Author Topic: 18 year olds are not grown up (Read 6609 times)

Matthew · « **on:** March 29, 2011, 11:27:10 AM »

I was just thinking that 18 year olds are not grown up, no matter how you look at it.

They are sɛҳuąƖly mature, and some of them might (with God's grace) be able to start a Catholic family of their own, but I think it would be the exception rather than the rule.

18 year olds are not physically mature. Generally speaking, a 30 year old looks like a man, while an 18-year-old looks like a cross between a boy and a man. I've never met an 18 year old guy whose chest is as broad as a 28 year old's.

When I was 18, I could grow a beard -- sort of. I am a pretty hairy guy, and had to start shaving at 15. But I have pictures of myself at graduation, and my beard was NOT done developing at 18 1/2 when I graduated.

And intellectual/emotional maturity? Hahaha. Where would I begin?

Maybe if we had a different culture, where men were pulled out of childhood early to start managing the farm/ranch/family business at 15, they would be more emotionally/intellectually mature at 18. But what parents today rip off the last few years of childhood, and make their boy grow up "too fast"?

To get a truly mature 18 year old man, it would take actions that most people would consider, "Poor boy; he had to grow up too fast." That's how modern sensibilities would look at it. And by modern sensibilities, I mean MOST OF US READING THIS. Weren't you raised in the modern world? Come on. You have more modern sensibilities and traits in you than you realize.

To give you an example, imagine a 15 year old being forced out of high school -- forced to quit all his friends and extra-curricular activities -- to come home and manage a farm with employees. Now be honest, what would you think? "Poor boy had to grow up too fast!" Exactly.

In the middle ages, life was hard and people matured "early" like that all the time. Not so much today.

Can you say with a straight face that "life is hard" today? Yeah right.

Indeed, young people are less mature today. Few 18-year-olds are ready for Catholic marriage. Some might be ready for a serious life-long commitment like Catholic marriage, but the exception doesn't disprove the rule.

Matthew

Raoul76 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 29, 2011, 02:07:02 PM »

I agree. Life is complicated these days, and I'm not saying you have to go to college to understand it. I mean that most people will learn by trial-and-error that much of what the world offers is bunk, and then they have to go back and re-learn simplicity. I think this is often true for trads who grow up in the Church, then are allured by the world, then come back in. I don't think it's just former neo-pagans like me who have to learn the hard way, much of the time.

I would be very afraid to marry most 18-year old trad girls, for fear they'd drop out. It looks to me like the children are constantly falling away, since most of them are only going because of their parents. You have to have a special grace in our times.

I doubt Tele's love interest is as mature as he is making her out to sound. Stories about dropping to her knees in choir practice and making goo-goo eyes for a year are not what will change my, admittedly, non-eyewitness opinion.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 29, 2011, 02:52:40 PM »

My son is 18, will be 19 in about a month. While he is emotionally more mature than many his age, he is definitely not ready to be married and start a family. He knows that, as well, which is why he agrees having a "girl-friend" at this stage is just dangerous.

He doesn't have to be told to wash his socks anymore or take out the garbage, but he is still a boy in so many ways.

When I was 18, I was "in love" with the "greatest" guy. Uh. No. I've seen him since and I am so grateful the Lord saw fit to steer me in another direction even though I didn't know Who the Lord was.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #3 on:** March 29, 2011, 02:58:19 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

I was just thinking that 18 year olds are not grown up, no matter how you look at it.

They are sɛҳuąƖly mature, and some of them might (with God's grace) be able to start a Catholic family of their own, but I think it would be the exception rather than the rule.

18 year olds are not physically mature. Generally speaking, a 30 year old looks like a man, while an 18-year-old looks like a cross between a boy and a man. I've never met an 18 year old guy whose chest is as broad as a 28 year old's.

No one is arguing that an 18 year old man is fully grown or that the typical 18 year old man should marry. I'm sure in a just society with good jobs available for young men and widespread social opposition to fornication many men would marry at 18.

An 18 year old woman, however, is fully mature - and if you look at the laws 100 years ago, while many states required a young man to be 21 to marry without parental permission, the great majority of those states allowed 18 year old women to marry without parental permission.

A woman's role in marriage is to be a mother. It is my belief that the typical 18 year old is better prepared for motherhood than a college educated woman seeking a professional career.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #4 on:** March 29, 2011, 02:59:38 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Matthew
I was just thinking that 18 year olds are not grown up, no matter how you look at it.

They are sɛҳuąƖly mature, and some of them might (with God's grace) be able to start a Catholic family of their own, but I think it would be the exception rather than the rule.

18 year olds are not physically mature. Generally speaking, a 30 year old looks like a man, while an 18-year-old looks like a cross between a boy and a man. I've never met an 18 year old guy whose chest is as broad as a 28 year old's.

No one is arguing that an 18 year old man is fully grown or that the typical 18 year old man should marry. I'm sure in a just society with good jobs available for young men and widespread social opposition to fornication many men would marry at 18.

An 18 year old woman, however, is fully mature - and if you look at the laws 100 years ago, while many states required a young man to be 21 to marry without parental permission, the great majority of those states allowed 18 year old women to marry without parental permission.

A woman's role in marriage is to be a mother. It is my belief that the typical 18 year old is better prepared for motherhood than a college educated woman seeking a professional career.

18 is not "fully mature". How about the 18 year olds who just text on cell phones all day, is that fully mature?

Telesphorus · « **Reply #5 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:00:42 PM »

Quote from: Raoul76

I doubt Tele's love interest is as mature as he is making her out to sound. Stories about dropping to her knees in choir practice and making goo-goo eyes for a year are not what will change my, admittedly, non-eyewitness opinion.

The older girls make eyes too Raoul. They were far more eager and forward as well, once I met them.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:02:28 PM »

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

Quote from: Telesphorus
Quote from: Matthew
I was just thinking that 18 year olds are not grown up, no matter how you look at it.

They are sɛҳuąƖly mature, and some of them might (with God's grace) be able to start a Catholic family of their own, but I think it would be the exception rather than the rule.

18 year olds are not physically mature. Generally speaking, a 30 year old looks like a man, while an 18-year-old looks like a cross between a boy and a man. I've never met an 18 year old guy whose chest is as broad as a 28 year old's.

No one is arguing that an 18 year old man is fully grown or that the typical 18 year old man should marry. I'm sure in a just society with good jobs available for young men and widespread social opposition to fornication many men would marry at 18.

An 18 year old woman, however, is fully mature - and if you look at the laws 100 years ago, while many states required a young man to be 21 to marry without parental permission, the great majority of those states allowed 18 year old women to marry without parental permission.

A woman's role in marriage is to be a mother. It is my belief that the typical 18 year old is better prepared for motherhood than a college educated woman seeking a professional career.

18 is not "fully mature". How about the 18 year olds who just text on cell phones all day, is that fully mature?

I was talking about physical maturity SS. Learn to read the posts before responding to them. (and in the case of women, I don't believe that they change much mentally after 18 - at least, not developing in a way towards something positive - until they become mothers - the way for a young woman to become mature it to become a mother - the way for them to continue on as a silly teenager is to go the route they go today)

Matthew · « **Reply #7 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:04:49 PM »

When are women going to travel and broaden their horizons, see how different people live? See how big the world is? What really matters in life? etc.

You know, a SMART young lady is not going to waste her pre-marriage post-high school life on pursuits that won't help her femininity.

There are many things that would be assets to her future life as a mother or religious sister.

She could work in a nursing home, help teach, pursue medical training, etc.

Back to the issue of travel -- it can be expensive, but not always. What if she joins a volunteer group?

What's wrong with an 18 year old girl joining a "doctors without borders" group to go provide medical care to poor people in Mexico? She'd learn that not everyone lives like Americans, that people can be happy without electricity, etc.

She'd have to sleep in less than 5-star accomodations.

I'd say that would be a great experience -- an increase in maturity.

Maturity doesn't mean having sɛҳuąƖ partners, or paying for a college education. It can mean simply growing a bit older, and having more life experiences.

Matthew

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #8 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:04:51 PM »

Hey Tele, may I kindly suggest just not saying anything more on thie subject? There are many other things to discuss on this forum besides dating (and not long after marrying) an 18 year old.

MyrnaM · « **Reply #9 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:08:59 PM »

18 years old, especially these days, are definetly not grown up no matter how pretty they are, which was my point at the beginning of this subjects threads ago.

Matthew · « **Reply #10 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:13:19 PM »

Quote from: SpiritusSanctus

Hey Tele, may I kindly suggest just not saying anything more on thie subject? There are many other things to discuss on this forum besides dating (and not long after marrying) an 18 year old.

I think people will talk about what they want to talk about -- not necessarily what you want to talk about.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #11 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:22:57 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

What's wrong with an 18 year old girl joining a "doctors without borders" group to go provide medical care to poor people in Mexico?

Hah, that would be a bad idea, I'm sure. You see, the thing about Latins is they have a huge double standard. They don't care what happens to your daughter - so long as their daughter doesn't say hello to you.

When I talked to that girl's father - he made a point to say there were "ample" young women available. Just so long as his daughter didn't speak to me - he didn't care.

You know my mother travelled to Central America to visit her friends in the Peace Corps when she was 20 or so.

She did say she and her friend were warned, not to accompany any men.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #12 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:29:41 PM »

All these people say an 18 year old is "immature"

But who is more mature?

A 22 year old woman with two or three children or a 25 year old woman anxious to be married?

Telesphorus · « **Reply #13 on:** March 29, 2011, 03:50:04 PM »

Quote

A woman's role in marriage is to be a mother. It is my belief that the typical 18 year old is better prepared for motherhood than a college educated woman seeking a professional career.

This isn't me "trolling" - I'm quite serious. This is a very well-observed phenomenon, it's been known for over 100 years.

Quote

Women college graduates bear two-fifths as many children in proportion to native white women

Feminism Its Fallacies and Follies

There are serious reasons for my position. This isn't some quest for self-justification - I was familiar with this book and agreed with its conclusions years ago. I've always recognized the hand of feminism in opposing early marriage ever since I was young.

If men my age have a strong desire for younger women it's because God made us that way - there are very serious reasons for it. Right now there is a dramatic drop in fertility and a demographic collapse developing in nearly every formerly Catholic country. And it is precisely because of the attitudes I have heard expressed - attitudes of "Traditional" Catholics who simply take for granted the so-called "customs" of this cultureless country.

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=lower+fertility+women+graduates

s2srea · « **Reply #14 on:** March 29, 2011, 04:17:51 PM »

Quote

You know my mother travelled to Central America to visit her friends in the Peace Corps

Now THAT says a lot about you.

Cmon man, don't go discriminating and grouping the 'Latins'.You apparently don't understand their culture. Grow up you 31 year old.