Author Topic: dealing with hostile family members (Read 3269 times)

Elizabeth · « **Reply #5 on:** October 26, 2012, 04:41:02 PM »

With family, every chance you get, return good for evil. Over and over. God gave us our families for a reason. Most of the people in prison don't really have families. Our family members will all need someone when they are dying, if possible let it be you with a good priest.

Stephen Francis · « **Reply #6 on:** October 26, 2012, 08:49:12 PM »

+JMJ+

As has been mentioned, humility is the key. THE key. I cannot stress that enough. When dealing with others, esp. those who are family and yet unconvinced of your right to live as God enjoins you, you MUST do all diligence to cultivate a simple, straightforward and humble conversational style that will allow others to both hear your words in a non-combative way AND understand that you will not sway from your convictions.

The reason (or at least some of the reason) for the apparent failures of committed Catholic homeschoolers to raise well-adjusted and competent children is simply this:

You CANNOT raise a child to be a faithful Catholic adult if you are going to allow them to be inculcated by the world at large when they reach age 18. I have seen too many parents who believe that their children became 'adults' at 18 just because the US government SAYS that 18 is the age at which they can vote and be drafted. Those parents sent their CHILDREN (and 18 is barely more than a child these days) out into the 'dating' world, the 'go to college 1000 miles from home without your family around' world and the 'go get a secular job and spend more time with work and with non-Christian co-workers than you do with Our Lord and receiving the Sacraments' world.

You can guess what happens in those instances.

Basically, if you want to raise a child and educate and train them at home, don't expect that the world NOW will understand, and don't expect that the world 20 years from now will like your choices or your children any better when they have spent all those years being shielded from the filth of society AND being nourished by the Sacraments and fed by Holy Church and Her dogmas.

St. John Bosco, lover of youth, pray for us.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, triumph soon!

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

tradlover · « **Reply #7 on:** October 26, 2012, 10:15:25 PM »

I can relate to having Protestant cousins southerners and methodists. Trying to convert them is a very un ecuмenical thing

Telesphorus · « **Reply #8 on:** October 27, 2012, 03:40:47 AM »

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You CANNOT raise a child to be a faithful Catholic adult if you are going to allow them to be inculcated by the world at large when they reach age 18.

It can happen even among "trads" before 18 unless they're basically isolated from other children. And too much isolation will be a recipe for disaster. Carefully screening one's children's companions and teaching children to flee the immorality of vicious companions is important.

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I have seen too many parents who believe that their children became 'adults' at 18 just because the US government SAYS that 18 is the age at which they can vote and be drafted.

It's not the government that makes people fully grown. Gives them rights? Yes, let's keep in mind, the government has never stopped 18 year old women from running away from home.

Parents who try to treat 18 year olds are minors will

1) not have a legal means to do so
2) cause serious problems later in life.

A lot of these people who say "children aren't grown up at 18" seem to be the same people who are very anxious to treat them as children as adults.

Raising children to be Catholic, and to remain Catholic, means raising them to their vocation so that they are ready to take their place in the world as soon as possible.

What often happens is a period of stifling that extends into young adulthood - or a sudden disastrous throwing out of the nest.

If you're going to throw them out of the nest, they'd better be ready to fly.

On the other hand, if they're ready and able to fly away, don't expect that trying to keep them in the nest is going to do you any good.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #9 on:** October 27, 2012, 04:00:43 AM »

The belief that young people somehow aren't growing up is a myth and a rationalization of the baby-boomers. It's a way for them to excuse themselves for the social and economic wreck they've created. They've damaged marriage, the family, the economy, the education system, to such an extent that they need someone to blame for the miserable future they've created - so of course they're going to blame their own children for not being able to easily find a good-paying job and a reasonably affordable place to live by their early 20s.

All this crap about children "not growing up" is really a matter of economics.

In the old days, and among lower classes, it wasn't uncommon for married children to live with their parents.

Of course when it was economically feasible in the mid 20th century to move into a brand new house and live independently from a young age, things were a lot different. When a college degree was a ticket to a good livelihood, things were a lot different. Things were a lot different 40 years ago. However, as far as "getting what they want" and blaming others for the mess they've made, it's a lot easier to blame young people for being shiftless and "immature" rather than for parents to blame their own deficiencies in judgment.

Human nature hasn't changed. What has changed is we've been raised by a generation raised on television and cultural indoctrination, and they lack imagination. Among traditionalists, they lack an understanding of just how serious being a traditionalist is. That is, you can't have your happy home, and pass it on to the next generation, without sacrifices. That is, you can't raise your children in the slack manner "the greatest generation" did - then expect children to follow the baby boomers worldly path to success, and to remain Catholic. If you want to remain Catholic, you have to follow traditions based on human nature.