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I did not realise the other thread was in the library.

I read the title and I understand you are just talking about dating/courting couples.  Is that right?

I always look at the bigger picture and was wondering if it is different when hugs and kisses are cultural ways of saying goodbye?  Maybe someone else reading this gets stuck on this topic and feels all hugs between male and female who are not related is sinful.  I did read some of the original post, but the way it is written makes my brain shut off.  Maybe someone can summarize it more simply?

Claude summary so take it with the same grain of salt you would any AI thing:

The basic framework

• Touching or kissing someone's genitals ("shameful parts") for no legitimate reason is treated as mortal sin — full stop, regardless of intent — because of how indecent and arousal-inducing it is.
• Touching or kissing on "less scandalous" body parts (arms, face, hands, etc.) is judged by intent: if done for sɛҳuąƖ pleasure, it's mortal; if done out of idle curiosity or playfulness, it's venial; if it's just normal social/cultural affection (a greeting kiss, holding hands out of courtesy), no sin at all.

On engaged couples specifically
A big chunk of the text is a literature review on whether people who are engaged to be married can kiss, hold hands, embrace, etc. The consensus among the many authors cited (Sánchez, Cajetan, and dozens of others) is: yes, chaste affection (ordinary kisses, hand-holding, hugs, etc.) is fine as a sign of love; doing it purely for pleasure is a minor sin; genital contact is obviously off-limits . The author is basically defending this "common opinion" against a few stricter theologians (Roncaglia, Mendo) who found it hard to justify, by pointing out how many respected authorities agree.

There's also a long practical note to confessors: don't be so strict that you terrify people into thinking normal, harmless affection is a mortal sin — that kind of overreach backfires and can push people toward genuinely worse behavior once they feel they're a lost cause anyway.

The numbered "resolutions" at the end (practical case rulings)

• Parents/caregivers kissing infants — fine.
• Kids embracing during games, no bad intent — not sinful (though maybe discouraged as risky).
• Kissing in unusual ways (open-mouth, lingering, chest, etc.) between men and women — treated as mortal.
• Touching yourself to clean or scratch — fine; doing it idly/out of curiosity — minor at most.
• Touching someone's genitals of the same sex — usually mortal, unless brief/playful.
• Touching someone's genitals of a different sex — essentially always mortal (except things like a nurse changing a child, done without lingering).
• A quick, casual touch of hand/face with no bad intent — minor at most.

The final note tells confessors to be careful and not over-scrupulous, since being too harsh about ambiguous cases can create unnecessary guilt and anxiety in penitents.