Author Topic: Catholic dating and marriage (Read 1065 times)

Matthew · « **on:** July 13, 2007, 08:23:02 PM »

I thought I'd start a topic out of the blue, after reading some interesting articles recently.

The world thinks that everyone -- from the 10 year old in elementary school, to the high school senior, to the 63 year old widow -- has little or nothing to live for if they don't have "someone to love" (a significant other).

But the Catholic wisdom teaches that a young person shouldn't concern himself with courtship (which is like dating, only it aims for marriage, not fun or pleasure) until he is more or less ready to be married.

So if a young man determines that he needs a 4-year college degree, he should probably focus on that until he nears graduation. It only makes sense.

But then again, not everyone needs to be "well to do" or even have a college degree. Some are called to manual trades (which can be learned through apprenticeship, etc.) and others are called to the priesthood/religious life, military, etc.

So even a poor man could get married, as long as he could support a wife and many children *in some way*, even if not according to the world's standards.

But a teenager should NOT mess with courtship, unless he has some way to support a family in mind. If he is not fit for manual labor (he has his heart set on being a computer programmer, for instance) he needs to go to college (or do much self-study, certification, etc.) so he can be established as a programmer FIRST before he can settle down and get married. Or, if he is willing to give up his programming career and become a factory worker, he's welcome to get married to his high school sweetheart, etc. -- but he might regret it later. But that is where Free Will comes in. We all make choices.

I think a lot of people are confused on this, which is why I wanted to start this topic.

Matthew

Miss_Fluffy · « **Reply #1 on:** July 13, 2007, 08:43:35 PM »

I think alot of it depends on culture. For example, where I live there are many hispanic, even spanish speaking people who have been in the area many generations.

They tend to take care of their children well into their 30s, even if they decide to marry. But in the past 10 years or so, they are doing the same thing without encouraging marriage for the young people.

Nowadays, it goes something like, daughter gets knocked up, boyfriend moves in with girlfriends family, they all raise the kid together. The sad thing is, the main thing that encourages cohabitation among the poor is welfare benefits. It's a simple fact that a single Mom gets more state benefits if she doesn't marry. I work with Moms in these situations all the time. And it's so sad, because alot of them have faith, it's just the money situation drives them to sin.

Matthew · « **Reply #2 on:** July 13, 2007, 09:11:59 PM »

Yes, "practical concerns" and "expediency" often lead people to offend God.

It's hard to give up health benefits, retirement funds, etc. to do the right thing. That is why so few priests are willing to "take the plunge" and start saying the TLM exclusively. I read a whole book in which 17 Novus Ordo priests were interviewed -- for many of them, health insurance, salary, etc. were their main fear as they mulled their options.

But then they realized that the Faithful will always take care of a good priest. That was the advice they gave to OTHER priests who might be reading the book.

Matthew

Kephapaulos · « **Reply #3 on:** July 17, 2007, 05:07:33 AM »

God instituted marriage, and it is very much something disrespected in many different ways. It is not always by mortal sins of the flesh. I think it is even more disrespected simply by when people make filthy jokes, married couples even not respecting chastity or showing too much outward affection, unnecessary (and best for until marriage) hugging or kissing done by couples that are courting, etc. The sacrament of marriage is indeed not to be taken lightly, which is something I have been especially learning more about these days. God creates through marriage, of course, and being something assisting in God's creative power, marriage is attacked especially by the devil, considering that the devil was around when God instituted marriage from almost the very beginning of time, although I do not know if the devil had fallen by that time yet.

Kephapaulos · « **Reply #4 on:** July 31, 2007, 03:52:04 PM »

Anyone else have two cents to give to this thread? :farmer:

PinoyMonk · « **Reply #5 on:** July 31, 2007, 04:01:10 PM »

Quote from: Kephapaulos

Anyone else have two cents to give to this thread? :farmer:

I'll raise you three pennies, a hot sauce packet from Taco Bell, and a few toothpicks. =P