Author Topic: Dress modestly, you Catholic girls! (Read 1857 times)

PartyIsOver221 · « **on:** March 31, 2011, 04:19:53 PM »

Saw this on spiritdaily, and I thought it would be a prudent public service announcement on here again.

All you young women out there, dress with decorum and not a hint of this world because you may be the cause of someone's loss of salvation one day.

http://catholicexchange.com/2011/03/28/150462/print/

Jitpring · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2011, 07:07:07 PM »

"The first dart that wounds and frequently robs chaste souls of life finds admission through the eyes."

-St. Alphonsus Liguori, here:

http://www.saintsworks.net/Modesty%20and%20Purity%20-%20St.%20Alphonsus%20Maria%20de%20Liguori%20-%20Modesty%20of%20the%20Eyes.html

Jehanne · « **Reply #2 on:** April 01, 2011, 07:30:02 AM »

To an extent, it is easier said than done. I think that a lot women's fashions are vulgar, but as a man, you simply get used to it, and after awhile, you just ignore it. It becomes a "blind spot." And, then, when the modestly dressed woman in a long, flowing skirt with a modest blouse appears on the scene, you cannot help but notice, as does everyone else. What was once modest and commonplace has now become provocative and rare.

For me, a better line of argument would be to say that objective moral values exist, therefore, women should dress modestly and in traditional women's clothing appropriate to the gender, because such is a divine law.

MrsZ · « **Reply #3 on:** April 01, 2011, 08:28:08 AM »

Quote from: Jehanne

To an extent, it is easier said than done. I think that a lot women's fashions are vulgar, but as a man, you simply get used to it, and after awhile, you just ignore it. It becomes a "blind spot." And, then, when the modestly dressed woman in a long, flowing skirt with a modest blouse appears on the scene, you cannot help but notice, as does everyone else. What was once modest and commonplace has now become provocative and rare.

For me, a better line of argument would be to say that objective moral values exist, therefore, women should dress modestly and in traditional women's clothing appropriate to the gender, because such is a divine law.

But using that description, I personally, would feel more comfortable "blending in" in typical 21st century attire: jeans (loose fitting) and loose fitting t-shirt / sweater, so that I'd blend in and not "provoke." If wearing modest feminine clothing is now provocative because it's so out of the ordinary, I'll choose invisible anytime. Oh wait, I'm over 40 ... I'm invisible anyway! :wink:

EDITED: Oops, sorry, I mistakenly responded to a post addressed to "GIRLS." Please pardon my error!

s2srea · « **Reply #4 on:** April 01, 2011, 08:41:12 AM »

Jehanne and MrsZ - I believe you're both right. Jehanne- It is beautiful and refreshing to see a young girl or lady dressed modestly. Its a head turner. Finally, I sometimes think to myself, someone isn't trying to get my attention with their skin!

MrsZ, I totally agree with you that some times, its easier to blend in and comfortable in many situations in this day and age. Not that we're giving into our morals or ideals, but we aren't here to battle every single second with people or be outcasts. Many times, we need not stand out- the most important one we should stand out for is Christ- and he see us i'm sure either when we're provocative to others or otherwise :)

Jehanne · « **Reply #5 on:** April 01, 2011, 09:35:14 AM »

Quote from: MrsZ

Quote from: Jehanne
To an extent, it is easier said than done. I think that a lot women's fashions are vulgar, but as a man, you simply get used to it, and after awhile, you just ignore it. It becomes a "blind spot." And, then, when the modestly dressed woman in a long, flowing skirt with a modest blouse appears on the scene, you cannot help but notice, as does everyone else. What was once modest and commonplace has now become provocative and rare.

For me, a better line of argument would be to say that objective moral values exist, therefore, women should dress modestly and in traditional women's clothing appropriate to the gender, because such is a divine law.

But using that description, I personally, would feel more comfortable "blending in" in typical 21st century attire: jeans (loose fitting) and loose fitting t-shirt / sweater, so that I'd blend in and not "provoke." If wearing modest feminine clothing is now provocative because it's so out of the ordinary, I'll choose invisible anytime. Oh wait, I'm over 40 ... I'm invisible anyway! :wink:

EDITED: Oops, sorry, I mistakenly responded to a post addressed to "GIRLS." Please pardon my error!

I guess it's a question if one wants to choose adherence to divine law as opposed to "fitting it." I am not a woman, so I am going to pursue this much further. I realize that it's difficult, if not "impossible," (the commandments of God are, of course, not impossible for us to fulfill) for some women to observe traditional women's clothing all the time or nearly so. One need look no further than the nearest junior high school to see that. In spite of those obstacles, a woman could (and should) at least hold to it as being a theological principal.

MrsZ · « **Reply #6 on:** April 01, 2011, 10:07:11 AM »

I agree with the theological principle. However, we live in a small town, 300 miles from the nearest traditional parish, and have only the novus ordo mass to attend. We know no other traditional Catholics and spend 100% of our lives surrounded by either novus ordo Catholics (at Mass), or secular worldlings. Among women, 99% don't wear skirts and dresses on a regular basis, even at Mass. I tried living a life is isolation and keeping back from those non believers for over a decade.

Then our children reached their teen years (having had no Catholic friends ... and ultimately for our daugther, no friends for several years) ... Our son began working, going to college ... and he has yet to meet any serious Protestants, let alone Catholics.

I've discovered that hiding from the world in this town in this parish has done no good .. and looking vastly different than everyone else is only going to keep us in isolation .. not working for evangelization.

I've come to the conclusion that God has willed that we continue living in this environment, prayers on my part notwithstanding and I have to find a way to be in this place but not of it. The fact is I have tried wearing skirts exclusively for months on end, several times, over the years .. and never overcame the feeling of standing out like a sore thumb. What good is it doing for the Faith for others to think of us as self righteous weirdos?

I suspect that most ladies here who have succeeded at full time skirts and dresses are those who regularly attend traditional parishes and have friends who believe the same as they do.

NOTE: I agree that all women should dress modestly. Either for the attractive, to avoid being a stumbling block to others, or if older/ not attractive, for decencies' sake and to obey God in dress and manner. I don't dress immodestly. I wear loose fitting jeans and modest tops. I wear skirts to Mass, always. My H hates jean, or extra long skirts.

Jehanne · « **Reply #7 on:** April 01, 2011, 10:51:11 AM »

In my view, you are not a sinner; you are simply doing the best that you can do. The fact is that you have tried and are trying to live a traditional Catholic lifestyle the best you can, and in the end, holding to one's theological principals is the most important thing, as the saying goes, "Better to be a sinner than a heretic."

My wife, by the way, suffers in the same dilemma that you do, which is why she almost exclusively wears pants. I do, however, insist, absolutely, on skirts/dresses for Mass.

Jitpring · « **Reply #8 on:** April 01, 2011, 11:50:14 AM »

Quote from: MrsZ

EDITED: Oops, sorry, I mistakenly responded to a post addressed to "GIRLS." Please pardon my error!

Yes, today's widespread practice of referring to women as girls is interesting. It's a small indication of just how mired in permanent adolescence, and indeed puerility, we really are.

MrsZ · « **Reply #9 on:** April 01, 2011, 12:33:56 PM »

Quote from: Jitpring

Quote from: MrsZ

EDITED: Oops, sorry, I mistakenly responded to a post addressed to "GIRLS." Please pardon my error!

Yes, today's widespread practice of referring to women as girls is interesting. It's a small indication of just how mired in permanent adolescence, and indeed puerility, we really are.

Actually, I realized that the post was addressed to girls and that the subsequent link and posting and article were, in fact, about girls still under the care and guidance of their mothers. I do not typically find myself referring to myself or answering to the name "girl."

MrsZ · « **Reply #10 on:** April 01, 2011, 12:35:26 PM »

Quote from: PartyIsOver221

Saw this on spiritdaily, and I thought it would be a prudent public service announcement on here again.

All you young women out there, dress with decorum and not a hint of this world because you may be the cause of someone's loss of salvation one day.

http://catholicexchange.com/2011/03/28/150462/print/

Thank you for this link .. and I also read the article it refers to from The National Review. It's very good.

PartyIsOver221 · « **Reply #11 on:** April 02, 2011, 06:53:16 AM »

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

I did not try to belittle or denigrate women by the reference to "girls." I was simply using the terms from the article, and also wanted to somewhat delineate what age group/marriage vocation-seeking population I was talking about.

I'm sure married women out there dress disturbingly immodest, but the fact that some women (girls like under age 28 seeking marriage) dress with fashions tending to current worldly trends , is what saddens me. It really confuses a lot of ready Catholic males in finding someone who is really of the Faith, who wants to be a warrior for Catholic principles and the Commandments , at the very least.

If I see a girl wearing a miniskirt/short skirt, makeup and revealing footwear to match it all, is the first impression "Oh she is probably a really good Catholic!" . Unfortunately, it isnt. I understand that I can never judge truly where someone is based on their attire (maybe thats all they really have to wear?) but with the clock ticking to make a big trad family, one must go on external cues in order to "filter" out the ones who could potentially pose faith-hazards to future children that God may bless a married couple with.

Darcy · « **Reply #12 on:** April 02, 2011, 12:53:04 PM »

I would like to ask if anyone knows, if young girls are to wear modest clothing, where to find them?

MaterDominici · « **Reply #13 on:** April 02, 2011, 11:11:09 PM »

Quote from: Darcy

I would like to ask if anyone knows, if young girls are to wear modest clothing, where to find them?

Modest clothing can be found. Where depends on the age of the girl and wether you have a lot, a little, or next to no money to spend on purchasing clothing.

The internet is a good place to shop if you can afford to buy new items. Just google modest clothing and you'll find options.

In major retailers, I think you'll have more luck in finding modest clothing if you look for seperate tops & skirts rather than looking for dresses which are completely modest.

ora pro me · « **Reply #14 on:** April 03, 2011, 01:11:18 AM »

We raised our kids mostly on 2nd hand purchasing at thrift shops and yard sales and hand-me-downs from relatives. Our grandkids are now being raised the same way. Our girls learned to be quite creative with adding material to the bottom of skirts that were too short or adding sleeves, or layering with vests, sweaters or feminine jackets.

Dads, you have as much if not even more influence on your daughters' modesty as mom. When Dad tells his daughter to go right back upstairs and find something more modest, it makes a huge point with his daughter, no matter what age! She may pout, but she'll learn and she'll be grateful to you later, if not then, and she will respect you more.

Parents: Do Not be afraid of THROWING clothes in the TRASH if they are not modest and if they can't be altered to make them modest. Even daughters that are usually good can be tempted to wear something to a friend's house etc. that is not up to your standards or the friends may hand clothes "down" to your daughter that don't meet your standards.

"If in doubt, throw it out" works for left-over food as well as immodest clothes.