Author Topic: Duties of Husband and Wife (Read 75 times)

Maria Dolorosa · « **on:** **Yesterday** at 10:51:25 PM »

Bishop George Hay on the duties of husband and wife, from his book "The Devout Christian", p. 194-199

https://archive.org/details/worksofbishophay04hayuoft/page/n205/mode/2up

These passages were enjoyable for me to read, and I wished to share. I like his writings because he was quite a learned, well regarded Scottish Catholic Bishop, and cites the Scriptures constantly in his books. He remarked that he did so because he personally noticed in his labours for souls, that people were more convinced of Catholic truths by referencing Scripture as a means to prove them. The prelate also fought vigorously against the error of invincible ignorance being a means of salvation.

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The second class of duties necessary for promoting the happiness of the married state, contains the part which the husband ought to act, and consists in exercising the authority which God has given him, in the manner which the law of God requires. In every community, when those who have authority use it with discretion and mildness, those who are subject cheerfully obey, and peace and concord reign: but wherever superiors exceed the limits of their authority, or exercise it with harshness and severity, the worst consequences follow. This observation is justly applicable to husband and wife.

By the law of God the husband is head of the wife, and has authority over her; but this authority is given for their common good, and must be exercised according to God's law. We cannot have a better idea of the nature of this authority, than from the example of Jesus Christ towards His Church " The husband," says St Paul, " is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church." And therefore the way that Christ exercises His authority over His Church is the best model of the way that husbands ought to act towards their wives. Now we find throughout the whole Scripture, that Jesus Christ is always represented as governing His Church with meekness, sweetness, and love, and abundantly supplying her with all necessaries for her welfare.

Sometimes we see Him, as a skilful and wise physician, treating her infirmities with compassion and tenderness; sometimes, as an indulgent father, bearing with the imperfections of His children; sometimes, like the good Samaritan, by the most charitable beneficence gaining the hearts even of His enemies. Such also ought to be the conduct of husbands to their wives; with compassion and tenderness endeavouring to conceal their failings; like an indulgent parent, bearing with their infirmities of temper; and in all cases showing that a tender love and real desire for their good is the only motive of their conduct.

The husband, then, must remember that his authority over his wife is not that of a master over slaves, nor even that of a father over his children; but is the authority which the head has over the members of the body, or which Christ has over His Church; consequently he has no right to maltreat, abuse, or to show aversion and bitterness towards her, either in words or actions.

Hence the Scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them," Col. iii. 19. St Peter enforces this duty by two strong reasons: "Ye husbands likewise give honour to the weaker vessel, and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." Consider that God has given you superiority over them, not only in authority, but also in fortitude and strength of mind, in knowledge and other respects, and therefore you ought to honour them as the weaker vessels, by a more tender love and greater condescension for them, remembering also that they are co-heirs with you of eternal life; besides that otherwise, if you treat them with harshness, your prayers will not be heard of God; for if you show not the necessary compassion towards the wife of your bosom, how can you expect that God will show mercy to you?

This last argument is strongly urged by God Himself, as recorded by His prophet: "I have no more a regard to sacrifice, neither do I accept any atonement at your hands. And you have said, For what cause? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, whom thou hast despised; yet she was thy partner, and the wife of thy covenant. Did not one make her, and she is the residue of His spirit? And what doth one seek but the seed of God? Keep then your spirit, and despise not the wife 'of your youth," Mai. ii. 13.

To this we may add, that the faults of the husband in this point are often the chief source of the unhappiness attending the married state; especially if to this be joined neglect of providing for his family, and squandering his time and money in idleness, gaming, or drinking, while his wife and children are left in poverty and suffering. This is a most heinous crime; for "If any man have not care of his own, and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.' i Tim. v. 8.

3. The third class of duties regards the wife, and requires that she should behave to her husband with respect, obedience, and deference. If it be the husband's duty not to exceed the bounds of his authority, but to exercise it with lenity and discretion, it is no less the duty of the wife to respect his authority, and submit to it with cheerful obedience. This the very nature of subordination requires, and the model proposed to wives for the exercise of this duty is the Church of Christ; that therefore they should consider their husband's authority as coming from God Himself, and behave with submission to him on that account, as to the Lord. "Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord; ... as the Church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things," Eph. v. 22.

Now the Church obeys her heavenly spouse, not from servile fear, as slaves obey their masters, but from love and affection. She fears Him, indeed, she respects Him as her Lord and her God, a God of infinite majesty; but the grand motive of her obedience is ardent love. This makes her cheerfully submit to His commands, endeavour in all things to please Him, and spare no pains to promote His honour and glory. In like manner ought the wife to behave towards her husband; she must respect and honour him. "Let the wife fear her husband," says the Word of God, Eph. v. 33. She must readily comply with his will and lawful commands; she must study to please, and make everything agreeable to him.

"Let the wives be subject to their husbands," says St Peter; " whose adorning, let it not be in the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel; but in the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters you are, doing well, and not fearing any disturbance," i Pet. iii. i. Where we see that wives must not be extravagant in expensive dress and gaudy attire, but study to adorn their hearts with a quiet and meek spirit, yielding obedience and respect to their husbands in words as well as in acts. Instead of squandering their husbands' goods, they must apply with diligence to the care of their affairs, managing and improving their temporal concerns to the best of their power.

This is their office; in this they are properly a help to their husbands, by taking care of things at home, while the husband is providing for them and their families by his labour abroad. Hence the Scriptures say of a good wife, " The heart of her husband trusteth in her, and he shall have no need of spoils; she will render him good and not evil all the days of her life," Prov. xxxi. 11. See that whole chapter.

Maria Auxiliadora · « **Reply #1 on:** **Today** at 05:12:31 AM »

Thank you for posting. Beautifully explained by the bishop. It can be summarized on the Marriage Vows: Honor and Obey/ Love and Charish.

Tisas · « **Reply #2 on:** **Today** at 06:46:30 AM »

Man was created to serve God. Woman was created to serve man. The only way woman serves and gorifies God is by serving man. Woman was created from man's rib. Consider the ontological reality of Logos. There are no female Persons in the Holy Trinity - One God. There are only male Persons - The Father and Son (and Holy Ghost). This is a strong argument for man being created in the image of God but woman was created in the image of man. Man's understanding of the nature of woman and heirarchy in the natural order should be based solely on the ontology of the Father and Son, but the natural order has been inverted to the detriment of man and woman due to women being given unjust liberties and privileges against God's design for her. The only reason woman was created by God was to bear man's children, especially sons, so his posterity may continue to serve God for His greater glory. Sons help build and defend the Social Reign of Christ while daughters, in the future, are to birth sons and nurture them into adulthood so they may serve and glorify Our Lord. The cycle repeats. That's the only way woman serves and glorifies God. If she doesn't serve man, she doesn't serve God, with rare exceptions where a woman can't bear children, therefore, she must be relegated to serving man in other ways and/or dedicate her life to God through prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

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Author Topic: Duties of Husband and Wife (Read 75 times)

Maria Dolorosa

Duties of Husband and Wife

Maria Auxiliadora

Re: Duties of Husband and Wife

Tisas

Re: Duties of Husband and Wife