So where to begin and how... 38 yr old single male ,

I feel utterly trapped in the Church now. My life story up until now is too long to get into to properly explain why I am feeling utterly exhausted with the Church; but I have had my highs and my lows.  I get everything, I get that the Church is the truth an the way to Heaven an etc. Past year or so I have had external problems that have lead to the spiritual internal problems, but that doesn't mean that I have never had issues with the Church, it just means I have kept them quiet and chalked it up to faith in the end of all my confusion.  

Long story and question short is, how does one leave the Chrch and not be damned for it ?

There is no mercy by the Church for those Catholics who have had enough to just leave and not come back with out penalty and or an automatic sentence to purgatory, so is it just leave an lick your wounds when or if you decide to come back, through reconciliation , do we talk to our Bishop and let him know what is going on, or what ?

I get no relief on any level anymore attending mass, and am going out of mere obligation of law and family tradition. I appreciate what the good Lord did for me getting me out of the military in one physical piece , but mentally is another story. I got more crosses than I need and if the punch line is to just give it back to Christ then I got to wonder why I was given them in the first place. I am close to contacting a priest I know, but was just curious as to how much trouble one actually gets into with the Church if one decides to leave.  I can't physically leave, but mentally I checked out awhile back, spiritually I am at mass long enough to get some sincere praying done and personal private prayer is limited to the brief privacy i have while driving by myself or in the bathroom.

I am tired of having to shake hands at mass, i dont like going through the motions of the mass of standing and sitting and kneeling, it has become too repetative and annoying, i get tired of sitting in the pew and having the person directly behind me either kneeling directly behind me an next to me that i got about an inch of space from their elbow or face in my face, or their face directly behind the back of my head or my mothers head, which has literally happened on plenty of occasions, not to mention if i decide to sit instead of kneel, then it throws off the person behind me an then ya gotta scootch forward a bit so ya dont get poked.

im exhausted with it all an that is just a tiny piece of me complaining.

So where to begin and how... 38 yr old single male ,

I feel utterly trapped in the Church now. My life story up until now is too long to get into to properly explain why I am feeling utterly exhausted with the Church; but I have had my highs and my lows.  I get everything, I get that the Church is the truth an the way to Heaven an etc. Past year or so I have had external problems that have lead to the spiritual internal problems, but that doesn't mean that I have never had issues with the Church, it just means I have kept them quiet and chalked it up to faith in the end of all my confusion.  

Long story and question short is, how does one leave the Chrch and not be damned for it ?

There is no mercy by the Church for those Catholics who have had enough to just leave and not come back with out penalty and or an automatic sentence to purgatory, so is it just leave an lick your wounds when or if you decide to come back, through reconciliation , do we talk to our Bishop and let him know what is going on, or what ?

I get no relief on any level anymore attending mass, and am going out of mere obligation of law and family tradition. I appreciate what the good Lord did for me getting me out of the military in one physical piece , but mentally is another story. I got more crosses than I need and if the punch line is to just give it back to Christ then I got to wonder why I was given them in the first place. I am close to contacting a priest I know, but was just curious as to how much trouble one actually gets into with the Church if one decides to leave.  I can't physically leave, but mentally I checked out awhile back, spiritually I am at mass long enough to get some sincere praying done and personal private prayer is limited to the brief privacy i have while driving by myself or in the bathroom.

I am tired of having to shake hands at mass, i dont like going through the motions of the mass of standing and sitting and kneeling, it has become too repetative and annoying, i get tired of sitting in the pew and having the person directly behind me either kneeling directly behind me an next to me that i got about an inch of space from their elbow or face in my face, or their face directly behind the back of my head or my mothers head, which has literally happened on plenty of occasions, not to mention if i decide to sit instead of kneel, then it throws off the person behind me an then ya gotta scootch forward a bit so ya dont get poked.

im exhausted with it all an that is just a tiny piece of me complaining.

One of the difficult things for me to deal with becoming a Traditional Catholic was and still is to an extent, is dealing with so many people in Church when it is full. I can't stand the feeling of not being able to properly move in Church. My prayers are much less intense when there are too many people in Church.

I'll pray for you, GLC. Your fatigue is understood by may folks here. I too encourage you to look into Traditional Latin Mass groups. I think you will find church-going more tranquil in this environment, it is certainly true for my family!

Another note to readers:

This is a sad example of the real consequences one can experience when he makes an objectively bad decision -- even if he is "invincibly ignorant" or morally guilt-free.

Nature will still exact a high price -- it will demand every farthing.

God always forgives.
Man sometimes forgives.
Nature never forgives.


You sign up for the military (to be a Stormtrooper for the American Empire, a.k.a. the Military-Industrial complex), sure God will forgive you if you didn't know what you were getting yourself into. And men will understand as well. But nature? Nature is a merciless beast.

Any organization which STARTS OUT by "breaking you down, so they can build you back up" during Basic Training is a whole different animal than any other "job" or "career", I'll tell you that!

And no career is as dangerous to one's Faith and morals as the military. I know pagan co-workers are always a cross to bear in any industry or career -- but the mental and emotional damage done by the military is second to none.

And no other job talks about obedience, not thinking for yourself, etc. in quite the same way as the military. There are hundreds of jobs one could do, which wouldn't require this kind of "selling of one's soul".

I would rather push a shopping cart and collect aluminum cans, sleeping at a shelter every day, rather than join the military. At least my soul and mind would still be free -- I could spend time in the library reading.

The military isn't for everyone, others I knew spiraled far worse off than I did.  

I don't know -- it sounds like I hit the nail on the head. You admitted you had problems. I know for a fact just how many emotional/mental/spiritual issues the military causes. The VA hospital is kept quite busy with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) cases.

And then there's the "guinea pig" aspect -- they pump soldiers full of all sorts of vaccines, which sometimes results in health problems (like "Gulf War Syndrome").

I knew a seminarian who used to serve on a submarine. He attested to the moral depravity found in the military.

... remembering of course that you will usually not be able to use the message function to take up Marlelar's kind offer for approx a week after joining the forum.  

well matthew, see, that is the thing, you think you know me, and you don't; all you nailed on the head is your own preconceived notions, you're of zero help to me right now and are working on my last nerve and I would prefer if ya just left me alone now.  

An i don't live in Az Marl.. but ty for the offer, my diocese does have one parish in town that does offer a latin an like a gregorian something or other kind of mass that i noticed.


why would a diocese though have a latin or traditional mass and have some kind of hybrid thing going on, at that point it isn't a traditional mass if they are mixing things together,  and  I have even witnessed one priest against performing a latin mass, yet was more than eager to  celebrate black history month with baptist style gospel music, and hold  a smphony in the church because of its' acustic features, an then welcome a brief performance in the church for those of Chinese nationaly to feature one of those parade like dragons for the Chinese new year ..  but for some reason he drew the line at a latin or traditional mass..... things that like drive me up the wall. and i dont get it.  The Church isn't one to create rules to respect ones private boundaries, where as in personal relationships be it a friendship or what ever, work, etc, there are boundaries, if you have had enough of a situation at work, or a person ,, one can go okay look I cant take it anymore and one of us needs to back off so I am going this way, and don't follow me, I'll check things out when im ready  an come back when I feel like I am ready.  An in that circuмstance it is fine, no one goes okay well when you come back, there will be reprocussions and you will need to do this and this and this for us to be square.  I use to enjoy adoration , but im burnt out on that as well.... an haven't been in years.... least not where i use to go anyhow, i could always go some where else and i need to consider that, cause it isn't adoration itself i have a problem with it is the people at this one parish....

It's like the only real answer to being burnt out going to mass is  oh well, keep going and hope things get better, or leave and take your chances.  I feel like the obligation to go to mass is more of a threat than anything, and i don't feel like the church is set up to care if people actually enjoy going or not nor has any insight on being burnt out.  A priest can take a sabatical or vacation from his duties but is still obligated at the very least to attend mass ,  but there is no break from an obligation and that just feels like I am being forced into something.  

Some days at mass are better than others....

What is your prayer life like?