First of all, 'dating' is a modernist idea that has no root in Scripture or in history.
Courting is a time-honored and MUCH respected tradition around the world; courting gives a young lady's PARENTS the opportunity to spend time with the young man in question, who will ALREADY have been recognized as a good citizen, responsible worker and gentleman.
The young man is to ASK PERMISSION of the young woman's father to court his daughter. Literally, the idea comes from a knight presenting himself at the COURT of the King, thereby subjecting himself to the King's ruling on his fitness for an important task.
In short, dating is an avenue for Satan to tempt you and your 'date' to get away with as much as he can trick you into. Courting, on the other hand, is something that involves the WHOLE of your families, and is Biblically and historically endorsed (young man is chosen as suitable for a man's daughter, they are engaged, he goes and prepares their home, the wedding ceremony takes place, he then comes and takes her to their new, common home and the marriage is consummated; then the feast begins. Also, pretty much what is happening in history between Christ and His Bride, the Church). Read up on the traditional practices surrounding courting and I believe you'll see all its benefits over against modernist 'dating' rituals.
Chaperones, by the way, were an integral part of a young lady's behavioral training; Christians were told as young women to treat their chaperone as if he or she were Christ Himself accompanying her on her outings. There was a time when one would NEVER see a young, unmarried woman out in public WITHOUT a chaperone. Those who ventured out without one were running the risk of being assumed to be a loose woman. Of course, the loose practices of many women these days exist precisely BECAUSE they are permitted to go out acting as their own caretakers. It's shameful that so many fathers allow their daughters to be alone wherever they go; even the most chaste and dignified fathers these days allow their girls to go out alone and have to face all the insults to their dignity that are surely out there. Fathers used to send chaperones with their daughters everywhere JUST SO they could be shielded from the more unsavory types and sights in the cities. It should be no less important today to shield our ladies from such filth. 'Dating', on the other hand, leaves the young unmarrieds at the reins of their impulses and untrained passions, which is only ever dangerous, and leaves the young people exposed to sights, sounds and people that they might not be savvy enough to avoid.
Kissing is described in three ways in Scripture:
1) ILLICIT kissing, as in the kissing of the whorish woman and the stupid young man in the Proverbs.
2) LICIT and God-honoring, as in the intimacies of the Lover and His Beloved in the Canticle of Canticles.
3) the HOLY kiss, as a gesture of greeting, parting and Christian solidarity, mentioned in the Epistles of St. Paul.
Only ONE of those instances involves men and women in a manner that is pleasing to God; the other is of people who are NOT married, and the third is not an intimate kiss but rather a social custom that was carried on and encouraged by the Church as HOLY rather than as immoral.
I believe I read somewhere that the 'kiss on both cheeks' practice evolved because Christians would greet one another with ONE kiss on a cheek, and then the other because Christ enjoins us to 'turn the other cheek'. The double-cheek kiss was a reminder to continually be prepared to turn the other cheek AND to accept whatever is aimed AT those cheeks, whether it be for blessing or for humiliation. Even if what I read was not entirely correct, I'd like to think that such a mindset is a good thing to have when dealing with greeting one another with a 'holy kiss'.
St. Gemma Galgani, holy virgin of Christ, pray for us.
Mary, Spotless Spouse of the Holy Ghost, pray for us.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Topic: Dating guidlines (Read 2119 times)