Marriage is so much more than just the honeymoon.
What else can I say?
Discord amongst families must be avoided as much as is possible, as it is a cause of great evils. It's up there with divorce on what it does to the children.
Do you think this Mr. Puerto Rican would be a good father-in-law if you managed to court/marry his daughter while he boils with rage? Do you really think that would be a good thing?
Yes, a good thing for a period of 1-2 weeks after the marriage. Yes, honeymoons are nice. But after that, it would be absolutely awful.
It's as if you're just looking forward to the licit pleasure of the honeymoon, and don't care much what happens after that.
Not saying you are literally, but I really can't see that you've given married life after the honeymoon much thought.
Do you know that women are very strongly attached to family? That they would severely resent a husband who costs her her family? That the husband can't be a replacement for her family? That women need a social network even more than men do? Etc.
Matthew
This is a very long thread.
Matthew makes good point above. If Tele was successful in acquiring a working relationship with miss virgin, and successful again in securing a marriage with her, he is now married into her family. Of course that means that he will have to deal with Mr. Puerto Rican on a regular basis for his duration. Tele will have to celebrate holidays with Mr Rico and see him at church every Sunday. If there's bad blood between the two, it won't make for a good situation. :dwarf:
The problem though, is that in current times, I don't believe that it would be an easy thing to find a family that would be entirely agreeable.
Therefore, those courting from outside of the Church, like the NO or elsewhere, a conversion would need to occur, and while she may convert, it's not likely that the rest of the family will jump on board, so, again, more family discord in the manner of religion and values.
While church is probably the best place to locate a potential spouse, as the likelihood of finding a devoted woman here, as opposed to elsewhere in the world, would be much greater, demand is probably higher than the supply and again, the family may not always be half-way agreeable, such as Mr Puerto Rican; and all this before an operable relationship can occur.
So, hanging out with any man's very young daughter (who is, if I understand correctly, homeschooled and therefore very sheltered and not very experienced with regards to dealing with many people in the manner that Tele is interested in) without his permission, or knowledge, if applicable, is going to be a sticky situation. Try looking at it from his point of view, Maybe they don't know you that well, or perhaps they're simply not prepared for a daughter to be out in the world courting a man, as in his mind, he's probably still getting used to the fact that she's over 16, sees her as a teenager, and therefore is probably not ready for that kind of adjustment (probably does not see his daughter as an adult yet). So he probably thinks it awkward (to say the least) that a man your age would be soliciting a romantic relationship with someone who he still thinks of as a child (even if there were no objections to your person). His objection would probably not be as great if Tele were ten years younger, as it would seem much more "normal", although he would still probably not be prepared for her engagement. Mr. Rico will probably need another 18-24 months to adjust to the fact that his daughter is indeed now an adult and has the faculties to make her own decisions (as he may be very used to making them for her).
This is America in the 21st century, and american family values are reality, and they will be part of this process as long as that's the case (unless Tele has a time-machine). Not that I defend them, but merely that, from my observations, that seems to be the way it is.
Although, it would be more appropriate if Mr. Rico would take you aside and explain himself man to man, rather than seeking your ejection from the congregation, as this is rather extreme, even in such a case.
Topic: America and courting 18-year-old virgins (Read 62918 times)