Author Topic: Can Men and Women be friends? (Read 8718 times)

Napoli · « **Reply #35 on:** July 02, 2013, 01:49:48 PM »

Thanks.

It makes sense to me. I always avoid excessive contact with the opposite gender. To do otherwise is playing with fire.

Lover of Truth · « **Reply #36 on:** July 02, 2013, 01:49:57 PM »

Quote from: Solidus

You can have female friends but not "close friends" when you're married or courting.

It's more of a safety precaution than anything. St. Alphonsus told his priests that the devil can make a beast of woman look tempting to you if he wants to break your chastity.

And let's not forget that your spouse would become jealous and paranoid. It doesn't matter how much you trust your partner, if they're gonna be "hanging out" with their friend of the opposite sex, your "adultery alarm" is gonna go off.

It's best to cut ties with old female friends once you're married, unless they're married, then you and your wife can have dinner with them or something.

I used to be a hugger. Now I have told women who touch me more than once (in the work place) that I mean no offense but I do not like anyone touching me except my wife and they oblige. I have only had to do this twice. One was offended but both obliged.

Lover of Truth · « **Reply #37 on:** July 02, 2013, 01:52:12 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

The modern world pushes the whole "platonic friendship" thing, but really, all taken together, the phenomenon just leads to a lot of fornication and adultery that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Nowadays you have terms like "work spouse" and "friends with benefits".

But even if there are no "benefits" (I'm using their term here), it serves to give both men AND women that "spouse's mind" that they're lacking. Men and women both need a helper of the opposite sex -- it's how God designed things. So by a woman having plenty of male friends (or vice-versa), she won't feel anything lacking in her life, and might delay marriage longer than usual.

I'm surprised Tele isn't more against this -- it certainly delays marriage for women as much as any college education.

Is it just me, or today (in the "modern world") are women more likely to do the "just friends" thing than guys? As a guy who was single for quite a while after reaching adulthood, I can attest that I never looked at a non-relative female (close to my age) as anything other than a potential marriage partner. There might have been a small % of women that were so repulsive to me that I wasn't attracted to them, but they were the exception.

If any of the girls in my class in (public) high school would have shown interest in me, I certainly would have been interested.

I think that's pretty normal for a single guy.

Every "friendship" with a woman you hope becomes "more". With sleezy modern guys, they hope to "get lucky". With traditional Catholic guys they hope it will turn into love and eventual marriage.

But men and women should never be alone, unless they are related or married. This applies to courtship, but it also applies to friendships. You can't play around with God's design and have no consequences. God made that attraction, it's very powerful, and it shouldn't be toyed with.

"Pride goeth before the fall." If you think "I'm strong enough" you've already half-lost.

Nice post!

Zeitun · « **Reply #38 on:** July 02, 2013, 05:18:22 PM »

Quote from: Lover of Truth

Quote from: Solidus
You can have female friends but not "close friends" when you're married or courting.

It's more of a safety precaution than anything. St. Alphonsus told his priests that the devil can make a beast of woman look tempting to you if he wants to break your chastity.

And let's not forget that your spouse would become jealous and paranoid. It doesn't matter how much you trust your partner, if they're gonna be "hanging out" with their friend of the opposite sex, your "adultery alarm" is gonna go off.

It's best to cut ties with old female friends once you're married, unless they're married, then you and your wife can have dinner with them or something.

I used to be a hugger. Now I have told women who touch me more than once (in the work place) that I mean no offense but I do not like anyone touching me except my wife and they oblige. I have only had to do this twice. One was offended but both obliged.

My teenage son begged to be homeschooled because of girls hugging him. Of course I obliged!!!!

Sigismund · « **Reply #39 on:** July 02, 2013, 06:16:00 PM »

I have a few female friends, and have throughout my life. It has never been a problem.