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I am curious are you speaking as a father and husband or as an outside observer?

Creating children is the primary end.  Making them self centered and the center of the family is not.  We are talking about how children are raised.

If the spouses don't like each other or grow a part the marital act that creates children becomes harder and harder to do.

Again you keep making bad assumptions.

woman, just get off the internet

I bow before your infinite wisdom

Finding a spouse requires more retreats like SGG’s YAG, except they only allow strict Non Una cuм Sedevacantists to attend, so I couldn’t even honestly go to that.

I’m not married yet, but from what I’ve observed happy married couples are people who are content to be around each other. It’s not romantic like the movies paint it but there’s just an underlying content in the presence of the other. That’s what I have seen in my parents and now in my brother and his wife, both of whom have good marriages.

I strongly disagree with this. Young adult gatherings are a big part of why traditional Catholic marriages are in pretty bad shape. They foster 'peer-formed' marriages as opposed to marriages fostered by the watchful eyes of the young woman's father and/or the young man's father. The fathers have much more at stake if their children mess up in their choice of spouse as opposed to friends/peers.

I saw an interesting movie a couple of weeks ago called "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". It was about interracial marriage and premiered in 1967 during the civil rights movement. The plot centered around a 23 year old white woman bringing home a black man to her parent's home in San Francisco, CA. They met in Hawaii at a college (long distance from her home and father). They got engaged 10 days after they met. And they were planning on getting married in Europe within a couple of weeks of visiting the family.

The young woman's father even though he was more of a liberal, he was not in favor of this marriage. The entire movie was about the engaged couple earning the "approval" of both sets the parents. I found it interesting how angry the father was about this relationship despite the fact that he:
- Let his daughter go across the sea to hang out in a college atmosphere.
- Probably didn't have much of a relationship with her because of the long distance away from each other.
- Probably did very little if anything  to help her daughter find a spouse.

There was a thread here a couple of months ago about young adult gatherings that I suggest you peruse. I made this comment that showcased exactly what happened in this movie.

Quote from: WaitForTheDawn on May 05, 2026, 03:26:13 PM

The first gathering that comes to mind similar to several posters were speaking about is the YAG in Cincy. I have not attended, so I cannot speak to the level of segregation-by-sex or clique-like groups that takes places at these events. However, I do know several people who have attended and a couple met their spouses there. In this day and age, when there are so few single traditional Catholics at any one traditional chapel, separated by hours of travelling, why would a group gathering of young, single adults set up to be well chaperoned and in accordance with Catholic moral teaching be objectionable? It seems to be one of the more ideal but also realistic situations available to young people today, as many families don't have access at their local parish to suitable suitors for their daughters.

That being said, the YAG in Cincy does require dogmatic sedevacantism, restricting who is able to attend.

Secular people find their spouses out in the world and then eventually bring them home to meet their families. When those who attend the Latin Mass follow similar patterns is it actually traditional? How do we define a traditional Catholic? Surely it can't just be someone who rejects the Novus Ordo on principle and only attends the Latin Mass. What makes us different?

I'm not saying the couples who meet at these events are committing a sin. But I do think it is fair to ask how strong the foundations are. It is similar to asking this same question when we encounter an interracial couple or a marriage where the wife is older than the husband. We can't be afraid to talk about this because some people may take offense. The fact that you know marriages that were formed from the Cincy meet up does not tell us the quality of the marriages.

I know a young man who moved to Cincy a couple of years ago and met his wife at the meet up. They got married last year. I asked the young man how married life was when he was by himself. His answer didn't sound very encouraging.

There was a popular thread on Cathinfo last year. One man surveyed 33 couples at one church and found the wife on average was 1.6 years older than their husbands. Why is this happening? Because the fathers are taking a passive role on getting their daughters married. They are letting their daughters finding the men at these meet ups and then bringing them home for "approval" like secular people. It's not traditional.

https://www.cathinfo.com/members-only/do-men-really-prefer-teen-girls-over-women-in-their-20s/75/