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Offline Gray2023

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Encouraging men
« on: June 09, 2025, 03:13:30 PM »
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    • How do we encourage men in this society that is stacked against them?

    Ok men here is your chance to let the women know what we can do to be helpful.  If you say disappear, I don't think that is the right answer.  Men and women have to work together for a successful society and we need to work together to make it Catholic.

    Oh and Catholic women also need encouragement.  :cowboy:
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    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Offline Geremia

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #1 on: June 09, 2025, 07:11:57 PM »
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    • Quote from: Gray2023 on June 09, 2025, 03:13:30 PM
    How do we encourage men in this society that is stacked against them?
    Inspirational women can do this. We need modern-day versions of Homer's Penelope, the Cappadocian Macrinas, Boethius's Philosophia, and Dante's Beatrice.
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    Offline Gray2023

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #2 on: June 09, 2025, 07:45:04 PM »
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    • Quote from: Geremia on June 09, 2025, 07:11:57 PM
    Inspirational women can do this. We need modern-day versions of Homer's Penelope, the Cappadocian Macrinas, Boethius's Philosophia, and Dante's Beatrice.
    Was there a reason that you did not say modern day versions of biblical women?
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    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Offline Geremia

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #3 on: June 09, 2025, 08:44:31 PM »
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    • Quote from: Gray2023 on June 09, 2025, 07:45:04 PM
    Was there a reason that you did not say modern day versions of biblical women?
    No.
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    Offline AnthonyPadua

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #4 on: June 10, 2025, 01:25:55 AM »
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    • Quote from: Gray2023 on June 09, 2025, 03:13:30 PM
    How do we encourage men in this society that is stacked against them?

    Ok men here is your chance to let the women know what we can do to be helpful.  If you say disappear, I don't think that is the right answer.  Men and women have to work together for a successful society and we need to work together to make it Catholic.

    Oh and Catholic women also need encouragement.  :cowboy:
    There isn't really much to say, men need to work to provide for a family, this is harder now than in the past yet unlike the past modern people are tricked to think that a woman marrying young or marrying an older man is bad because of power imbalance, patriarchy, equality and other nonsense. Patriarchy is literally the order God created, Adam is the head of the Human race, the PATRIARCH.

    As for women I'm also not sure what to say, if the men struggle to provide then you will also struggle with options. There is no easy way for 99% of people, most men are not rich, and those who are are going to pick the girls that tick all their boxes. And even less trad men are rich so yeah.
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    Offline Godefroy

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #5 on: June 10, 2025, 02:36:09 AM »
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    • Quote from: Gray2023 on June 09, 2025, 07:45:04 PM
    Was there a reason that you did not say modern day versions of biblical women?
    Like Eve?

    Adam: "We're in a state of grace, God loves us, we can talk to animals and have everything we need"

    Eve: "There's something not quite right, we need more"
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    Offline brainfreeze

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #6 on: June 10, 2025, 04:55:16 AM »
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    • The sorrow of the father, a foolish son : and roofs continually dropping through, a woman full of brawling. 
    [Proverbs 19:13]


    It is better to sit in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman, and in a common house.
    [Proverbs 21:9]

    It is better to dwell in a desert land, then with a brawling and angry woman.
    [Proverbs 21:19]
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    Offline Gray2023

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #7 on: June 10, 2025, 05:13:09 AM »
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    • Here we go again.  If you continue to encourage women by calling them Eve, then you WILL get Eve.

    Do you want women to be like Eve?  

    Adam liked Eve and didn't want to lose her, so instead of being a good leader, he fell for her charm.

    I understand that the majority of women in the world are like Eve,  and the majority of men are like Adam, but don't you think Catholic women want to be more like Mary and men should encourage them ro do.  Just like women should encourage men to be like Jesus or Joseph, or Peter, or Paul.  

    It does not encourage men, if I throw Adam in their face.  It is like I am saying "well man, there is no hope for you because Adam let the whole human race down."
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    Offline AMDGJMJ

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #8 on: June 10, 2025, 06:54:55 AM »
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    • Getting back on topic...

    My husband often tells me that some of the biggest things that help encourage men are:

    #1.  Show them respect...  Men like to know that those around them have confidence in them and trust them.

    #2.  Let them be independent...  Men like to have their freedom to come and go as they please and not have to report everything to a wife or mother.

    #3.  Small pleasures... Men appreciate well-cooked meals, having their laundry kept tidy, and having other things done for them that those who live with them know they like for them.

    #4.  Down time...  Most men like to have some time to themselves to read, study and just think.
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    Offline 2Vermont

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #9 on: June 10, 2025, 06:58:51 AM »
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    • Quote from: AMDGJMJ on June 10, 2025, 06:54:55 AM
    Getting back on topic...

    My husband often tells me that some of the biggest things that help encourage men are:

    #1.  Show them respect...  Men like to know that those around them have confidence in them and trust them.

    #2.  Let them be independent...  Men like to have their freedom to come and go as they please and not have to report everything to a wife or mother.

    #3.  Small pleasures... Men appreciate well-cooked meals, having their laundry kept tidy, and having other things done for them that those who live with them know they like for them.

    #4.  Down time...  Most men like to have some time to themselves to read, study and just think.
    Good post.  I think this shows that we can encourage each other one-by-one because we have some control over our individual behaviors.  It is much harder to do things on a societal level.
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    Offline AMDGJMJ

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #10 on: June 10, 2025, 07:00:28 AM »
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    • Quote from: 2Vermont on June 10, 2025, 06:58:51 AM
    Good post.  I think this shows that we can encourage each other one-by-one because we have some control over our individual behaviors.  It is much harder to do things on a societal level.
    Very true!  :pray: :cowboy:
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    Offline Gray2023

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #11 on: June 10, 2025, 07:07:45 AM »
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    • Quote from: AMDGJMJ on June 10, 2025, 06:54:55 AM
    Getting back on topic...

    My husband often tells me that some of the biggest things that help encourage men are:

    #1.  Show them respect...  Men like to know that those around them have confidence in them and trust them.

    #2.  Let them be independent...  Men like to have their freedom to come and go as they please and not have to report everything to a wife or mother.

    #3.  Small pleasures... Men appreciate well-cooked meals, having their laundry kept tidy, and having other things done for them that those who live with them know they like for them.

    #4.  Down time...  Most men like to have some time to themselves to read, study and just think.
    Good list.  Do you have for women?
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    Offline TheRealMcCoy

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #12 on: June 10, 2025, 09:03:56 AM »
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    • Quote from: AMDGJMJ on June 10, 2025, 06:54:55 AM
    Getting back on topic...

    My husband often tells me that some of the biggest things that help encourage men are:

    #1.  Show them respect...  Men like to know that those around them have confidence in them and trust them.

    #2.  Let them be independent...  Men like to have their freedom to come and go as they please and not have to report everything to a wife or mother.

    #3.  Small pleasures... Men appreciate well-cooked meals, having their laundry kept tidy, and having other things done for them that those who live with them know they like for them.

    #4.  Down time...  Most men like to have some time to themselves to read, study and just think.
    These are excellent.  I would also add:

    #5  Accept his decisions... Don't nag or countermand if he makes a decision you disagree with.  This is your best opportunity to demonstrate meekness and acknowledge he is THE head of the family.  Keep your mouth shut and keep custody of your rolling eyes.  Especially in front of the kids.

    #6  Be humble... Don't assume that you are more holy or pious than him.  Many women mistake femininity for piety.  Masculine holiness is more active and task oriented.  Husbands are not monks who pray all day long. 

    #7  Let him develop you... Wives are meant to bend to the will and tastes of their husbands, not the other way around.  If he gives suggestions or hints as to fashion, hobbies, or behavior that he likes....do it without debate.  And lest you try to rationalize your refusal by claiming it's sinful....as your priest. 

    #8  Stop trying to "model" behavior to him...Women can be very sneaky in their attempts to control their husbands.  One of the worst is "modeling" the behavior that you desire.  And then pointing out to your husband how nice or great it was.  Jezebel spirit right there.  Also known as "manifesting", a clearly unChristian philosophy.

    #9  Value his good opinion over others...Oops, another area where wives frequently fail is caring more for the opinion of family, friends, and even strangers on social media than what your husband thinks.  Worse still, are the "survey takers" who use these outside opinions to prove to their husbands that they are wrong.

    #10  Be grateful that you have a husband...You do realize that he will pass from this earth into eternity someday, right?  It might be today.  Have you mediated on what raising all those kids without him would be like?  Of course you can easily pick up a job that will support 5-10 kids on your paycheck so no worries.  Leaking roof....just watch a YouTube video for quick fixes.  House caught on fire...just catch the kids as they jump out the windows.  You got this girl!
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    Offline Gray2023

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #13 on: June 10, 2025, 10:01:10 AM »
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    • Quote from: TheRealMcCoy on June 10, 2025, 09:03:56 AM
    These are excellent.  I would also add:

    #5  Accept his decisions... Don't nag or countermand if he makes a decision you disagree with.  This is your best opportunity to demonstrate meekness and acknowledge he is THE head of the family.  Keep your mouth shut and keep custody of your rolling eyes.  Especially in front of the kids.

    #6  Be humble... Don't assume that you are more holy or pious than him.  Many women mistake femininity for piety.  Masculine holiness is more active and task oriented.  Husbands are not monks who pray all day long. 

    #7  Let him develop you... Wives are meant to bend to the will and tastes of their husbands, not the other way around.  If he gives suggestions or hints as to fashion, hobbies, or behavior that he likes....do it without debate.  And lest you try to rationalize your refusal by claiming it's sinful....as your priest. 

    #8  Stop trying to "model" behavior to him...Women can be very sneaky in their attempts to control their husbands.  One of the worst is "modeling" the behavior that you desire.  And then pointing out to your husband how nice or great it was.  Jezebel spirit right there.  Also known as "manifesting", a clearly unChristian philosophy.

    #9  Value his good opinion over others...Oops, another area where wives frequently fail is caring more for the opinion of family, friends, and even strangers on social media than what your husband thinks.  Worse still, are the "survey takers" who use these outside opinions to prove to their husbands that they are wrong.

    #10  Be grateful that you have a husband...You do realize that he will pass from this earth into eternity someday, right?  It might be today.  Have you mediated on what raising all those kids without him would be like?  Of course you can easily pick up a job that will support 5-10 kids on your paycheck so no worries.  Leaking roof....just watch a YouTube video for quick fixes.  House caught on fire...just catch the kids as they jump out the windows.  You got this girl!
    These are good, too.
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    Offline moneil

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    Re: Encouraging men
    « Reply #14 on: June 10, 2025, 10:57:20 AM »
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    • Quote from: TheRealMcCoy on June 10, 2025, 09:03:56 AM
    These are excellent.  I would also add:

    #10  Be grateful that you have a husband...You do realize that he will pass from this earth into eternity someday, right?  It might be today.  Have you mediated on what raising all those kids without him would be like?  Of course you can easily pick up a job that will support 5-10 kids on your paycheck so no worries.  Leaking roof....just watch a YouTube video for quick fixes.  House caught on fire...just catch the kids as they jump out the windows.  You got this girl!
    I'm replying to this from the context of turning 74 this month, going through my various retirement and savings accounts, and my mother being widowed at a younger age.

    My father was killed in an accident in 1965.  I was 14 with two younger siblings, mom was 40.  We had moved from Seattle to eastern Washington in 1955 where dad developed a farm from raw ground in the Columbia Basin Irrigation project.  Dad had been raised on a dry land wheat farm but used the WWII GI bill to get an accounting degree and pass his boards to become a CPA.  He then decided to farm :-).  When dad died mom choose to keep the farm and operate it rather than sell it.  While being self-employed has certain flexibility advantages over paycheck employment, it was a challenge for her.  I remember that she took a night bookkeeping class at the local community college just so she could understand things.  Dad, being a CPA, kept a sophisticated set of books.  She was able to be more available as a mother than if she had been tied down to a 8-5 job.

    In my early thirties I joined the Knights of Columbus (I know that's not "politically correct" here, please bear with me).  I am now discovering that my KC whole life insurance policy ($100k, which was a lot back then) is one of the best investment decisions I've inadvertently made, I'm not one to worry much about those things.  It wasn't God's plan for me to be married and have children, with a responsibility to provide for them.  As I have no children to care for me if and when I can't, I also had a responsibility to plan for that also.  I no longer need the life insurance protection for a family if I were to die young, but now the KC policy can be flipped into an annuity that will pay $900 per month as long as I live.  Together with Social Security, part time work for awhile, some other savings, and a garden, those should keep me off the street and in groceries.
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