Author Topic: Are looks important in choosing a mate? (Read 16664 times)

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #25 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:11:42 PM »

Quote from: Luker

I found a little book reprinting St John Chrysostom's Homilies on Marriage. It has some very interesting thoughts from the great Saint and doctor of the Church. One quote that particularly stood out in mind was this (paraphrasing from memory);

If you marry a woman for her beauty you will be happy for a month; if you marry a woman for her money you will be happy for a year; if you marry a woman for her Christian virtue you will be happy for the rest of your life.

Sound advice I think for both men and women seeking a spouse.

And this quote from St Augustine comes to mind as well:

Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked.

Saint Augustine

I agree that beauty is not enough. If you are going to marry someone you must truly love them. Without love the marriage will not last. Looks are not enough.

I realize there are times when I find someone physically attractive, but that they are not suitable for marriage at the same time. So looks alone are certainly not enough.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #26 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:12:51 PM »

Quote from: SenzaDubbio

Physical looks are of the least importance. If they are (traditional) Catholic is of great importance.

One thing I do notice is that a woman's holiness can take her from being an average bird into being very attractive.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #27 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:17:32 PM »

Quote from: stbrighidswell

Quote from: Marlelar
Looks fade, character lasts.

Looks only matter so long as YOU like the look of your spouse, regardless of what others may think. Trophy wives/husbands have about as much depth as that bowling trophy that sits on the shelf.

Read a chapter in the book of Proverbs everyday for practical advice on what kind of man to be and what type of woman to look for.

Marsha

So there is no such thing as a good looking or attractive Traditional Catholic, if they are good looking they only amount to being a dumb trophy.

Attractiveness is not the problem its vanity. A good looking person is not automatically vain. In IF's case he has a little vanity because he wants the good looking girl to equal his own good looks so that bolsters his own ego. That's vanity.
Give the guy a break though , he might just suffer from immaturity as well.

I think these are the words of an envious person.

I want a person to match my looks because it is only fair since everyone wants someone who is good looking. I think its fair to aim for someone who is of the same caliber as yourself. To go too high is asking too much. To go too low is settling for less.Love can over ride this, but love is not usually what brings 2 people together in the beginning. It is attraction.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry an attractive person so long as you truly love them. If this statement is wrong then please provide some catechism then maybe I will start working on my own beliefs.

wallflower · « **Reply #28 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:21:05 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
I think that everybody, both single and married, appreciates a good looking member of the opposite sex when they see one.

It's your first mistake to presume that everyone puts the same amount of importance on the same things that you do.

Yep. That side of me shut down when I married. I didn't realize it until about 5 years into marriage when I met someone who really struck me as very good-looking. At that point I realized I had gone 5 years without ever noticing another person besides my husband. Yet before marriage I met good looking people pretty often. So every once in a blue moon the flesh puts in its two cents that you have to overcome but so, so, so much of it is mental and spiritual and based on whether you're even open to noticing another person's looks in the first place.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #29 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:22:14 PM »

Based one what some of you are saying...

It sounds like you are dealing with issues of communism. Communism says that everyone is equal.

On the contrary, God says that there is a hierarchy to things. Good looking people tend to be at the top of this hierarchy. The also tend to marry into each other. This is how it is.

Look around you. When you see someone who is good looking...look at who they are with. Are they with someone who is also good looking? Chances are they are. This is the natural order of things.