Author Topic: 18 year old in a bit of a struggle (Read 3827 times)

vinceaglieri · « **on:** October 05, 2012, 12:53:49 PM »

Hey, I'd just like to ask for some prayers for my current struggle. I don't really know how to put this as it is alittle complicated; or perhaps I make it seem that way, but this is the gist of it: I've been living a pretty bad life as many 18 year olds in this day and age do, but by the grace of God I've found the True Catholic Faith and have found an SSPX chapel 20 minutes away from me. I've found and accepted the traditional Catholic Faith as the truth, but now there is the actual intrapersonal struggle to conform to that truth with my whole heart and soul and that just isn't happening for me. I even made a general confession about a month ago and finally started going to mass but i easily fall into despair because of lack of spiritual support from anyone. I feel like I am the one that is going to have to teach my family if not by words, at least by example, about the Catholic Faith. However I don't have anyone in my family or any friends that have the faith and whom I can rely on for support. I feel alone.

So I have some seemingly impossible emotional difficulties to overcome involving self-esteem and social-anxiety and a really bad family life which I would say is a big source of reppressed anger and frustration which serves to deter my progression in the faith. As well as a weak will and a lack of self-discipline and fortitude. I still have 10 highschool credits to complete because I basically wasted a year, my grade 12 year. I left my highschool about a year ago because of the personal problems I've just mentioned. But I must say that what also really pushed me to leave is the fact that most traditional Catholics, according to my understanding, do homeschooling anyways and so I thought that leaving school and doing it from home would allow me the time to really embrace the Faith more without the evil destractions of highschool life.

So any prayers are VERY MUCH appreciated, maybe some advice too

Thank you so much

Telesphorus · « **Reply #1 on:** October 05, 2012, 01:06:10 PM »

As a very young convert with social anxiety it might hard to find good advice and fellowship with your fellow Trads. Be very careful about the people who offer to "help" you.

Unfortunately Trad chapels are not typically welcoming places.

I wish I could give you advice as to how to get ahead.

Do you need a high school degree to get into community college or to get a job?

I'm still to this day under the impression that I should have quit high school when I turned 17, since at that point I was nearly fully grown and sick and tired of it. It would have saved me a great deal of trouble.

vinceaglieri · « **Reply #2 on:** October 05, 2012, 01:26:37 PM »

Yea when I first attended the chapel near by I got the feeling of not being welcomed or something, but I think that is just more because of my social anxiety. I generally feel not welcome and judged in all social situations.

As for getting into a community college, I believe that I can get into one without a highschool diploma, or I can get a GED and then go to college.

Its all what God wants, so the first step would be to maintain my life of Grace so that I can actually do the will of God.

Thanks for your reply!

Daegus · « **Reply #3 on:** October 05, 2012, 01:30:09 PM »

If your family will not be receptive to hearing the Catholic faith, don't waste your breath.

Your situation is actually remarkably similar to mine. We're both the same age, have both undergone a period of becoming aware of the true faith and we both have no one to rely on to spiritually support us. I too have "self-esteem" (or rather, self-worth) issues that I fight daily to reconcile and come to terms with.

I think the most important part is to stop caring about what people think of you and what they think in general. There will be people who will reject the truth and it will ultimately lead them to eternal perdition. There isn't anything you can do for these people but pray for them.

I think you're too worried about saving everyone else or being among a group of the "saved". You need to focus on your own salvation before you worry about saving anyone else. That's something I've learned.

Just remember, one of the greatest saints (and Doctor of the Church) in all of history was opposed by virtually the whole Church of his time. He didn't let that stop him from believing. Now there is a creed that we recite that is named after him.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #4 on:** October 05, 2012, 01:33:05 PM »

Quote from: vinceaglieri

Yea when I first attended the chapel near by I got the feeling of not being welcomed or something, but I think that is just more because of my social anxiety.

Well, the simple reality is they're not likely to welcome a newcomer. You might have to go a long time before someone says hello. Especially if they don't want something from you.

Only one person near my age (although with a big family and a daughter half my age) really tried to talk to me. I typically would speak to old people. That lasted about 9 months or so, then the girls started showing more interest.

Nadir · « **Reply #5 on:** October 05, 2012, 05:58:18 PM »

Welcome Vince,

It's nice to have you with us. Just a quick hello as I rush out the door.

Hang in there. Don't let the devil trick you into "easily fall(ing) into despair because of lack of spiritual support from anyone". There are good souls here who will help out where they can.

Don't even try "to teach my family if not by words, at least by example, about the Catholic Faith." They will be observing you and may give you a hard time. The time may come when they are prepared to see why you changed, but no need to rush it. Just pray for them right now.

I will pray for you.

Graham · « **Reply #6 on:** October 05, 2012, 09:37:23 PM »

Vince, your post makes me glad. Spiritually speaking you are swimming in gold like scrooge mcduck. You're like a spiritual millionaire, and you're not yet 20. So let's not hear another word about despair.

Don't go around trying to convert anyone at this point. In your present condition you would likely be ineffectual. Simply feed as would a newborn on the traditions of the Faith and build up your strength.

Confidence will improve with prayer and with time. At 25 I am immeasurably more socially confident that I was at 18.

The people at your chapel will eventually open up, be hopeful and have patience. Some are mistrustful for good reasons. I too had to spend a few months talking with solitary old folks after mass. It is trying but do not feel resentful, because it is an opportunity for charity. Bring the old folks little gifts of devotional items like candles and medallions. But your post has made me conscious that there are some 'newbs' at my chapel I should talk to.

When all's said and done you're immensely gifted to have seen through so much vanity and come to tradition at your age.

jlamos · « **Reply #7 on:** October 05, 2012, 10:56:55 PM »

Welcome, Vince.

Sede Catholic · « **Reply #8 on:** October 05, 2012, 11:17:10 PM »

Dear Vince,
Firstly, welcome to CathInfo.
Secondly, maintain a very good prayer life.
Thirdly, suffering that is patiently borne gains great spiritual benefits.
Fourthly, you did the right thing to get out of school. Try to avoid going to college.
School and college are both evil places that could cause you to lose your soul.
Fifthly, keep posting on CathInfo. Here, you WILL get advice and support.

God Bless you, Vince.

Yours,
Sede Catholic.

jen51 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 05, 2012, 11:45:17 PM »

Hey, Vince. :)

It's wonderful to hear that you've found tradition. I think you've recieved some pretty solid advice from others, and I second what they have to say... especially about your prayer life. Say your prayers. Especially the Rosary. I understand how you automatically think about the souls of those in your family. That was one of the first things that I wanted to focus on as well when I converted. Take your concern for them to Our Lady in your Rosary intentions. Even if you were rock solid in the faith, praying the Rosary for them would still be the most efficacious, IMO.

Graham is right. Please do not despair. Take heart, Vince. Though God is mighty in his justice, he is so full of tender mercy as well. He sees your struggle, he knows your current difficulties, and he is so generous in the graces he offers us according to our current state of life. Be diligent in prayer, and frequent the sacraments. Be faithful to him and you'll be fine.

"Ask, and it shall be given to you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you. For every one that asketh, recieveth: and he that seeketh, findeth: and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."
~St. Matthew 7:7-8

God bless you!

poche · « **Reply #10 on:** October 06, 2012, 04:23:26 AM »

Telesphorus · « **Reply #11 on:** October 06, 2012, 04:27:47 AM »

Quote from: poche

And when ye pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, that love to stand and pray in the ѕуηαgσgυєs and corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men: Amen I say to you, they have received their reward.

Says the one who says Jєωs the Old Covenant is not revoked, and then asks the question hypothetically, like a modernist, what it means for Jєωs to be saved by Christ?

Daegus · « **Reply #12 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:26:39 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: poche

And when ye pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, that love to stand and pray in the ѕуηαgσgυєs and corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men: Amen I say to you, they have received their reward.

Says the one who says Jєωs the Old Covenant is not revoked, and then asks the question hypothetically, like a modernist, what it means for Jєωs to be saved by Christ?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves and transform this thread into something it's not.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #13 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:29:08 PM »

Quote from: Daegus

Let's not get ahead of ourselves and transform this thread into something it's not.

Spamming the board with prayer icons is not necessary.

Read the man's posts, you'll see his agenda here, that the prayer icons are meant to distract us from.

Daegus · « **Reply #14 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:32:42 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Daegus
Let's not get ahead of ourselves and transform this thread into something it's not.

Spamming the board with prayer icons is not necessary.

Read the man's posts, you'll see his agenda here, that the prayer icons are meant to distract us from.

I've considerably cut down on my exposure to this forum to focus on myself, so naturally I wouldn't be aware of any new person's agenda here.

While I'm sure he/she may or may not have some sort of hidden agenda, I know that things can go very wrong if you address them like that in this particular thread. Turning a help thread into an exposing thread is very much counterproductive.