Hey, I'd just like to ask for some prayers for my current struggle. I don't really know how to put this as it is alittle complicated; or perhaps I make it seem that way, but this is the gist of it: I've been living a pretty bad life as many 18 year olds in this day and age do, but by the grace of God I've found the True Catholic Faith and have found an SSPX chapel 20 minutes away from me. I've found and accepted the traditional Catholic Faith as the truth, but now there is the actual intrapersonal struggle to conform to that truth with my whole heart and soul and that just isn't happening for me. I even made a general confession about a month ago and finally started going to mass but i easily fall into despair because of lack of spiritual support from anyone. I feel like I am the one that is going to have to teach my family if not by words, at least by example, about the Catholic Faith. However I don't have anyone in my family or any friends that have the faith and whom I can rely on for support. I feel alone.
So I have some seemingly impossible emotional difficulties to overcome involving self-esteem and social-anxiety and a really bad family life which I would say is a big source of reppressed anger and frustration which serves to deter my progression in the faith. As well as a weak will and a lack of self-discipline and fortitude. I still have 10 highschool credits to complete because I basically wasted a year, my grade 12 year. I left my highschool about a year ago because of the personal problems I've just mentioned. But I must say that what also really pushed me to leave is the fact that most traditional Catholics, according to my understanding, do homeschooling anyways and so I thought that leaving school and doing it from home would allow me the time to really embrace the Faith more without the evil destractions of highschool life.
So any prayers are VERY MUCH appreciated, maybe some advice too
Thank you so much