Author Topic: Bullying (Read 1329 times)

poche · « **on:** September 19, 2013, 02:59:59 AM »

When Karen Suffern, a single mom from Rocky Mount, N.C., asked her 8-year-old twins to write a letter to Santa with their Christmas wishes over the weekend, she expected to see toys, books and clothes on the list.

Instead, Suffern was shocked to see a heartfelt request from her son, Ryan, that Santa Claus step in and put an end to the bullying suffered by his twin sister, Amber.

"Dear Santa … I wanted a [remote control] car and helicopter, but I don't want that any mor. Kid at school are still picking on Amber and its not fair because she doesnt do anything to them … ," Ryan wrote. "I prayed that they will stop but god is bisy and needs your help.

"Is it against the rules to give gift early?" he wrote.

"Ryan handed me his and told me not to read it so of course I read it to find out what he wanted," Suffern told ABCNews.com. "That's when I realized and thought, 'Oh, my gosh.'"

Suffern posted the letter to her Facebook page to share with family and a few close friends, or so she thought. After her friends shared it on their own pages and online, however, the letter went viral, making news across the globe as people were touched by Ryan's words.

"It's amazing and overwhelming at the same time," Suffern said of the response. "Initially, I was kind of upset because it reached so many people and I'm a private person but now I think it's a topic that needs to be discussed before it becomes too late."

The attention forced Suffern to tell Ryan, who, like Amber, is in the third-grade, that she had read his letter.

"It takes a lot to get him to talk, like pulling teeth, so he doesn't understand why it's a big deal," she said.

It also allowed Suffern to open a dialogue with her children's school, and begin to make things better for Amber, who Suffern says suffers from ADHD, depression and a mood disorder.

"The school has been in touch and they're making sure my daughter feels comfortable and safe," Suffern said. "They moved her on the bus because about 98 percent of the bullying takes place on the bus. She's now sitting with her cousin who's much older than Amber is.

"Today and yesterday she didn't wake up begging me to let her stay home, so I guess that's a good sign," she said.

Suffern says she first started talking to her children about bullying a year or two ago when the Cartoon Network hosted a TV special TV on the topic.

"I asked the kids if they had ever bullied anyone or been bullied and Amber said, 'Sometimes I just wish I would die so that people would leave me alone,'" Suffern recalled.

"That broke my heart," she said. "I've been there and I do not want my daughter going through that."

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/8-old-boy-asks-santa-end-sisters-bullying-174434368--abc-news-parenting.html

I think it is significant that what he wanted was help for his sister instead of a new toy.

ggreg · « **Reply #1 on:** September 19, 2013, 03:41:07 AM »

This has always gone on. It is in the nature of humans to do this as new groups of people establish a pecking order or hierarchy. Nasty ? Yes. But we are dealing with fallen beings.

Schools are better now than they were. In the UK this is a hot topic and schools have ways and means of dealing with it. It is not ignored.

Armies have bullying too and always did. Priests get bullied in the Church by other priests snd bishops. Mentally and physically handicapped and black people used to get bullied FAR more when I was a child than they do today. Someone like my autistic son would have been bullied mercilessly. Now he goes to a scout group and the other kids are rather nice to him. They make fun of him but there is no nastiness or persecution.

If you shield children from this I am not sure it helps. Better to show them how to deal with it, because sooner or later they will have to. I was bullied at school myself aged 11 and 12. The Irish kids were working class and some had a chip on their shoulder. I was not working class or Irish. My middle class parents had not bought us up to defend ourselves with fists, but with words. Ideal if you go to a grammar school, not so ideal if half your school are remedial morons.

I saw Rocky at the movies and decided to take boxing lessons to solve the problem. I cycled 3 miles to North Sudbury boxing club which was full of oiks. But oils who wanted to box not beat me up for kids. 4 months later when my brother and I were spat on after school walking home we punched them to the floor and then kicked them in their faces till they were black and blue and groaning on the ground. Their hanger on ran away. They skipped school for a week to let the bruising go down. Their parents threatened to call the cops, yada, yada, yada. The hanger on told everyone what happened.

Bullying completely stopped after that. At least for me. I am sure the bullies found other victims but like putting good security on your house you are simply moving the problem elsewhere.

Teach your children genuine street fighting MMA type stuff and to finish people off and they won't be bullied. Great thing about boxing is that you learn to both take and avoid punches. It is very applicable in street fighting situations. I see kids doing Karate who never get into a full fight. The ref keeps stopping them. Real fights stop only when they are over. You need to work with the adrenalin rush.

Kids don't get jailed for fighting or even actual bodily harm. At worst they get a ticking off and at very worse a juvenile record, which gets expunged. Where I went to school that was like a badge of honour amongst those Paddys.

OHCA · « **Reply #2 on:** September 19, 2013, 04:59:33 PM »

I am skeptical about whether stories like the one in the original post have been exaggerated or fabricated to appeal to popular opinion in the push to pass and force acceptance of "bullying" laws. I think fαɢɢօtry is the main agenda of "bullying" laws. It makes boys accord some level of respect to fαɢɢօtry. Also, it requires more effeminate & fαɢɢօtized conduct of boys than how they would naturally be.

Why do we need "bullying" laws? We already have laws against assault, threats of physical violence, harassment, hate crime statutes, etc. Bullying laws are to prohibit normal child behavior and criminalize the razzing of fαɢɢօts and misfits. A little "bullying" may straighten some of the weirdos out. There are already laws in place to deal with instances that constitute more than a little razzing. "Bullying" laws are all about protecting fαɢɢօts and other misfitting conduct that even children inherently know is against proper order, and punishing the children who naturally react to such oddities. Yes--fαɢɢօtry is still an oddity no matter how many celebrities "come out."

ggreg · « **Reply #3 on:** September 19, 2013, 06:09:18 PM »

That's nonsense. Lots of people get bullied at school and very few of them are effeminate.

People often get bullied because they are academic or an odd appearance or a speech impediment or a disability. Generally bullies get pleasure from picking on the weak, shy, thin-tail sort of people. If you are Joe Average and play for the soccer team you don't get a bullied. If you were ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ and tall and tough, (some are), you would not be bullied either.

Almost nobody is a "fαɢɢօt" under the age of 15 anyhow. And other adolescents should certainly not be the judge, jury and executioner of who is and who isn't.

If an effeminate boy was popular with the better looking girls at the school, and some are, he probably would not be bullied either, because those girls could use their power to alienate the bully and the toughest guys at school would do the girls bidding and beat the bully up just to impress the chicks.

The real hard cases at school are almost never the bullies. They have nothing to prove.

I very much doubt that bullying "straightens" anyone out. Love might.

You need bullying laws because children are almost never prosecuted for assault and battery or common assault. If an adult did the things to an adult that children do to each other they would face jail time and probably a lawsuit.

Viva Cristo Rey · « **Reply #4 on:** September 19, 2013, 09:01:28 PM »

Hollywood celebrities are a bunch of dysfunctional hypocrits TV movies all day long promotes bullying. Especially obnoxious reality tv shows.

poche · « **Reply #5 on:** September 20, 2013, 11:00:47 PM »

Rather than focus on politics what I thinkis really impressicve is that the little boy asked for something for his sister rather than a toy for himself. One of teh miracles for the beatification of St Sharbel involved a hunchback woman who went to the shrine to pray for someone else and she was the one who was cured.

OHCA · « **Reply #6 on:** September 20, 2013, 11:29:08 PM »

Quote from: poche

Rather than focus on politics what I thinkis really impressicve is that the little boy asked for something for his sister rather than a toy for himself. One of teh miracles for the beatification of St Sharbel involved a hunchback woman who went to the shrine to pray for someone else and she was the one who was cured.

That would be nice Poche. But I think it's a contrived story.

Frances · « **Reply #7 on:** September 20, 2013, 11:32:10 PM »

It's very pc to be on the anti-bullying bandwagon right now. Not that I think it is ever right or justifiable, but neither is raising kids to be wimps by tattling or punishing them for fighting back. I got bullied way back in 1969 in grade three by the two boys whom the new, inexperienced teacher placed on either side of me at a "table" of six desks. One of the boys could not keep his hands in their right place. His buddy egged him on. Nowadays, there'd be a lawsuit and all three of us would be in counseling to this day. After yet another pinch, I took matters into my own hands and smashed the boy's head with my lunch box, a plaid metal artifact with glass-lined thermos container. It was well worth the "paddling" from the principal because the problem stopped. My parents never got involved. Word soon spread not to mess with that Frances kid in 3-A! Victims need to be taught to defend themselves, how and when to act. Instead, we sit down the bullies and their victims and try to convince them to be "nithe" to everyone.

Cuthbert · « **Reply #8 on:** September 20, 2013, 11:33:32 PM »

The more one sees of human nature the more one prefers the company of one's dogs. I got into a few fights in school. I've always been rather sickly & am not gregarious, I suppose this accounted for a lot of it. There never were any really serious incidents thankfully but I used to carry as many pencils as I could, sharpened so the points were like ice-picks. My plan was that if things took a turn for the worse & I couldn't escape & was in danger of serious injury I would simply start stabbing. The pencil would of course break if I'd had to do so, hence the 7 or 8 or even more that I would fit carefully into my coat pockets. Violence must be met by violence.

Hobbledehoy · « **Reply #9 on:** September 20, 2013, 11:51:24 PM »

What worries me is that school children's bullying these days (well, at least this was true in my day) is becoming more like the behavioral patterns of incipient psychopaths and potential serial murders/sex-offenders. I wasn't often picked on at school (I ingratiated myself with all cliques and sectors that compose the complex hierarchy of school societal constructs: sometimes a skilled diplomat who carefully cultivates a reputation of being prone to spontaneous, unpredictable bouts of acute onset borderline personality disorder - or a preppy kid who is willing to tutor even the most abandoned "lost cause" - is more effective than a handy shank), but my principle bully clearly showed signs of a profoundly obsessive and dysfunctional adolescent who was doomed to become some sort of disturbed offender because of the clear signs of his psycho-sɛҳuąƖ fixations on me and others.

It's like Jesse Pomeoy is back from the dead in these kids... :tinfoil:

poche · « **Reply #10 on:** September 25, 2013, 12:44:37 AM »

Here is something I think is ridiculous;
Usually, when a mercy rule becomes a bone of contention it's because the policy isn't instituted soon enough, until after a game is already far out of reach. Yet in one Northern California community the opposite is unfolding, with parents furious about a new rule that they feel is cheating their children and coaches of football and money wasted on fines.

As reported by Sacramento NBC affiliate KCRA, the Northern California Federation Youth Football League (NCFYFL) instituted stiff new penalties for any teams that beat opponents by 35 points or more. Specifically, those teams will be fined $200 and their coaches will be suspended from all league activities for two weeks. The penalty is a drastic change for the league of 7-13 year-olds, which previously issued teams with a warning following such blowouts and required a written description that detailed what the victorious team had done to try and keep scores low.

Similar penalties are occasionally installed by other youth leagues, but they usually don't kick in until the disparity in score between the teams is almost twice as much as the 35 points being used by the NCFYFL.

With the new, harsher penalties, some players have begun insisting that their development is being hurt. One team has stopped attempting any field goals, leaving kicker James McHugh unable to attempt any scoring kicks except points after touchdowns. That's a problem for a 13-year-old who hopes to serve as a high school placekicker in fall 2014.

McHugh's mother, Kelly McHugh, told KCRA that players on her son's team are afraid to score once they get a lead for fear that their coaches will be penalized and the team won't be able to play the following week.

"Now they are afraid their coaches are going to get suspended and they are not going to have a coach to come out here and play football," McHugh told KCRA.

Naturally, the controversial issue has advocates on both sides, with NCFYFL Deputy Commissioner Robert Rochin claiming the rule is a pro-active attempt to keep more kids interested in the sport while teaching others how to be good sports.

"We lose a lot of football players because their teams lose so badly," Rochin told KCRA. "If they are constantly getting beat, who wants to play anymore? We lose kids all season long because of that.

"It's not hurting the kids, it's teaching them compassion for the other team. It's teaching them sportsmanship."

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/california-youth-football-mercy-rule-inflames-parental-passions-103325382.html