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Author Topic: Advice about Family  (Read 537 times)

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Offline Marys Anawim

Re: Advice about Family
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2020, 01:45:17 PM »
Quote from: Nadir on August 15, 2020, 04:54:08 PM
What is the grandma spoiling thing and how does than pan out?
Basically what usually happens is that I discover something that I want to implement for the family such as modesty or gluten free or no sugar (except for Sundays and feast days )or non toxic cleaning/beauty products or organic nourishing foods or not having our children watch certain movies or have too many toys and I will either talk to her about it as a regular conversation, but there have been other times where I have spoken privately to her. 
Then she may respect it for a little while, maybe a few days or weeks, but next thing I know she goes back to bringing over pizza, chik-fil-a, Clorox, letting the children watch or play video games for hours and sometimes things I have specifically said no to. Also she 95% of the time brings sugar (she enjoys sugar a lot and I believe it is her love language, but sugar is VERY bad for your health and highly addictive).
So these are just some examples but it ultimately undermines my authority...I think I am going to have to talk with the children and restrict her from coming over so often because I think she may be doing things spitefully because we have decided (after much prayer, discernment, and research) not to go to her house for obvious reasons.
Thank you all for your advice
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Offline forlorn

Re: Advice about Family
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2020, 04:47:26 PM »
Quote from: Marys Anawim on August 16, 2020, 01:45:17 PM
Basically what usually happens is that I discover something that I want to implement for the family such as modesty or gluten free or no sugar (except for Sundays and feast days )or non toxic cleaning/beauty products or organic nourishing foods or not having our children watch certain movies or have too many toys and I will either talk to her about it as a regular conversation, but there have been other times where I have spoken privately to her.
Then she may respect it for a little while, maybe a few days or weeks, but next thing I know she goes back to bringing over pizza, chik-fil-a, Clorox, letting the children watch or play video games for hours and sometimes things I have specifically said no to. Also she 95% of the time brings sugar (she enjoys sugar a lot and I believe it is her love language, but sugar is VERY bad for your health and highly addictive).
So these are just some examples but it ultimately undermines my authority...I think I am going to have to talk with the children and restrict her from coming over so often because I think she may be doing things spitefully because we have decided (after much prayer, discernment, and research) not to go to her house for obvious reasons.
Thank you all for your advice
I think you could try restricting how often your mother treats your kids. Like, you could come to an agreement that every once a week or once a month or whatever, she can treat them by giving them sweets or whatever. That way, she could show her affection without doing it so often as to instil bad habits in your kids.

I understand that you want to stop the problem now before it gets worse, but maybe instead of limiting how often she can visit straight away, you can give her one last ultimatum(so to speak) that she can either visit as often as she does and abide by your rules, or you'll stop letting her visit relatively rarely instead.

You could also try having your husband speak to her if it's a case of her ignoring your warnings because you're her child and she doesn't take you seriously(not saying it is, but it's a possibility - I know my paternal grandfather was far more wary of my mom than my dad). 
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