, 01:59:38 PM »

Quote

PETA

I almost blew coffee on my screen when I saw that. Your parents need many prayers if they are going to give their children's and grandchildren's patrimony to PETA.

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #4 on:** June 18, 2012, 02:10:36 PM »

A lot of this generation see themselves as strictly and purely individuals. The idea of even having an elderly relative live with them, out of necessity, seems bizarre.

Sticking together as a family is a great idea and one that should be encouraged, even preached from the pulpit. I just hope future generations change their ways and remember this.

Sticking together as a family and staying put our foundations for a pretty solid Catholic community too!

Matthew · « **Reply #5 on:** June 18, 2012, 02:34:03 PM »

McQuigg is right -- it's American Individualism at its worst. What happened to a multi-generational view? What happened to family, heritage, and roots?

The same reason people don't care if they have ANY kids. Seems insane to me, but if we're all here "on our own", to enjoy life to the fullest, and give no thought to heritage, etc. why have kids? You don't have enough stress in your life?

Here are some additional reasons why you have people giving their wealth to charity instead of their children:

1. The state confiscates wealth for the Social Security system, which is paid out to the old folks like a pension (not charity), which makes the old folks feel "independent" and they can live on their own. Meanwhile, even though most of the money came from the pockets of young people, it wasn't given to the old people out of charity -- it was a "robin hood" move from the Government.

2. Nowadays we put old folks in a nursing home, rather than a grown son/daughter taking care of them.

200 years ago, you'd never have old folks giving their wealth to PETA and dis-inheriting all their children (with no reason!) because then who would take care of them in their old age?

But, you see, we don't take care of old people any more. We have Social Security and nursing homes.

So it's a multi-faceted issue.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** June 18, 2012, 02:50:38 PM »

Just think of all the bequests that have become dollar signs in the eyes of:

http://mauricepinay.blogspot.com/2012/06/sspx-superior-bp-fellays-lawyerbusiness.html

People who thought the money they gave would be used strictly for the mission of Archbishop Lefebvre.

Traditional Guy 20 · « **Reply #7 on:** June 18, 2012, 03:12:54 PM »

Yes I find the individualism, hedonism, consumerism, etc. of American society just decadent. You know another thing is that this Federal Reserve keeps inflation going making it harder to live these days, so people do shrink their families and give up on taking care of their parents in their old age.

s2srea · « **Reply #8 on:** June 18, 2012, 03:13:15 PM »

Lets not forget that temporal inheritance parallel's spiritual inheritance too. That we have inherited this life of banishment from our first father, Adam and first mother, Eve, is understood by us Christians. Also understood is humanity was regenerated, sanctified, by the Last Adam, our Blessed Lord Jesus Christ, by way of his Blessed Mother, the second Eve, Mary.

For Catholics, this should be instinctive; not only does The Baltimore Catechism explain to us that, by way of the 4th Commandment, parents are not only the spiritual benefactors of their children, but also temporal ones; but I believe that it is easy to see when meditating on God and by seeing the corporal works of mercy played out by the Church, that we are not only the spiritual beneficiaries in God's plan, but temporal ones too; granted, the Church has diminished in her role as aid-giver since Vatican II and the Reformation, as the State has assumed this Role more and more, but we have a plenty of contemporaries who have worked for the Church in this manner up until the 1960s who can, and often do, attest to this.

catherineofsiena · « **Reply #9 on:** June 18, 2012, 04:36:22 PM »

This isn't distinctly an American problem. In Europe, while the elderly are staying in their homes, the care is hired out to Eastern Europeans and other third world immigrants. The drudge work is seen as beneath the natives who retain a subtle social caste system. They strive for higher education and multiple degrees then sit around at home with their aging parents because there aren't enough jobs to go around. I am mostly speaking of Italy, however in other countries the young are refusing to grow up and experience hardship and responsibility. This won't end well.

catherineofsiena · « **Reply #10 on:** June 18, 2012, 04:41:22 PM »

What I forgot to mention is that at its core it is a selfish, self centered narcissism that is a human flaw not kept in check by a spiritual practice.

Traditional Guy 20 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 18, 2012, 04:44:41 PM »

Quote from: catherineofsiena

This isn't distinctly an American problem. In Europe, while the elderly are staying in their homes, the care is hired out to Eastern Europeans and other third world immigrants. The drudge work is seen as beneath the natives who retain a subtle social caste system. They strive for higher education and multiple degrees then sit around at home with their aging parents because there aren't enough jobs to go around. I am mostly speaking of Italy, however in other countries the young are refusing to grow up and experience hardship and responsibility. This won't end well.

You got a good point here. The elderly in Europe are demanding more immigrants while Europeans aren't having enough children. That is why Europe will become Europabad very soon with a Muslim majority.

Elizabeth · « **Reply #12 on:** June 18, 2012, 06:14:15 PM »

Quote from: sedetrad

Quote
PETA

I almost blew coffee on my screen when I saw that. Your parents need many prayers if they are going to give their children's and grandchildren's patrimony to PETA.

My Mom has been dead for decades...it's a classic case of betrayal, loss of Faith and so forth. But yes, the prayers. There have been some small miracles, by God's mercy.

:laugh1:seriously, if we had ever gotten the loving care, the stable home life that the dogs do, we'd have all turned out better!! PETA-can it get any more pathetic???

I look at it as the Vatican-the Dad being held hostage by the forces of darkness

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #13 on:** June 18, 2012, 06:54:57 PM »

Quote from: Elizabeth

My siblings and I are deprived of a huge inheritance involving awesome land and etc.

The money will go to PETA (I kid you not) or some such. It is too sickening, but God must have a plan..anyway, the in the 3rd Joyful Mystery we ask for a love of poverty. Anyway, we have very soft lives compared to billions of souls on Earth.

When I recall what my kids are missing, what my Grandparents planned for us--

My siblings and I as well.

My mother inherited a huge amount of property from her father at the time of his death. My parents divorced in 1976 and my father managed to use my mother's stupidity and vanity to purchase this property from her for the equivalent of 5 diamond rings.

My father remarried in 1977. I have a sister from this relationship. She and I are as close as we can be under the circuмstances.

My father died in 1998. He left the entire estate to my step-mother.

My uncle, my father's brother, recently let it slip that my father didn't want my sister-in-law (my brothers wife) to get anything.

Now my step-mother has remarried. She lives on the farm where my maternal grandfather and his fathers before him sweated and bled to carve out a simple life for their families. According to my sister, my step-mother's new husband is her only beneficiary. If she out lives this her 4th husband, she would rather sell everything to strangers than pass it along to her own daughter. I will get nothing.

It is sickening.

In my husband's case, it was similar. His parents had not one but two lovely homes, one by the lake. Rather than give that to any one of their 6 children, they sold it all and moved to a retirement community where my father in-law died. With all of their assets at the time, even their grandchildren received nothing. My MIL has specifically stated that whatever is left after she dies, she is giving to some fund for senior citizens or something.

Their attitude is "I got mine and you get yours. If you don't, then it's your own fault."

How you can think this is a good thing for your children is beyond me.

But the worst thing to me honestly is that they make you feel like a leach and piranha for even expecting that your own parents my leave you a part of their estate, their legacy. And you are some kind of freak for even getting angry about the injustice of it all.

Again, sickening.

But the spiritual legacy they gave us is worse. Both our father's abandoned their faith for various reasons and our mother's never had any. What a sad, dark reflection of our times!

Matthew · « **Reply #14 on:** June 18, 2012, 07:14:38 PM »

The worst part about cases like this, is that the money could be put to SUCH GOOD USE by giving it to the children -- average Joes who struggle to get by.

Families like yours and mine, that struggle and watch every dollar so that it isn't wasted -- if we came into a "windfall" we wouldn't necessary waste it. We'd spend it on things like better food, some homeschooling materials, maybe a small add-on for the house (large families could use that!) and so forth.