Fr Sean again:
The Urge to Control
Have you ever been a back-seat driver or tried to drive with a back-seat driver in the car? An American bus company’s slogan wisely said: “Leave the driving to us.” It’s frustrating to have someone else telling you how to drive, like Hyacinth with Richard in “Keeping Up Appearances.” There can only be one driver in a vehicle. The rest are passengers. Back-seat drivers have an overriding need to be in control. It has to be their way.
There’s nothing wrong or abnormal with wanting to be in control of our world. Self-control is a characteristic of maturity. Every human being, from conception until death, tries to control reality for himself or herself. The question is not whether we should be in control, rather it’s what and how we can control that will make us successful. Problems arise when we try to control what is beyond us. We fail.
The Gospel from Matthew (21:33-43) outlines a situation where people attempted to gain control over something unsuccessfully. Jesus illustrates this in the Parable of the Tenants. The tenants weren’t satisfied to rent the land to grow grapes, they wanted to possess it for themselves. They killed the owner’s servants when they came to collect his share of the grapes. Then they killed his son in the belief that his death would assure them of full ownership. Their attempt to get control over what wasn’t theirs caused them to lose the source of their livelihood.
The purpose of control is to achieve an end, but the end, if it is obtainable, doesn’t justify the means, especially when the means upends the end. We cannot successfully control God, His Church, or one other. We can try to manipulate them, but we can’t control them. The only person we can have control over is ourselves. We can’t even do that successfully without God’s grace. Without Him we can’t successfully control our sinful nature or fulfill our deepest yearnings.
St. Paul explains what we need to do in order to gain control over our lives. God teaches through him that we must “Dismiss all anxiety from your minds. Present your needs to God in every form of prayer and in petitions full of gratitude. Then God’s own peace which is beyond all understanding, will stand guard over your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-9)
The vineyard tenants were anxious about their security and future. They didn’t want to have to rely on the willingness of the owner to rent his land. They wanted to secure their future. They were led by a spirit of fear and greed instead of a spirit of faith and generosity. They killed the proverbial goose that laid the golden egg because they wanted control over what wasn’t theirs. The irony is that they could have all the gold if they relied on the goose. By killing the goose they destroyed the source of gold.
Is this happening in the Church today with this so-called Synod on Synodality? Are there people in and outside the Church who are trying to wrest control over her from Jesus her Head? Are they, like the vineyard tenants, trying to possess her for themselves so that they can use her to endorse their agendas? They want to make the Church “more welcoming,” “inclusive,” “accompanying,” etc. Typical of controllers, in their urge to control, they use appealing language but give the words their own definition. They ignore that the Church belongs to Jesus. He’s her Head. Reason says that since Jesus is the founder of the Church He is the one to control her, not her leaders or members. It’s Jesus who forms and teaches through His Church and as the Teacher He calls us to listen – hear and heed what He says (Rev 2:29). The key question, ignored by those trying to control the Church, should be, “What does Jesus want His Church to be and do for mankind?” The controller’s question is, “How do we want the Church to endorse our agenda today?” Imagine a child attempting to tell the parent how to raise him or her. The controller always wants things on his terms, not on Jesus’ or His Church’s terms. Jesus and His Church includes, accompanies, and welcomes every man, woman, and child, not on their terms but on God’s terms. It doesn’t take a Synod to tell us what these terms are. Jesus spells them out for all and sundry in the Gospels: “Reform your life, repent and believe in the Gospel” (Mk 1:15) by living the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes. “If you love me,” He said, “keep my commandments” (Jn 14:15) and what will bring you blessings (Beatitudes). That’s what Jesus calls Church leaders to preach and teach because that is what each of us needs to hear and heed. The Synod’s working docuмent never mentions sin and rarely mentions Jesus. Those who try to control the Church simply impose their own sinfulness on her.
When we submit to Jesus, present in His Church, we do things on His terms, not ours. Thus we then gain control over our wayward, self-centered egos, and sinful world. We’re then changed for the better. How? “Your thoughts (become) wholly directed to what is true, all that deserves respect, all that is honest, pure, admirable, decent, virtuous, or worthy of praise.”
To gain control we must commit to the truth that alone sets us free from Satan’s lies. As Catholic Christians we know that Jesus Christ is the truth. Therefore, to be in control we must have a firm commitment to Him. With Christ we can do all things (Phil 4:13); without Him we can do nothing good. We must respect the Church as the means through which Jesus enables us to gain control over our sinfulness. Attempting to control the Church to suit our agendas makes the tenants’ fate our fate. We must be honest in our dealings with ourselves and others and recognize that it is us that must change, not Jesus or His Church. Purity of intention and action keeps us on the road that leads to freedom and security. It eliminates duplicity and arrogance, which are characteristics of Satan. Remember what Jesus said to Peter when Peter tried to control Jesus? “Get behind me, Satan” (Mk 8:33). That’s what He says to those who are trying to change the Church today.
We must continue to ask ourselves whether our intentions are admirable in the eyes of God. Are we committed to decency and virtue in the manner we have chosen to attain security? Is our approach worthy of praise in our home, parish, diocese, or place of work? These questions provide us with a test to see whether our attempts to gain control over our world will succeed or fail. The vineyard tenants didn’t reflect on the truth of what was or wasn’t theirs. Thus they acted disrespectfully, dishonestly, impurely, murderously, indecently, viciously, and unworthily of praise. Like those trying to make a name for themselves attempting to build the Tower of Babel, they ended up in failure.
In closing, Paul tells us that the surest way to success is to “Live according to what you have learned and accepted” about Christ from His Church’s Apostolic Tradition. Then God’s peace will reside in us. We must direct our urge to control by reforming our lives from sinners to saints through the power of the Holy Spirit who guides Jesus’ Church.
Jesus isn’t a back-seat driver – He is the Driver of His Church, not us, in which He teaches us how to drive our lives along the pathway outlined by His Church’s Tradition. He accompanies us if we travel His way. He includes us when we do His will. He welcomes us when we repent and seek His forgiveness. He shows us what we must do to control our life in a manner that doesn’t bring eternal death. Our urge to control must be disciplined with the humble awareness that we must submit to Jesus. In that submission we control events in a manner that brings happiness. A key question this week: "Am I trying to control things in a manner that brings blessings or curses?" (fr sean)
Topic: Forgive So We Can Live and Let Live (Read 1817951 times)