There's no reason why the husband can't do some of them, too. Especially cooking and cleaning... I mean, at least be a responsible adult, keep your house clean and cook your own meals, hahaha.

Same if there's cultural differences. If an Italian man marries a Lebanese woman, somebody's gotta make the pesto!

After joining some extra curricula stuff my ds suddenly became stressed that he didn't know how to cook.   :cry:

I have very strong ideas about men's and women's duties in marriage.  The husband's primary duty is to provide financially for the family.  In these times that might mean multiple jobs.  If he has a good career then he should be spending free time (time not at the job) planning for their retirement by developing investment strategies, managing rental properties, starting a side business for example.  He also must maintain the homestead (maintenance, yard work, etc) and vehicles.  Additionally he is the primary teacher of the children but can delegate to wife if he works outside the home.

I don't believe that husbands should help out wives unless she simply can't get by on her own (post-partum, illness).  Actually, female relatives should come help if she needs it rather than hubby.  I don't think there is anything subversive with him doing dishes once in a blue moon as a gift or favor to her AS LONG AS IT'S HIS IDEA.  

On the contrary boys should be given chores around the house not because mom needs it but to help teach them a work ethic and sacrifice for others.  Chores shouldn't be feminizing or humiliating.

A the middle class protections and days off won by our ancestors are gone for the majority of men. The tradesman that work such long hours aren't doing so to lead luxurious lives. They are doing so to eat and pay bills. It will get much harder as wages are increasingly driven down. It will be a cross that Our Lord sends to families for their sanctification.

There's nothing inherently feminine about cooking; men have to eat too and it's really shameful when a man can't cook anything but ramen noodles, TV dinners, and microwave macaroni and cheese.

The issue is dividing the daily/weekly household duties into those suitable for man and the duties more suitable to women. Husband and wife are each given 24 hours every day, and those hours can only be spent once each.

Men should take care of the interfacing with the rest of the world (including supporting the family). Men also have the primary responsibility for pretty much everything. He has to make sure that everything is running smoothly. Women are more concerned with things domestic; their share of the duties should be in that sphere.

You want to divide up the duties in such a way that a natural man-woman relationship can exist. To try to illustrate, let me give you an example of the opposite of what you want: if the wife earns 100% of the income and the man stays home to take care of the children, that is going to be near-impossible. It's going to warp the natures of both.

But making a big deal about doing a load of dishes or even changing a diaper once in a while seems (to me) to be overcompensating for an insecurity somewhere. Kind of like how some guys aren't secure enough in their manhood to wear a pink shirt once in a while.

In a similar vein, men who really know how to fight -- those who are truly tough -- don't usually go around bragging about it. It's no big deal to them that they can kill with a single punch, deflect and subdue any attacker with their black-belt martial arts skills, etc. It's as natural as breathing for them, and it's such an obvious fact that they don't talk about it a lot.

It's the insecure gangster wimps that have to repeat in a litany over and over how tough and great they are (for example, rap music).

A real man will teach his KIDS to work and do dishes, and just supervise that they get done. And if his kids are gone/sick/etc. and his wife is engaged in some lawful activity, he will do the dishes just because they need to be done, and won't begin producing less testosterone as a result of the experience.

I do think children and men should NOT be slobs, I've seen households where children are not taught to have consideration for their mother.

I've observed a push to get trad men to wash dishes in place of women. Needling and shaming if they demur. It's very bizarre, and makes no sense unless you assume these people are trying to undermine gender roles and view getting a man to wash up as a symbolic victory.

My hypothesis is that the "traditionalist" movement is overrun by liberalism and feminism, as a product of the zeitgeist itself. The majority does adhere to formal Catholic thinking, yet can't break completely the bondage of their indoctrinated forma mentis.  

As proof, as I said several times, the most taboo notion for them is gender inequality, even more so than racial/ethnic differences.

They will just not go there. In fact, ask them how they interpret 1 Corinthians 14:34.


PS: I do agree however that in practice enacting traditional/natural gender roles is de facto impossible in western countries, due to a whole range of reasons, including economical, cultural, legal, utilitarian.
Still, the crux is being opposed to them in principle vs reluctantly accepting the change.