Author Topic: "marriage prep" pre vatican II (Read 28452 times)

Telesphorus · « **Reply #15 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:57:38 PM »

Tolstoy, though he was a very bad heretic, was brilliant in his depiction of courtship.

The father of Prince Bolkonsky knew the trick to prevent his marriage to the lesser born Natasha Rostova. Make them wait a year!

Marriage serves the ends of controlling the passages.

That is important, not only for men, but for women as well. Women do need to be restrained with the leverage of the male (that's why God made men bigger and more intelligent, and why a natural society is under male control), or they will allow their passions to go out of control and wreck society, that is what is happening now.

What does a long engagement do but inflame the passions while frustrating them? Excessively long engagements that involve frequent close intimacy between the betrothed are morally unacceptable.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #16 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:58:23 PM »

Quote from: parentsfortruth

Quote from: Telesphorus
Betrothals are not about "wait and see" to see if a person is someone they really wish to marry. Betrothals are binding commitments that can be an impediment to marrying someone else. Betrothals can be broken off - sometimes it becomes apparent a marriage must be broken off. But such things if they are not known within a couple months will likely not be known.

For that reason, a man should never let a woman pressure him into a promise of engagement unless he truly wishes to marry a woman.

[SOME] Women do play games. They will try to force a man's hand into making a promise. The marriage is planned - and then - near the end - she breaks off the engagement.

This is not unheard of. A note to all young men - this society gives you no advantages for committing yourself. [MOST] Women today often do not respect men who are willing to commit themselves and their hearts.

It must be emphasized how extremely important it is to choose wisely and not allow yourself to be pressured or hurried. Only choose a woman who is truly committed to a Christian life - otherwise, you're in for a world of pain. And don't expect the traditional clergy to be on your side. [MANY] Men today are suckers (and sometimes priests are really bad in this respect) for feminine wiles- more than ever before.

I hope you don't get upset with me because I qualified your statements, Tele. I really do agree with you in a lot of ways, but you have to qualify this somehow, instead of lumping us all (even the GOOD ones) in with the rest of the "diseased herd," okay?

I'm not. Don't worry.

s2srea · « **Reply #17 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:01:16 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

It's good to develop a LOT of virtue to be able to resist carnal urges. After all, as a married man you're going to have to resist your urges *plenty* of times, including when you go to the store by yourself. Don't think that every woman you meet is going to be old and/or ugly and/or disgusting. There are pretty, feminine women in long skirts, too, who act like women. You don't see as many of them, but the fact that I've seen some even though I work from home and don't go anywhere except on Sunday -- I'd say men have to be prepared. They have to learn to be distant (as in, keep a professional distance) yet polite with women, etc. The better they get at controlling their fascinations/urges/desires, the better for them.

And let's not forget inconveniences due to childbearing, etc.

The six month wait is a test for men. It builds strength that will prove your true love for your spouse-to-be, and carry your marriage for years.

This is such a truth Matt. Thanks for posting it. Just because one is married, doesn't mean that self-control is handled for you. Quite the opposite. If anything the Devil attacks the person who is married even more (or at least in a different way). Its odd, but once committed to someone (either partially through engagement, or fully through the bond of marriage), you must learn to see women differently. There's no point in getting married, if while engaged you continue to 'hit' on women. To flirt with those pretty ladies and girls you know. These are things which may be acceptable for the bachelor, but for the married (and soon to be) it is dangerous.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #18 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:01:51 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Matthew
I know Telesphorus scoffs at the concept of maturity, claiming it's a euphemism for sɛҳuąƖ experience

I would say, it's also a euphemism for a good income if you're a man, and a euphemism for being desperate to marry before it's too late if you're a woman.

"Quiet desperation" for men (being an office drone or something like that. And simply "desperation" for women. That's modern "maturity."

These adult people laughing at sitcoms are not "mature" people. "Maturity" has a very specific meaning that should be adhered to. The modern word "maturity" typically means "experience" or "worldly wisdom" but usually it is applied to people who have "settled down."

And what does being "settled down mean"

For men it means having a good job, not drinking and partying.

And for women, it means starting to lose their looks, hearing their ticking clock.

curiouscatholic23 · « **Reply #19 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:02:05 PM »

Matthew- What do you think about the World War 2 catholic GI's who fell in love with european women and married them within a couple weeks of meeting them, and them brought them back to the US? This actually happened quite a bit.