Author Topic: Attendance at non-Catholic weddings (Read 2903 times)

SoldierOfChrist · « **on:** May 09, 2013, 12:56:18 PM »

My wife and I have been invited to the wedding of a novus ordo woman and a divorced Greek Orthodox man. The vows will be exchanged at a surf club. Are we obligated not to attend? What have others of you done when in similar circuмstances? Does attendance necessarily signify approval? Because if we don't attend, then we will most certainly lose a friend who is very important to us.

I thought of a similar dilemma. At sporting events, when the national anthem is played, I stand silently while everyone else stands with hand on heart. I stand, basically, out of respect for everyone else's feelings. The anthem itself is filled with sentimentality bordering on religiosity. Our flag is held up as an idol to be worshipped rather than merely a symbol representative of our nation's autonomy. I stand out of respect for the strong feelings that people associate with the anthem and with loved ones they have lost or who are currently serving overseas. At the same time, I don't approve of the anthem or the religious fervor with which people in this country are expected to embrace patriotism. This country was colonized by a country who outlawed the Holy Mass and killed Catholic priests on sight. Our nation was founded by freemasons of English origin, enemies of the Church, and became a shining haven for all walks of protestantism, still remains so, yet shunned Catholics, saying "Irish need not apply", and was hostile towards Italian and Spanish immigrants. Catholicism is still stomped on in this country and we are leading the world in murdering innocent, un-baptised babies. But I stand, because I know that people won't understand my whole perspective by my sitting. Rather, they will no longer listen to what I have to say as they label me an American-hater and enemy to their family members who are serving. That label couldn't be farther from the truth, so I avoid the situation entirely and stand silently out of respect for them and their families.

Could attendance at the above-mentioned wedding be looked at the same way? If we don't attend, then we are no longer friends. They don't want to hear about how we will pray for their conversion. They will take it as an offence against them and a severence of our relationship. What would you do? What have you done in similar circuмstances?

Matto · « **Reply #1 on:** May 09, 2013, 12:59:53 PM »

I once went to an eastern orthodox wedding of one of my cousins. I stood in the back and didn't do anything. I hope it was not a sin, thought I don't know, it might have been a sin. I know the Dimond brothers say it is a sin, but I don't know what the SSPX says about it. Maybe I should ask my priest.

Mithrandylan · « **Reply #2 on:** May 09, 2013, 01:02:23 PM »

I don't see how you could possibly go. The Orthodox have valid marriage and if the man is divorced and getting remarried you are attending an event that is a formalization of adultery. Nevermind that the woman, if baptized (and raised?) Catholic is committing grave sin by marrying outside the church, even aside from entering into a covenant of adultery

Frm phone

Incredulous · « **Reply #3 on:** May 09, 2013, 01:07:29 PM »

An SSPX priest once advised that it was acceptable to attend such weddings for the purpose of maintaining family relations.

The thinking is, if you were to boycott the wedding, you risk breaking future communications.

I don't know if I completely agree with this advise.

In the cases where, it is a non Catholic wedding service, of family members I wouldn't go.

Parents consenting to attend such services of their children are basically endorsing the abomination of a non Catholic rite. If they say otherwise, they are deluding themselves.

The same logic can apply to a Novus ordo sacrament of marriage.
You can go, reluctantly, but do not participate in the new liturgy.

You will be a "stand-out", but you are merely being a witness, to the one Holy Roman Catholic church, to the discomfort of the newChurch faithful.

Mithrandylan · « **Reply #4 on:** May 09, 2013, 01:17:34 PM »

Doesn't the fact that its certainly an invalid marriage plus the fact that ir involves a catholic ( under the obligation of the precepts of the church) rule out any question of attendance? I don't know, I'm asking.

SoldierOfChrist · « **Reply #5 on:** May 09, 2013, 01:28:41 PM »

Quote from: Mithrandylan

Doesn't the fact that its certainly an invalid marriage plus the fact that ir involves a catholic ( under the obligation of the precepts of the church) rule out any question of attendance? I don't know, I'm asking.

Mithandylan, you raise very good questions and certainly test my fortitude. May God bless you for your brutal honesty.

Nadir · « **Reply #6 on:** May 09, 2013, 05:24:28 PM »

What does it matter what the Dimond brothers or the SSPX say. Isn't it the Church that we take our cues from.

The man is divorced therefore this is not a marriage. Why would you attend? Your friendship (the only reason you give for going against your conscience) may stand the test, and it's certainly worth putting it to the test.

At at a surf club.... says it all! It's a farce. This couple have no idea what marriage is.

SoldierOfChrist · « **Reply #7 on:** May 09, 2013, 06:36:26 PM »

Quote from: Nadir

What does it matter what the Dimond brothers or the SSPX say. Isn't it the Church that we take our cues from.

The man is divorced therefore this is not a marriage. Why would you attend? Your friendship (the only reason you give for going against your conscience) may stand the test, and it's certainly worth putting it to the test.

At at a surf club.... says it all! It's a farce. This couple have no idea what marriage is.

The eastern orthodox church surprisingly allows for remarriage after divorce.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #8 on:** May 10, 2013, 12:34:15 AM »

Presuming you consider your N.O. friend to be Catholic, this passage would apply.

Quote from: Jone's Moral Theology article 126

A Catholic may not assist at the attempted marriage of a Catholic before a non-Catholic clergyman since this would imply a contempt for the Church's regulations and be a source of scandal.

I believe the N.O. church does allow for a good deal of variety in wedding ceremonies -- probably including a "surf club" wedding with no priest -- but the couple would have had to obtain the necessary permissions and have the permission of the Church to marry.

That having been said, my non-practicing N.O. brother recently married in a Protestant service and we attended.

Matthew · « **Reply #9 on:** May 10, 2013, 01:03:01 AM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Presuming you consider your N.O. friend to be Catholic, this passage would apply.

Quote from: Jone's Moral Theology article 126
A Catholic may not assist at the attempted marriage of a Catholic before a non-Catholic clergyman since this would imply a contempt for the Church's regulations and be a source of scandal.

I believe the N.O. church does allow for a good deal of variety in wedding ceremonies -- probably including a "surf club" wedding with no priest -- but the couple would have had to obtain the necessary permissions and have the permission of the Church to marry.

That having been said, my non-practicing N.O. brother recently married in a Protestant service and we attended.

Yes, but it was A) family, B) his first marriage, C) her first marriage, and D) he is already an apostate. He doesn't see the truth of the Catholic religion right now, having grown up N.O. and not having the (good will? grace? good fortune?) to look into the true Catholic Faith as you did.

The Novus Ordo has slain the faith of many. The biggest reason not to attend!

Marlelar · « **Reply #10 on:** May 10, 2013, 01:09:59 AM »

Why not just ask your priest?

Marsha

Incredulous · « **Reply #11 on:** May 10, 2013, 01:25:47 AM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: MaterDominici
Presuming you consider your N.O. friend to be Catholic, this passage would apply.

Quote from: Jone's Moral Theology article 126
A Catholic may not assist at the attempted marriage of a Catholic before a non-Catholic clergyman since this would imply a contempt for the Church's regulations and be a source of scandal.

I believe the N.O. church does allow for a good deal of variety in wedding ceremonies -- probably including a "surf club" wedding with no priest -- but the couple would have had to obtain the necessary permissions and have the permission of the Church to marry.

That having been said, my non-practicing N.O. brother recently married in a Protestant service and we attended.

Yes, but it was A) family, B) his first marriage, C) her first marriage, and D) he is already an apostate. He doesn't see the truth of the Catholic religion right now, having grown up N.O. and not having the (good will? grace? good fortune?) to look into the true Catholic Faith as you did.

The Novus Ordo has slain the faith of many. The biggest reason not to attend!

Oh goodness, that's a classic (cute) interaction of husband & wife answers.

Nadir · « **Reply #12 on:** May 10, 2013, 02:32:09 AM »

Quote from: Ryan

The eastern orthodox church surprisingly allows for remarriage after divorce.

Just about any non or anti-Catholic church does allow it but this is a Catholic forum where you would expect Catholic answers. Remarriage after divorce is tantamount to bigamy.

PereJoseph · « **Reply #13 on:** May 10, 2013, 03:04:17 AM »

Quote from: Ryan

Quote from: Nadir
What does it matter what the Dimond brothers or the SSPX say. Isn't it the Church that we take our cues from.

The man is divorced therefore this is not a marriage. Why would you attend? Your friendship (the only reason you give for going against your conscience) may stand the test, and it's certainly worth putting it to the test.

At at a surf club.... says it all! It's a farce. This couple have no idea what marriage is.

The eastern orthodox church surprisingly allows for remarriage after divorce.

They also allow the use of birth control and many of them try to deny Purgatory and the Immaculate Conception. One ought to ignore those people on these questions, since no matter what they teach on the subject, objectively they are wrong if they teach something besides what the Church teaches. It might be hard to hear it, but the wedding will not involve a valid sacrament, and the two people involved will afterwards be living in a state of public sin. Clearly, such a relationship cannot be encouraged, since one would thereby participate in the sin.

I know that, for myself, this has been probably the hardest part of practicing the Faith for me. I have plenty of relatives and family friends in bad situations like this one or at least a situation similar to it, and for the most part they have no understanding of the principles for which I take a stand and are only offended. At some point in the future, I plan to write an honest but discrete letter explaining my position the next time I am invited to such a thing. I will pray for you that you have the strength and courage to do the right thing and the consolation that should naturally come from that. Pax Christi tecuм.

magdalena · « **Reply #14 on:** May 10, 2013, 07:54:05 PM »

[quote:PereJoseph] At some point in the future, I plan to write an honest but discrete letter explaining my position the next time I am invited to such a thing. I will pray for you that you have the strength and courage to do the right thing and the consolation that should naturally come from that. Pax Christi tecuм.[/quote]

Exactly my sentiments, PereJoseph.