Author Topic: "marriage prep" pre vatican II (Read 28449 times)

curiouscatholic23 · « **Reply #10 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:45:23 PM »

For example, lets say I wake up tomorrow. I go outside and take a walk in the park. I happen to meet a very pretty, very catholic, young woman who I think would make a good mother. There is interest chemistry. We exchange numbers. I call her every night. I go over to her house and meet her family....etc..etc. We go to mass together.......Within 2-3 weeks we decide to get married. I have a good job that can support a family. There is a lot of sɛҳuąƖ desire between us now and it is hard to avoid fornication. Now I go to the SSPX/SSPV/CMRI priest and he tells us we gotta wait 6 months, even though we have been properly catechised are devoted to the faith????? Whats up with that???? Makes no sense to me.

Matthew · « **Reply #11 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:48:15 PM »

How long should be spent courting and/or during the engagement period? I think there's a big difference if you're 18 or 30.

The older you are, the better you know yourself and others, and you're more mature.

I know Telesphorus scoffs at the concept of maturity, claiming it's a euphemism for sɛҳuąƖ experience, but I completely disagree. Maturity DOES exist. Most 18 year olds don't have it, but the older one gets the more of it he/she has.

It's the reason we have respect for old people. Their long life and EXPERIENCE makes them more mature. Experiences make one more mature. Not sɛҳuąƖ experiences, Tele, but experiences in general.

I don't care what the world says ("You need to get some experience. Sleep around a bit, try out different things, find out what you like. And certainly take the car for a test drive before you buy it!"). They're a bunch of idiots. I'm talking about the truth here.

The older the adult, the less likely they are to play games. They cut right to the chase -- look at the things that matter, etc. and they have advantages of their own.

Young people are more flexible, older people are more mature. So each group has a greater shot at a successful marriage, but for different reasons.

Matthew

Telesphorus · « **Reply #12 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:51:31 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

I know Telesphorus scoffs at the concept of maturity, claiming it's a euphemism for sɛҳuąƖ experience

I would say, it's also a euphemism for a good income if you're a man, and a euphemism for being desperate to marry before it's too late if you're a woman.

Matthew · « **Reply #13 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:54:53 PM »

Quote from: curiouscatholic23

For example, lets say I wake up tomorrow. I go outside and take a walk in the park. I happen to meet a very pretty, very catholic, young woman who I think would make a good mother. There is interest chemistry. We exchange numbers. I call her every night. I go over to her house and meet her family....etc..etc. We go to mass together.......Within 2-3 weeks we decide to get married. I have a good job that can support a family. There is a lot of sɛҳuąƖ desire between us now and it is hard to avoid fornication. Now I go to the SSPX/SSPV/CMRI priest and he tells us we gotta wait 6 months, even though we have been properly catechised are devoted to the faith????? Whats up with that???? Makes no sense to me.

Spoken like a true single person.

I'm not saying six months needs to be a hard and fast rule -- I think it depends on how long you were courting (a.k.a. dating -- but "dating" usually implies impurity these days. Anyhow...)

It takes a while to plan a wedding, for those who haven't done so. Six months is plenty reasonable. Men who complain about the six-month wait are probably the ones that have marriage problems early in the marriage, when they discover that marriage is a "school of chastity" (to quote Archbishop Lefebvre).

Gasping into marriage like a baseball player sliding into home base is not the best.

It's good to develop a LOT of virtue to be able to resist carnal urges. After all, as a married man you're going to have to resist your urges *plenty* of times, including when you go to the store by yourself. Don't think that every woman you meet is going to be old and/or ugly and/or disgusting. There are pretty, feminine women in long skirts, too, who act like women. You don't see as many of them, but the fact that I've seen some even though I work from home and don't go anywhere except on Sunday -- I'd say men have to be prepared. They have to learn to be distant (as in, keep a professional distance) yet polite with women, etc. The better they get at controlling their fascinations/urges/desires, the better for them.

And let's not forget inconveniences due to childbearing, etc.

The six month wait is a test for men. It builds strength that will prove your true love for your spouse-to-be, and carry your marriage for years.

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #14 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:56:09 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Betrothals are not about "wait and see" to see if a person is someone they really wish to marry. Betrothals are binding commitments that can be an impediment to marrying someone else. Betrothals can be broken off - sometimes it becomes apparent a marriage must be broken off. But such things if they are not known within a couple months will likely not be known.

For that reason, a man should never let a woman pressure him into a promise of engagement unless he truly wishes to marry a woman.

[SOME] Women do play games. They will try to force a man's hand into making a promise. The marriage is planned - and then - near the end - she breaks off the engagement.

This is not unheard of. A note to all young men - this society gives you no advantages for committing yourself. [MOST] Women today often do not respect men who are willing to commit themselves and their hearts.

It must be emphasized how extremely important it is to choose wisely and not allow yourself to be pressured or hurried. Only choose a woman who is truly committed to a Christian life - otherwise, you're in for a world of pain. And don't expect the traditional clergy to be on your side. [MANY] Men today are suckers (and sometimes priests are really bad in this respect) for feminine wiles- more than ever before.

I hope you don't get upset with me because I qualified your statements, Tele. I really do agree with you in a lot of ways, but you have to qualify this somehow, instead of lumping us all (even the GOOD ones) in with the rest of the "diseased herd," okay?