A fascinating article about Introverts. Read on!


10 Myths About Introverts

In late-2008, I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. It felt like someone had written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only had it explained many of my eccentricities, it helped me to redefine my entire life in a new and productive context.

Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! Why did it take you so long to realize you’re an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that.

A section of Laney’s book (page 71 through page 75) maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place.

Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)

So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience):

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

“You cannot escape us, and to change us would lead to your demise.” <-- I made that up. I'm a screenwriter.

It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become "normal." Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.

Let me know your thoughts.

-Carl.

I am an extrovert and an introvert.

Something that strikes me about the history of the Church, is that Catholics became much more extrovert over time, and the introverts were treated like pariahs.

In the book I'm translating for CMRI, there's a section where the priest laments children who don't participate in any games or social activities with other children due to shyness.  But centuries before that, saints were praising the courage to be alone and live for God alone.  St. Catherine of Siena did not have tons of friends as a child, she lived in her own world with God.  Even as adults, saints have always chided the need to be popular and have friends.

Something changed beginning in the 19th century.  You began to get a kind of "Boy Scout" aspect creeping in -- or more specifically, Boys' Town.  This idea that you're healthy if you play football and horse around and you're a morbid freak if you don't.  There is way too much Boys' Town stuff going around these days.  Mind you, it's very good for kids WHO ARE SOCIAL.  Their church should offer them a way to release their energy harmlessly.  But others who are more quiet should not be treated as freaks because they are more reflective and internal.

I think this is the difference between secular priests and monks.  Only one secular priest has ever been canonized, St. John Vianney, who I can scarcely imagine playing football.  Surely there is some significance to that!  Too much has been dictated by secular priests in the last two centuries, and not enough by monks, who in my opinion have a far higher spirituality, generally speaking.  Part of me is repulsed by this kind of Americanized Catholicism, though some of it is good, because Catholics should be social enough, at the very least, that we should not be overly plagued with human respect and be timid around others.

St. John Bosco has this Boys' Town image, but if you read his stuff, you can see that it isn't accurate at all.  I bet he understood what I have just mentioned, that some kids need to let off steam and horse around, and to have an outlet for that, while others are different.  But it seems a lot of priests think like Americans and that you're a cretin if you aren't like everyone else and don't want to play football.  That is wrong.

Catholics who are trusting of others (other Catholics included) learn the hard way.

I don't trust most Catholics, most Catholic priests, etc.  I think one has more justification in trusting non-Catholics in certain circuмstances.

Some people who are quiet, act introverted, and get called shy are actually full of pride and can't handle having attention paid to them lest people detect any faults and criticize them.

This is something I have come across in spiritual reading as well as in observation.

Excuse me, but no saints among the secular clergy? I beg to differ.

Take a look at this book, for example:

http://books.google.de/books?id=1sZ2u5F0nFIC&printsec=frontcover&hl=de&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Thanks - to Father Mc Nabb, and to you. Some of those saints I had presently forgotten about but many I had never heard of.

Most of those fit me to a 'T'. One thing I would add is that I grow weary of having company around the house for a very long time. I guess it's part of the need to recharge, which is something I need to do frequently.