Author Topic: dowries in the modern world (Read 1060 times)

jman123 · « **on:** August 26, 2013, 08:39:59 AM »

Is the practice of giving a dowry for a wife a good practice? What do you think of the practice?

inprincipio · « **Reply #1 on:** August 26, 2013, 09:14:41 AM »

What century are we talking about?

Telesphorus · « **Reply #2 on:** August 26, 2013, 10:23:25 AM »

If parents intend to leave their wealth to their children then it stands to reason it makes more sense to give it to them when they are best able to use it than to wait until after they are dead.

The dowry is such an institution, and it certainly made very good sense in the days of primogeniture, since the daughter was becoming a member of another family and would not receive an inheritance.

Matthew · « **Reply #3 on:** August 26, 2013, 04:23:42 PM »

Quote from: jman123

Is the practice of giving a dowry for a wife a good practice? What do you think of the practice?

Maybe it's what we're missing in the Modern World.

Look at all the young men today who are having a hard time getting established enough to start a Catholic family.

With a bit of financial assistance from his parents/the bride's parents, Catholics could marry that much younger -- which, when you look at the average marriage age today, seems sorely needed.

Frugality only gets you so far. It can do a lot of things; don't get me wrong. Clothing, furniture, etc. you can get for very, very cheap. But you can't get a free house or land on the Free section of Craigslist. You can't "stack" coupons to get $200 worth of utilities for $20. You can't "coupon" your way to reducing your yearly Property Tax bill from $2000 to $200. If only! :)

Matto · « **Reply #4 on:** August 26, 2013, 04:27:33 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

But you can't get a free house or land on the Free section of Craigslist.

If you are willing to move to Detroit you can get a house for close to free, but then you are likely to be robbed and murdered.

Matthew · « **Reply #5 on:** August 26, 2013, 04:28:53 PM »

One problem is, many Catholics don't have a lot of "wealth".

All we have is a bunch of baby clothes & equipment, homeschooling books, and a house/land.

I can't give away the land to my children; it's not practical or possible. On the street I live, the tracts are not sub-dividable. I'm not going to sell the "family estate" or headquarters and move into an apartment, either. There's something to be said for having a homestead or established home base for the family. Many families lack this center of unity today.

I'd rather help my kids out in other ways -- let them stay here during hard times, put up a trailer on the land for a while, etc. Or maybe one of them can help take care of us in our old age, and get free room & board as a result.

When I get older, the stuff we don't need we want to give to our children. But the house and land pretty much has to stay ours. And unfortunately that's 98% of our "wealth".

Ideally we'd have more wealth saved up, but remember we also started out in this modern world with zero. Considering the messed-up nature of the modern world, it requires extreme effort just to get by, nevermind get ahead.

Frances · « **Reply #6 on:** August 26, 2013, 06:15:23 PM »

:dancing-banana:
It wasn't called a "dowry," but a female relative was given a very substantial sum by her parents when she married. The couple foolishly used it up on an outrageously lavish wedding and honeymoon. Instead of buying their house, they mortgaged it. In 2009, they lost it. The marriage ended in divorce. He took off and she lives in her parents' basement with their two daughters.
Dowries are a lost concept just like marriage. If parents wish to help 'adult' children, they should make sure the children are actually adults. Traditionally, they were for a woman to successfully move to her husband's household and take up her role as wife and mother. If a woman did not marry, her dowry went towards her upkeep in religion, and served to provide in case she turned out to not have a vocation or became ill or an usual expense to the convent. How many couples would use it correctly? How many young women become religious? Very few! In today's world, the money that would have been for a dowry gets used for college by both daughters and sons in the belief that it will result in a good paying job that will eventually benefit the parents in their old age. No more!

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #7 on:** August 26, 2013, 06:27:32 PM »

Four horses and a goat? :smile: