I found this short piece of fiction online.
“It ignited a firestorm on social media”
Welcome to the show. I’m your host, YouGluer the Magnificent. My guest today calls himself Brad Douchebag. Brad has 1.3 million Twitter followers. So Brad, what’s your secret to success?
Thanks for having me. I scour the web for comments advocating individual freedom of any kind, and I scream against those comments on Twitter. Then my followers pile on with me and create a firestorm.
I see. I’m told you’ve made quite a name for yourself in academic circles.
Harvard offered me a teaching position in their Department of Social Sciences and Data Analysis. I had to turn it down.
Why?
I’ve parlayed my social media presence into a business. I sell cheap Chinese masks online. Managing a business requires a great deal of time and energy. Frankly, Harvard’s offer was an insult. 150K a year…
PART THREE
Joe works for a major corporation. He’s an animal rights advocate.
One day, on his personal Twitter account, he posts the following: “What they do to animals in labs is sheer torture. The lab-thugs poison them to discover a precise dose that kills…”
Social media mavens pick up on this comment. For example: “Joe’s juxtaposition of ANIMALS and THUGS is thinly veiled RACISM. We all know what he really means.”
Two weeks later, the HR person in Joe’s company calls him in. “You’re under attack, Joe. You’re going to have to apologize. Profusely.”
“Nonsense,” Joe says. “I did nothing wrong. People are twisting my words.”
“We know that, Joe. But it doesn’t matter. The company doesn’t care about what you posted. We care about the reaction. Somebody is going to discover you work here. And then they’re going to come after us.”
“Then you tell them my comments weren’t hurtful.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Joe. You have to grovel, or we’ll fire you. You’ll be out in the street. No major company will hire you. Instead, apologize, enroll in one of our re-education classes, and sit down with an anti-racist group. We have a list of those groups. You apologize to them, too---“
“But I’m not a racist.”
“It doesn’t matter now. It only matters what people are saying. Think of your family, Joe. What are THEY going to say when you’re out of work, when you could have saved your job, but didn’t? Do you think you’ll have their sympathy after you flushed 200K a year down the toilet?”
“…This is more serious than I imagined.”
“You bet your ass it is.”
“I’m going to have to become a different person.”
“Now you’re talking.”
“What kind of person will that be?”
“Someone humble, Joe, who seeks forgiveness, who made a serious mistake, who will do everything in his power to atone for his sins. You now realize the pain you’ve caused others.”
“Should I cry?”
“That would be good.”
“I took a drama course in college.”
“Put it to use.”
“What about self-flagellation on camera?”
“With a whip? That would be going too far. People would think you’re crazy. Keep it along the line of, you’re sorry, you’re devastated, and by atoning you hope to set an example for others.”
“Yes, that’s good.”
“We have PR people, Joe. They’ll work with you. They’ll help you craft your new messages, your new persona.”
“I’ll be like a reformed criminal who got religion.”
“Yes. Think of yourself as a prisoner who’s seeking early parole. You’ll do whatever it takes.”
“All right---you pass.”
“Excuse me? What?”
“You pass. My name isn’t Joe. I’m with the Justice Department. In a few weeks, I’m going to resign from my job here with you people and disappear. My unit moves from corporation to corporation, making sure their key people are on board with preferred social trends.”
“That’s---I don’t believe you, Joe.”
“I’d advise you to believe me. I really would. I’m not the only DOJ employee on board with your company. We keep an eye on things.”
“No.”
“Yes. We’re in the middle of a vast social experiment. Our goal is changing attitudes. We’re tightening the control system. You’re with us, or you’re against us. ALL humans are wild ANIMALS, biological machines that are mis-programmed from birth. We’re doing the re-programming. We need major corporations like yours to partner with us. Declare vaccine mandates, enforce correct social behavior, and so on. If, for any reason, you decided to oppose what we’re doing, YOU would find yourself out in the street without a job. The resentment of your family would be visited on YOU. YOUR friends would shun you. Am I getting through?”
“…you are. Yes.”
“Good. You’re OK, Bob. You earn a pass. So far. Stay on the straight and narrow.”
“I’m amazed.”
“That’s a normal reaction. It’s a new world.”
“I’ll say. So you have my balls in a box.”
“We do.”
“I’m not sure I like that, Joe.”
“How much you don’t like it is part of the social experiment, too. We want to know how far we can push people.”
“Before what?”
“Before they rebel in great numbers. That’s the ultimate question, isn’t it? When do they stop giving away their freedom for what they think is security?”
“When? How about never?”
“Good. We need people like you. We build our palaces on your backs.”
“Because we’re passive.”
“Bingo.”
Topic: Cancel culture with a twist (Read 338 times)