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Author Topic: hardly anyone should get married  (Read 8618 times)

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Offline Troubled30

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Re: hardly anyone should get married
« Reply #75 on: August 30, 2019, 07:09:51 PM »
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  • Are you for real?  :fryingpan: Do you really expect a bunch of older women to start a religious order, then a school and have the energy and physical stamina to operate both that would tax much younger people?
    These women would be at the age when serious medical issues are showing up.
    There is good reason for convents not accepting older women.
    What the trad world really needs is a truly Catholic retirement home set up by younger catholics.
    I dont know her.
    I know 60 yo ladies with enough energy and otherd who lack it and need medical support. 
    Maybe she cant start the order or teach a bunch of 5 yo kids, but can offer schooling counseling to home schooling parents. 
    I agree about your last statement.
    Ps. Yes, Im for real and you dont need to be so rude. 


    Offline Troubled30

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #76 on: August 30, 2019, 07:17:13 PM »
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  • Maybe.  Not everyone is called to that life, though.  Some of the early saints were called to be hermits.  Now, the age limit for joining a religious order is largely a practical one.  Ideally, someone should be allowed to join at any age ... except that the costs of healthcare increase with age, and so it would be hard for an order to absorb a lot of older people as the grow closer to the end of their lives.
    Good point.
    I dont know Seraphina so I dont know her real situation... and I apologize to her if I said something wrong.


    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #77 on: August 30, 2019, 08:18:40 PM »
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  • Copy your response out and read it when you are old and in pain.
    !!!  True, but go easy on him!  He’s probably 30 or younger, unmarried, no children, and has been blessed with reasonably good health and healthcare. 
    What he’s calling for is heroic virtue, like saints who willingly underwent surgery without anesthesia.  That’s an exceptional calling from God, not something one signs up for upon becoming a postulant.
    Right now I need new glasses and need to get my teeth filled or pulled.  Both will have to wait because I have medical bills from April.  I got the flu—-the virulent Australian strain not covered by the vaccine and it went into pneumonia.  On top of those two, my Fifth’s Disease flared up along with PVS myalgia and arthritis.   They’re all viral.  One can only treat symptoms and wait it out.  The PVS I’m stuck with barring a miracle.  When it flares up, you manage the symptoms and go on as best you can.
    Mr. Troubled30 is either young, wealthy, on his parents’ good medical insurance, or from a country with socialized medicine.  I have insurance, but it’s not very good and doesn’t cover many things like dental or optical care.  

    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #78 on: August 30, 2019, 09:28:32 PM »
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  • I dont know her.
    I know 60 yo ladies with enough energy and otherd who lack it and need medical support.
    Maybe she cant start the order or teach a bunch of 5 yo kids, but can offer schooling counseling to home schooling parents.
    I agree about your last statement.
    Ps. Yes, Im for real and you dont need to be so rude.
    Actually, I do teach a bunch of 5-8 year old kids.  Most are 6 or will turn 6 before Jan. 1.  I just received my class list of 16 mainly special needs/foreign students.  I teach a combination and inclusion spec. ed/ESL first grade in a non-sectarian Christian school in New York City.  I wrote a bit about it on this and a few other threads.  We are one of very few non-publicly funded religious schools that accepts special needs students.  
    I find it very difficult due to health issues, so I’d appreciate all the prayer I can get!  The way I manage is to pare away as many non-essentials from my life as possible.  If I were married with kids and a husband at home, there’s no way I could do this job.  During the school week, I rent a semi-furnished room with bath in a private condo two miles from school.  I eat breakfast at work, usually a protein smoothie.  I’m too busy and tense to eat during the school day, also, I’m in direct charge of children all but 30 minutes from 7:45 - 3:45.  The children cannot be left unattended and I have no assistance.  Due to scheduling problems, my “break” is over by 10:45, usually earlier and it is often not possible to use a restroom, so not eating or drinking much makes sense.  I do planning, correcting, prep work until about 5:45.  If I have outside errands, I do them before going home.  I’ve arranged with ReadiFresh to drop off meals for the week, and I have my place deep-cleaned every two weeks by a high school girl who lives in the building.  On Fridays I leave school and go directly to my parents’ home 80 miles away.  I bring my laundry and do it along with my parents’ laundry.  My Mom or Dad have a plate ready for me when I get in about 8:30.  On Saturdays I do spot cleaning, minor household repairs, and my parents’ shopping for the week.  They have a cleaner who comes weekly, and does mending and other small errands as needed.  On Sunday, I sleep in.  Recently, I’ve been watching Mass on line and praying the Rosary with Mom who doesn’t go out much.  She’s on a walker at home, but uses a wheelchair otherwise.  My Dad still drives locally during the day and can walk well with a cane, although, like me, he prefers a walking staff!   I drive back to school on Monday morning, leaving by 4:30 in good weather, 3:40ish if there’s snow.  
    Every school day except Friday, I shower as soon as I get home, eat supper, pray the Rosary, and try to be in bed, lights out by 9:00.  If I don’t get lots of sleep, my health gives way and my teaching suffers.  I don’t have much of a social life or time for recreation.  I do a little walking twice a day as I need to park my car a number of blocks away.  I have several exercise balls, tension cords, and weights for stretching.  I should do some cardio, but swimming is about the only cardio activity I’m able to do and the Y hours don’t suit my schedule.  In the summer I do get to swim at my parents’ clubhouse a few times a week.  It’s all old folks doing physical therapy in the pool, so there’s no temptation issue.  I usually fall asleep meditating, doing spiritual reading, praying for students, or listening to a sermon or conference on line.  The other place I pray a lot is in my car commuting the 3+ hours to and from my parents’ house on Friday evening and Monday morning.  And that’s pretty much it.  Exhausting by day, but fulfilling when the children learn or make progress with language or behavior issues.  Otherwise, it’s not too exciting.  I just try to keep going because I’m too young to retire, not impaired enough to get SSD, and I can’t afford to quit or work part time.  (If I work part time, I get no health insurance at all.)  

    Offline Geremia

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #79 on: August 30, 2019, 09:53:34 PM »
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  • What the trad world really needs is a truly Catholic retirement home set up by younger catholics.
    The SSPX in the U.S. is planning such a thing (Sarto Village).
    St. Isidore e-book library: https://isidore.co/calibre


    Offline Geremia

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #80 on: August 30, 2019, 09:55:58 PM »
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  • Not really possible. One needs a foundation, a superior—-I will not operate without one, money, and sisters.  One also must have the requisite administrative, financial, and management skills, things for which I have zero aptitude.  
    How about a pious union? I know of one comprising only about 5 women.
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    Offline Pax Vobis

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #81 on: August 30, 2019, 11:19:21 PM »
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  • No one needs to join a religious order or community or a pious union to save their soul.  Masses, rosaries and good works are beneficial and necessary for every catholic, whatever their vocation.  Those of you who are persuading mature adults into a such a scenario are 1) ignoring the competence of mature adults to make their own decisions and 2) putting your Middle Ages/idealistic fantasies ahead of reality.  

    Offline Troubled30

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #82 on: August 31, 2019, 06:42:13 AM »
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  • Mr. Troubled30 is either young, wealthy, on his parents’ good medical insurance, or from a country with socialized medicine.  I have insurance, but it’s not very good and doesn’t cover many things like dental or optical care.  
    Dear Seraphina
    I apologize , I didnt know about your medical situation.

    Ps. Im a woman, I dont have socialized medicine (I have to pay it and I know its very hard). Please forget my last statements.


    Offline Brown Recluse

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #83 on: September 01, 2019, 12:37:20 AM »
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  • Quote
    Quote from: Miseremini August 30, 2019, 05:47:43 PM

    Copy your response out and read it when you are old and in pain.

    So you're saying you choose comfort over the Cross? You choose pain-killers over grace? You choose a temporary "fix" over Christ?

    Copy your response and read it after you pray the rosary.
    "I'm running things now, and I'll do everything it takes to destroy the enemies of God. Now, you join me, and I promise you, you'll never have to worry about whether you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing, because we will do the only thing." ~ Joseph Croix de Fer

    Offline Marys Anawim

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #84 on: September 03, 2019, 08:58:29 PM »
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  • That's an American thing, it was not like that for the Southern Europeans who came to America, like the Italians. Americans are like snakes, they lay their eggs and walk away, and let the children fend for  themselves basically. In my culture, the daughters would remain in the home till they were married to a man that was appropriate in the eyes of the parents, specially the father. The sons were taught a business, how to make a living by the father.

    In America they are both sent away from daycare to K-12, to College/work. They must fend for themselves.
    I was born and raised in ny and nj and it is so true what you say. My family is of dominican and Puerto Rican decent but when they came here and assimilated all of what you speak was slowly driven out of our family. I strongly believe in having our daughters at home until they either marry with papa's consent or become a religious. Also boys must work and either learn a trade or start a business or take over family business. We here do not encourage college...mostly it is just a worldly indoctrination camp...that you pay for!

    Offline Troubled30

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #85 on: September 04, 2019, 06:58:15 AM »
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  • I was born and raised in ny and nj and it is so true what you say. My family is of dominican and Puerto Rican decent but when they came here and assimilated all of what you speak was slowly driven out of our family. I strongly believe in having our daughters at home until they either marry with papa's consent or become a religious. Also boys must work and either learn a trade or start a business or take over family business. We here do not encourage college...mostly it is just a worldly indoctrination camp...that you pay for!
    That was a traditional catholic family view.
    Not allowing your 17yo daughters who go to another city to live as independent man.
    Fathers who allow this would have to answer to God ....


    Offline Last Tradhican

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    Re: hardly anyone should get married
    « Reply #86 on: September 04, 2019, 03:19:46 PM »
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  • I was born and raised in ny and nj and it is so true what you say. My family is of dominican and Puerto Rican decent but when they came here and assimilated all of what you speak was slowly driven out of our family. I strongly believe in having our daughters at home until they either marry with papa's consent or become a religious. Also boys must work and either learn a trade or start a business or take over family business. We here do not encourage college...mostly it is just a worldly indoctrination camp...that you pay for!
    In the late 1800's, the saying went: "Come to America, lose the Faith". Today, the whole world has lost the Faith. 
    The Vatican II church - Assisting Souls to Hell Since 1962

    For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch as to deceive (if possible) even the elect. Mat 24:24