Let's attempt a little criticism here. I hope it's not too hard!
Should we say that feelings behind actions don't matter?
If someone's heart has grown cold towards God, isn't that a problem?
If someone's heart has grown cold towards their children, isn't that a problem?
Now, that's not to say those feelings of coldness are necessarily the person's fault. HOWEVER, the idea that they don't matter and aren't connected to the act of love, the will to love someone, is rather suspect if you ask me.
In place of the modern pabulum of CS Lewis, I gave a link to Proverbs 5, which is about as good as you can get on this topic.
A man should hopefully have feelings of being in love with his wife.
It's natural.
8 Let thy vein be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth:
19 Let her be thy dearest hind, and most agreeable fawn: let her breasts inebriate thee at all times: be thou delighted continually with her love.
I think women like this idea of not having to feel love for their husbands more than men.
Men are of course explicitly commanded to love their wives.
For that reason, they should choose someone loveable!