A Story Of The King And His Four Wives
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives. Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

 
The reason for me posting this story is to make the point that what we should look for is the state of someone’s soul and not necessarily whether they are 18 and beautiful. If we get side tracked and tie ourselves down with unrealistic notions that someone is an undesirable marriage prospect rapidly losing their fertility because they are past the age of 25 then we are missing the point of marriage.  Marriage is a sacrifice and is not necessarily an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful where everyone will marry a youthful gorgeous spouse.
We live in the real world and believe it or not some of us males will have to marry not so gorgeous horizontally gifted, vertically challenged ladies and some ladies will marry some of us rather ugly fat guys. That is how the cookie crumbles!
The question is, what is God’s will for us?
If Our Lord decides to give us a beautiful young spouse then so be it though if it is His will that we marry at not so beautiful young woman or that we not marry at all, then Thy will be done.
To some of us He gives 10 talents and to others he gives 1 or 2. It is what we do with them that counts. Will we invest them and receive 15 talents in return or will we bury them in the ground and have them taken from us because we did not make good use of what God has given us.
My mother was 36 when she married and I am one of 3 children. Admittedly had she married younger, perhaps I could have had more brothers and sisters though what we deal with in this life is not IF but IS. I am one of 3 very blessed children and i couldn’t ask for better more loving parents.
How old was your mother when she married? Was she 18? If not do you think you would have been more fortunate if she was 18 when she married?
If an extremely gorgeous young lady of 27 years was to approach you at your Church batting her eye lids and she was a good candidate for a Catholic wife, would you turn her down because she was “past her married by date”?

It is about each individual case.

This is obvious, IMO -- although it does not seem to matter much in the pages and pages of discussion inspired by Tele's situation.

General principles exist for a reason, but all has become rather fuzzy in these wild days.

If an extremely gorgeous young lady of 27 years was to approach you at your Church batting her eye lids and she was a good candidate for a Catholic wife, would you turn her down because she was “past her married by date”?

 :applause:  :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

Hey Matthew Are you trying to say I'm "lefebvre_fan"  or do you want me to change my Avatar?

No problem senor - I will change right away :)

When you are fully mature -- as in, you change little in a 5 year period, physically or otherwise.

That's not an official definition, but one that will have to do for purposes of this discussion.

I am not all that different than I was 5 years ago. I know a bit more, I'm more experienced in my profession, a bit wiser, perhaps -- but compared to how I changed physically/mentally/emotionally as a child, teenager or when I was in my early 20's -- it's a night and day difference.

On the one hand, we keep changing (maturing) until we die.

Nevertheless, there are some milestones that are very real.

I see this with little children, for example --

I have a 5 year old, a 3.5 year old, and a 1.75 year old. They're all relatively close in age, and any 2 of them can play together.

I give my 5 year old some scissors, and the 3.5 year old wants to play with them to -- "I guess..." but the 1.75 year old sometimes wants to do what they're doing. Much of the time, the two younger ones play along together on the same level.

But at some point, you have to draw the line "I'm not letting the one-and-a-half-year-old play with scissors!"

The difference between them is gradual, the lines are blurry, but the differences become very concrete and real in certain cases.

Just like no one would say the 1.5 year old should play with scissors like a 5 year old, no one would say an 18 year old is as "mature" as a 24 year old.

I realize there is no hard-and-fast standard of maturity for something like marriage, and that 18-year-olds vary in their maturity.

It's common sense that a 10-year difference doesn't mean as much if SHE is 35 and HE is 45, compared with her being 15 and him being 25. Why?

Obviously rapid change slows down once a certain level of maturity is reached.

Let's put it this way -- if you go to a 10 year High School reunion, everyone is going to be drastically different, especially those who didn't come to the re-union because they are a Catholic priest, a monk in Tibet, etc. the real unusual paths won't be able to make it to the reunion!

But I bet there is much less difference between the 10 year and the 20 year reunion. For the same reason I outlined above.