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Author Topic: Big weddings  (Read 1514 times)

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Offline ServusSpiritusSancti

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Big weddings
« on: August 03, 2011, 09:21:11 AM »
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    • Is it just me, or do big weddings seem like a waste of money? I look at all these people who get married, and it seems like every wedding they go all out. Really, I find some of these wedding traditions to be dumb. Like the couple telling people what gifts to get them for a wedding shower gift. I mean, people spend thousands of dollars on weddings when they could only spend a couple hundred and save their money for a house or for their future children.

    I've noticed it's particularly the woman that gets caught up in spotlight. She feels the pressure from the modern world to have a big wedding and go all out. I'm a man, so perhaps it's easy for me to say I don't care for big weddings, especially since I'm not even married. But it's more-so because I'm a Traditional Catholic, and most Traditional Catholic weddings are relatively small. And when/if I get married, I want mine to be rather small as well. I don't care about keeping up with everyone else by having a big wedding of my own. What matters most to me is that I marry a Traditional Catholic girl and have a Traditional Catholic wedding.

    Any thoughts?
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    Offline wallflower

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #1 on: August 03, 2011, 09:32:10 AM »
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    • Well, wedding philosophies aside, trad Catholic weddings are often naturally huge because of huge families in attendance.  :wink:

    If you marry an only child, you have better chances at a smaller wedding. Marry the youngest of 12, whose brothers and sisters are already grown and having their own families of 6-8, and whose parents have many siblings and large families themselves and you might not have much choice about having a big wedding.

    Here's another rather recent thread on wedding size. http://www.cathinfo.com/catholic.php/Climbing-out-of-Wedding-Debt
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    Offline ServusSpiritusSancti

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #2 on: August 03, 2011, 09:41:56 AM »
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    • The amount of people in attendance only plays a small role in what I was gettting at. I was refering in particular to all the unnecessary money spent at big weddings.
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    Offline parentsfortruth

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #3 on: August 03, 2011, 04:29:40 PM »
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    • Big does not have to mean expensive. My husband is the youngest of 9, and I am the oldest of 6, and my wedding was NOT expensive. We spent about $3,000 including the rings, the dress, the flowers, and the reception.

    Ours was on a Saturday. It was at 10am. Our reception went until about 3-4pm. The reception wasn't this big nighttime party with a ton of hooliganism, like most weddings are now days.

    My parents could not afford to throw me a big party, and I didn't expect one. My mother-in-law is a widow, so we weren't expecting a ton from her end. She did help a lot though out of kindness, considering the rest of her children are protestant, so she wanted to make it special.

    My father's family is all novus ordo (he has 11 siblings), and (fancy that) only one showed up for the actual wedding (and SHE is protestant!) My one uncle who was a widower of one of my aunts, who was a convert to the faith, came to the wedding too. My dad's sister and her husband "popped in" after they were done with their bowling league for the day. I so wish they hadn't, as they came inappropriately dressed in their bowling uniforms, and it was really embarrassing.

    My mother's one sister showed up. Many of the people that were in attendance were from Church, and were mutual friends of my mother-in-law and myself, and a few of my husband's then "friends."

    All of my brothers and sisters were there, and my husband's siblings were all there as well. One of his sisters got sick with a very bad cold the day before the wedding, and didn't make it, but was in town when the wedding took place, and was very sad she couldn't make it.

    Big does not have to mean expensive.

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    Offline Darcy

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #4 on: August 04, 2011, 09:43:54 PM »
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    • It's an industry and the indutry has exploited a situation and convinced people to compete with each other in who can spend the most money to make the bigggest impression. As is per usual a certain team dominates the industry. Is it any wonder weddings have become so crass and material.

    It is much more challenging and creative to be able to pull off a simple and meaningful  spiritual wedding ceremony and celebration.
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    Offline herbert

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #5 on: August 08, 2011, 07:35:59 PM »
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    Offline parentsfortruth

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #6 on: August 08, 2011, 07:45:23 PM »
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    • Quote from: herbert
    these people are really cheap:

    http://consumerist.com/2010/10/mcdonalds-offering-400-wedding-packages.html


    Wow, a "Mc Wedding." That's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.
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    Matthew 5:37

    But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil.

    My Avatar is Fr. Hector Bolduc. He was a faithful parish priest in De Pere, WI,

    Offline gladius_veritatis

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #7 on: August 08, 2011, 08:03:03 PM »
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    • I wonder if it can be super-sized?
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    Offline herbert

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #8 on: August 08, 2011, 08:14:26 PM »
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    • lol
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    Offline Zenith

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #9 on: August 09, 2011, 02:12:06 AM »
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    • Quote from: SpiritusSanctus
    Is it just me, or do big weddings seem like a waste of money? I look at all these people who get married, and it seems like every wedding they go all out. Really, I find some of these wedding traditions to be dumb. Like the couple telling people what gifts to get them for a wedding shower gift. I mean, people spend thousands of dollars on weddings when they could only spend a couple hundred and save their money for a house or for their future children.

    I've noticed it's particularly the woman that gets caught up in spotlight. She feels the pressure from the modern world to have a big wedding and go all out. I'm a man, so perhaps it's easy for me to say I don't care for big weddings, especially since I'm not even married. But it's more-so because I'm a Traditional Catholic, and most Traditional Catholic weddings are relatively small. And when/if I get married, I want mine to be rather small as well. I don't care about keeping up with everyone else by having a big wedding of my own. What matters most to me is that I marry a Traditional Catholic girl and have a Traditional Catholic wedding.

    Any thoughts?


    Yes I'm a guy and I hope to marry one day and I agree fully. I would much rather spend the money on the honeymoon and the house. Considering so marriages go down the drain, it is such a waste of money.  
    I think for some its a competition and a popularity contest.
    Another thing I can't stand is the crop top wedding dress look which almost everyone goes for while their friends stand around and say, "Doesn't she look just gorgeous!" when she looks cheap and undressed and the same as every other half dressed bride.

    Wouldn't you want to look pure, beautiful and modest, before God, your husband, and all your family on your wedding day!

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    Offline MrsZ

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #10 on: August 12, 2011, 02:49:29 PM »
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    • I agree with this sentiment.  It's the Sacrament and the Ceremony that matters the most.  I think that the family should help out by providing the food following the ceremony ... it's awesome when the ladies of the family know how to sew and can provide the dress(es) ... flowers can be from someone's garden ... there doesn't need to be live music .. but if there are musicians in the family, maybe some background music can be provided for the reception.  

    I also agree with having an early wedding and reception.  The food can be lighter and you wouldn't be expected to provide alcoholic beverages.  There is no chance of having a raucous, all night party with access to an open bar.  That's absurd, and expensive and is just asking for trouble.

    My H and I were mostly on our own to provide our wedding. We paid for my dress (half off to begin with and then my grandmother paid the other half) the flowers and the cake.  My grandmother provided her house and homemade food and some champagne for toasting.  We didn't have a honeymoon, or limo and or music/dancing.  My uncle took the pictures "for free" (although you basically get what you pay for when someone isn't a professional...but it was okay).  

    It all worked out okay.  We've been married for 21 years and maybe someday we'll have a honeymoon!  :laugh1:
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    Offline ServusSpiritusSancti

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    Big weddings
    « Reply #11 on: August 12, 2011, 04:38:30 PM »
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    • Quote from: Zenith
    Quote from: SpiritusSanctus
    Is it just me, or do big weddings seem like a waste of money? I look at all these people who get married, and it seems like every wedding they go all out. Really, I find some of these wedding traditions to be dumb. Like the couple telling people what gifts to get them for a wedding shower gift. I mean, people spend thousands of dollars on weddings when they could only spend a couple hundred and save their money for a house or for their future children.

    I've noticed it's particularly the woman that gets caught up in spotlight. She feels the pressure from the modern world to have a big wedding and go all out. I'm a man, so perhaps it's easy for me to say I don't care for big weddings, especially since I'm not even married. But it's more-so because I'm a Traditional Catholic, and most Traditional Catholic weddings are relatively small. And when/if I get married, I want mine to be rather small as well. I don't care about keeping up with everyone else by having a big wedding of my own. What matters most to me is that I marry a Traditional Catholic girl and have a Traditional Catholic wedding.

    Any thoughts?


    Yes I'm a guy and I hope to marry one day and I agree fully. I would much rather spend the money on the honeymoon and the house. Considering so marriages go down the drain, it is such a waste of money.  
    I think for some its a competition and a popularity contest.
    Another thing I can't stand is the crop top wedding dress look which almost everyone goes for while their friends stand around and say, "Doesn't she look just gorgeous!" when she looks cheap and undressed and the same as every other half dressed bride.

    Wouldn't you want to look pure, beautiful and modest, before God, your husband, and all your family on your wedding day!



    I completely agree with you! Yeah, I can't stand the way the brides dress these days either.
    Logged
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