Author Topic: argument against having a large family (Read 10975 times)

love alabama · « **on:** September 20, 2011, 09:13:34 PM »

How can the argument that having a large family is unaffordable be countered?

Many people say that nowadays

Zenith · « **Reply #1 on:** September 21, 2011, 12:45:42 AM »

Yes many people think this though I generally don't think it is the case at all.

I think the biggest problem is people no longer no how to manage their money.
I have heard many people say this and on other occasions I hear them talk about how much money they waste on non essential and stupid things

They speak of holidays once or twice a year, buying expensive toys for children, paying fees for sport for their children, eating out too often, take away, expensive brand name clothes, dressing their children in new clothes and brand name clothes, having all the latest gagets and mod cons in their homes such as massive TV's, computers, new cars, rediculously expensive vet bills, etc, etc, etc..........................................................

People are so spoilt rotten and have to pleasure themselves all the time and then they complain they have no money.

How about they not go on holidays all the time, give their child a cardboard box to play with instead of some rediculously expensive toy made in China, learn to cook instead of eating out, buy cheaper and second hand clothes, and start to prioritise on what is necessary and what isn't.

This is a great frustration for me at the stupidity of people and money. Why do you need to pay someone to bath and polish your dogs nails twice a week?

Why do you need to pay $600 to remove a tumor from a mouse that you paid $1.50 for?

Arrrhhhh :smash-pc:

Zenith · « **Reply #2 on:** September 21, 2011, 12:54:22 AM »

My parents were never rich or even comfortably well off and yet we survived and always had a roof, a bed and food on the table because they new how to manage money.
This is something many people in even traditional circles do not teach their children.

Even for those who don't waste their money and are still struggling, I think that if it is meant to be, then God will provide. If you look at many of the Saints, they grew up in poverty.

In our modern day there is little sense of community. If someone is struggling and you have some spare cash, help them out with an interest free loan. My parent's friends did this and because of this we were able to buy a property and pay them back.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #3 on:** September 21, 2011, 01:10:16 AM »

Zenith said:

Quote

People are so spoilt rotten and have to pleasure themselves all the time and then they complain they have no money.

Novus Ordo families who are rich will use NFP so as not to inconvenience their lifestyle; you could almost make a statement that the more rich they are, the less they will want a large family. These people could fill their houses up with kids like the Duggars with ease and still have breathing room, but they don't, while poor people throughout history have lived virtually on top of each other!

They just use money as an excuse. In reality a kid is distinctly unglamorous and un-jet-set. A kid cramps your lifestyle -- let alone kids with an "s."

Raoul76 · « **Reply #4 on:** September 21, 2011, 01:14:25 AM »

By the way, Tele said something about me in another thread that I'm celibate not because I'm holy but because I don't "get it," meaning I'm not a family man. About that he is 100% bang-on. I am not holy and I am not a family man. I want to be holy though; and if my vocation to sanctify myself were fatherhood, I would do it. But it's not my vocation; which could be construed as my "not getting it." I am more of a priest "father" than a father father. I just am not a daddy kind of guy. And that is perfectly legitimate. I am allowed to not be married and not have children; I just don't get to have sex. Tele is making it sound like celibate people have to be at least potentially fathers or something like that, which is untrue, celibacy is more perfect, and you don't have to have a "temptation" to fatherhood to make your celibacy pleasing to God. The Virgin Mary did not want a bundle of children either, and was surprised to have the one or the One she got.

That being said, I have a great respect for good fathers since they are so rare and because it is so different from what I am.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #5 on:** September 21, 2011, 08:06:46 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

Zenith said:
Quote
People are so spoilt rotten and have to pleasure themselves all the time and then they complain they have no money.

Novus Ordo families who are rich will use NFP so as not to inconvenience their lifestyle; you could almost make a statement that the more rich they are, the less they will want a large family. These people could fill their houses up with kids like the Duggars with ease and still have breathing room, but they don't, while poor people throughout history have lived virtually on top of each other!

They just use money as an excuse. In reality a kid is distinctly unglamorous and un-jet-set. A kid cramps your lifestyle -- let alone kids with an "s."

Spot on.

I know plenty who openly admit such. It is also nearly impossible to raise children when Mom is working outside the home. They have to go to daycare until they are 5. 5 years of paying $600-$1000 a month for one child at daycare is about all they can justify.

Caius39 · « **Reply #6 on:** September 21, 2011, 08:16:41 AM »

Its the me myself and I mentality. Lack of self sacrifice.

Why hhave children if others are going to raise them :confused1:

'.....Now if God so clothe the grass of the field, which is day to day, and to-morrow is cast into the oven, how much more for you, O ye of little faith.....' Fourteenth Sunday after Pentecost gospel extract

I am expecting our 12th child we live in a 4 bedroomed house and manage very well. We learn together, have fun together and most importantly pray together. Our prayers are not always answered as we would like but they are answered in good time.

Okay our kids don't go on expensive team sports events but they do appreciate the times when they can have treats ie days out, horse riding lessons etc. Its things like that that they don't take for granted and I believe that the more we give to our children the more they expect. If they earn the right they appreciate things and learn far more.

We have a saying in our house if we work hard we play hard. We work hard for each other and God and do our best.

If you plan on affording a family you will never have one IMHO how can you save money to afford a family there would never be enough money. Every child is a blessing and that's the treasure not the money

gunfighter · « **Reply #7 on:** September 21, 2011, 08:17:11 AM »

The major underlying factor is that most people have bought into the American Dream and discarded the virtue of hope. To most people including trads, a materialistic life is the key to being happy. Stuff has replaced the anticipation of heaven. If kids get in the way, then they must be discarded.

s2srea · « **Reply #8 on:** September 21, 2011, 08:17:24 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

The Virgin Mary did not want a bundle of children either, and was surprised to have the one or the One she got.

I'm open to being corrected, but I don't think it was about her not wanting a bundle of children, as much as preserving the temple which made and gave life to The Word... ?

I was talking to someone yesterday (protestant) about celibacy, and why purity its so treasured by Catholics. I said that its about self depravation, and glorification of God through that depravation. He said, at one point, something to the extent of, "Oh thats right you think Mary was a virgin, so that makes sense you would make it important."

s2srea · « **Reply #9 on:** September 21, 2011, 08:19:35 AM »

Quote from: Caius39

If you plan on affording a family you will never have one IMHO how can you save money to afford a family there would never be enough money. Every child is a blessing and that's the treasure not the money

That is so true, I say it all the time! You cant 'plan' a family out! You can know if you have stable job, but look at some of the parents here living on 30k a year! What an example!

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #10 on:** September 21, 2011, 09:08:55 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

By the way, Tele said something about me in another thread that I'm celibate not because I'm holy but because I don't "get it," meaning I'm not a family man. About that he is 100% bang-on. I am not holy and I am not a family man. I want to be holy though; and if my vocation to sanctify myself were fatherhood, I would do it. But it's not my vocation; which could be construed as my "not getting it." I am more of a priest "father" than a father father. I just am not a daddy kind of guy. .......

Raoul, I've been meaning to ask you, are you a single child?

Caius39 · « **Reply #11 on:** September 21, 2011, 09:12:41 AM »

Does being a single child make a difference do you think?

I am a single child and from a protestant background but like I said earlier I'm expecting our 12th.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #12 on:** September 21, 2011, 09:25:17 AM »

Quote from: Caius39

Does being a single child make a difference do you think?

I am a single child and from a protestant background but like I said earlier I'm expecting our 12th.

I don't know. That's why I asked. I would like to know if being a single child has any influence on a person's inclination to have children. I know my interaction with my younger siblings (rascals they may be) influences me to want to have kids. I think it might be relevant considering the average number of children per couple is about 1-2.

Congrats on your 12th btw.

Caius39 · « **Reply #13 on:** September 21, 2011, 09:39:01 AM »

Thanks for the congrats :dancing:

I think it influenced me to have at least more than one child as I felt lonely on my own. I never envisaged having 12 though :roll-laugh1: but coming from a protestant background I thought maybe 2 or 3 but after converting we gave ourselves over to God's will.

Don't get me wrong it is hard having so many children but Our Lord never gives us more than we can manage and at the end of the day His will be done

sedetrad · « **Reply #14 on:** September 21, 2011, 10:24:54 AM »

In my work experience, I have seen adults, who were single children, have multiple children because they do not want their children to be lonely like they had been growing up. I have also seen the opposite where the single child was truly spoiled and as a married adult cannot conceive of having children out of a personal sense of selfishness.

Please notice in the above discussion, I am referring to married adults and not single adults.