IMO, 18 is too young to marry. Anywhere from 22-25 would be a good age to marry. There's nothing wrong with dating at 18, but marriage at 18 is too young. If I were you, I would just pray that God sends another girl into your life (old enough to marry). God clearly didn't will that you marry this girl.

If you're too young to marry, then you're too young to date.

I didn't see this before MrsZ:

He also says things now like the girl was for some reason overcome with emotion during choir practice and fell to her knees to prayer due to some disturbing thoughts.  

You'd have to have been there.  The choir practice before she had been paying me attention.  In this one she seemed like she was about too but instead she turned around and was kneeling.  She seemed a bit perturbed.  She certainly was turned around and kneeling - and it was peculiar enough that the choir director asked where she was.  Whether or not you interpret the action the way I do is up to you

More recently we are learning that this girl showed a "love-lorn" look on her face on several occasions during Mass

There are many different kinds of looks MrsZ.  I don't know why you'd find it hard to believe.  Sometimes a girl smiles at you, sometimes she looks in a longing half-melancholy way.  I don't expect the latter to be teasing.

 

.. and that she was thwarted in her attempt to speak to him prior to Confession, by her interfering (and obviously "jealous") mother.

No, that's not what happened, and not what I said.  The confession line was on the other side of church.  She first walked past me on my side, and when she did she tried to speak to me, saying "I'm sorry" - being very upset - really upset.  I didn't raise my head because I was praying, but really, I'm ashamed of doing that - I recognize it partly as false piety, partly as trying to appear unconcerned, and partly because I was genuinely unconcerned.  I didn't realize what a big deal it was.

When she got in line on the other side of church curiosity got the better of me and I looked over.  She seemed to get very upset with her mother and snap at her.  And then her mother sighed.  Certainly not because of jealousy.  Why would you suggest such a thing.

Listen MrsZ - this is just what I remember.  I don't know why you too decided to start casting aspersions on my sanity.

I don't know ...  something seems wrong here.  There seems to be paranoia, victim-identity thinking and also strange delusional-fantasy type stuff.

No, it really isn't.  I do think there's something wrong with women though, when I find them so willing to attack the veracity of what I'm saying.  This priest and this father, and one of the older girls, who I thought was a friend, and her mother, did what some of the other posters on this thread did.  They decided I was sick, twisted, for liking a young girl, and they were never going to admit anything I said about what happened.  Now I see you taking the same tack, I can't help wondering if your motivations are coloring what you're saying.

 

I have a really hard time believing that Telesphorus is being maligned due to the impact he's having on "love-lorn" young virgins who are being prevented from contact  with him due to evil teachers, administrators, fathers and priests.  

Why not?  You've heard plenty of people on here suggest it's "disordered" to like a young virgin.  Do you really think the people at that church are any different?  

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

IMO, 18 is too young to marry. Anywhere from 22-25 would be a good age to marry. There's nothing wrong with dating at 18, but marriage at 18 is too young. If I were you, I would just pray that God sends another girl into your life (old enough to marry). God clearly didn't will that you marry this girl.

If you're too young to marry, then you're too young to date.

Not exactly. Relationships these days generally take anywhere from 2-5 years to "mature" if you will before marriage takes place, with the exception of some of the modern-day couples who think they're ready to marry after only a year or so. My brother dated for 5 years before marriage came, and he started dating at 18.

Quote from: MaterDominici

It does have to do with maturity, but it is our society (call it feminist/liberal or whatever you want) that causes young ladies, by and large, to not be very mature at age 18.

I don't believe women become so much more mature after 18, to tell you the truth.  I think this concept of "maturity" (other than physical maturity) - especially when it comes to women, is something of a myth.      

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It's possible for a young lady to be ready for marriage at that age, just not probable given the way things are today.

Well the mission priest said that a high school diploma was good enough.  I certainly think it is.  Like I said before - if a girl is old enough for college she's old enough to marry.

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A homeschooled young lady from a Catholic family has a better chance than most at being ready for marriage at 18.

It's absolutely clear in my mind that resistance to marriage of girls at 18 has nothing to do with maturity and everything to do with social mores.

What is your basis for the opinion that women stop maturing at 18? I don't think I've ever heard anything like that before.

is something of a myth.

If my daughter's were 18 I would definitely make sure you stayed away with that sort of mentality...

but hey- blame the evil priests and the parents

It's the anger and the petty attacks on the girls' father (who remember, she must love and respect dearly) and the priest and the SSPX.  My comment about your mental state had more to do with my perception that you were becoming obsessive about the girl, about the way the other's acted and that you really need to move on from this.

I don't know if you're right or if they're right.  Some of the things you said didn't add up to me .. I'm not going to list them here .. I'm saying that after spending far too long reading page after page of your side of the story ... there are still things not adding up for me.  

You still need to forgive, even when you're right.  You still need to act in charity even if other's have been unkind.  

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I don't believe women become so much more mature after 18, to tell you the truth.  I think this concept of "maturity" (other than physical maturity) - especially when it comes to women, is something of a myth.  

Wow. You really[/i] don't get it do you

You don't believe women become more mature after 18 and you think its a myth???  :roll-laugh2:

What is the basis for it?

The way older women behave is childish, generally more childish than the way younger women behave.  I find childishness off-putting.

Many relationships that result in marriage after a very short amount of time spent dating don't end up working out. Marriage is a big thing, you can't just date for a year and then say "Ok, let's get married".

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.  A year is too short?  SS - you're proving my point that the objections to my point of view are coming from non-Catholic sources - from this culture and its non-Christian attitudes.

Saying it takes a few years to get married is really just a hop skip and jump away from authorizing pre-marital cohabitation.  It's not normal to see a woman one is thinking about marrying for years without consummating the relationship.

 

It takes a bit more time that that. The SSPX has a dating web-site set up where the lowest age allowed is 18.

Don't you see SS, that's how your mind works.  The SSPX does something a certain way - ergo that's the way it should be done.