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Quote from: curiouscatholic23

One thing I have never really understood with traditional catholic organizations like the SSPX and the CMRI is how come they require couples to wait 6 months before getting married?

Are you serious?

To me, that's crazy. Sorry, but I heard in a reputable Catholic book back when I read it (can't remember WHICH one now) but an engagement longer than 3 months was considered excessive, before Vatican II.

Also, after a few months, you should KNOW if that's the person you're going to marry or not. (I think that book discussed dating too... now that I think about it.) Exclusive dating shouldn't go on longer than 3 months, either. That's sufficient time to get to know someone and decide, so as not to "string them along." I'll try to locate it, but that's what I recall.

The priest at my Church is former SSPX, and he saw the competence in both of us, and we told him when we were thinking of getting married and he said that was fine. I don't remember any so-called "waiting period," nor have I heard that people were told to wait here, either. BUT, it is absolutely understood by every couple here that is married, what is expected of each person that is to be married, so as to leave no doubt.

You really think 3 months is enough time to really get to know someone? There are people who I've talked to almost every day for YEARS and we don't know much about each other. :furtive: :furtive: :furtive:

Quote from: parentsfortruth

Quote from: curiouscatholic23

One thing I have never really understood with traditional catholic organizations like the SSPX and the CMRI is how come they require couples to wait 6 months before getting married?

Are you serious?

To me, that's crazy. Sorry, but I heard in a reputable Catholic book back when I read it (can't remember WHICH one now) but an engagement longer than 3 months was considered excessive, before Vatican II.

Also, after a few months, you should KNOW if that's the person you're going to marry or not. (I think that book discussed dating too... now that I think about it.) Exclusive dating shouldn't go on longer than 3 months, either. That's sufficient time to get to know someone and decide, so as not to "string them along." I'll try to locate it, but that's what I recall.

The priest at my Church is former SSPX, and he saw the competence in both of us, and we told him when we were thinking of getting married and he said that was fine. I don't remember any so-called "waiting period," nor have I heard that people were told to wait here, either. BUT, it is absolutely understood by every couple here that is married, what is expected of each person that is to be married, so as to leave no doubt.

You really think 3 months is enough time to really get to know someone? There are people who I've talked to almost every day for YEARS and we don't know much about each other. :furtive: :furtive: :furtive:

I didn't say "know each other," I said engaged. If you know you're getting married, you shouldn't protract the engagement, is what I mean. If you ask someone to marry them, GET MARRIED SOON, don't say, "Meh, I'm giving you this promise I will marry you, BUT I'll give it sufficient TIME (6 months!) to make sure that if I end up not liking you, I can ditch you."  *You won't be able to pull a stunt like this when you get MARRIED, so why do it beforehand?*

You should know before you promise to marry, whether you're going to stay with that person or not. Making engaged couples wait 6 months (on top of however long they were dating) is EXCESSIVE to me. Why? Go read Tele's post. He's right on the mark!

Also, I said "exclusively dating." If you're casually dating someone (including OTHERS while you're dating that person) that's different. However, if you're EXCLUSIVELY dating someone, (talking on the phone, going out, et cetera) excluding anyone else from your interests (in other words, courting) then yeah, 3 months is sufficient. Courting would mean, talking EVERY DAY (ya know, because most people who are courting/in love do that) going out, if possible, spending lots of time together, et cetera, with ONE PERSON. That's not the same thing as casual dating/seeing multiple people.

Betrothals are not about "wait and see" to see if a person is someone they really wish to marry.  Betrothals are binding commitments that can be an impediment to marrying someone else.  Betrothals can be broken off - sometimes it becomes apparent a marriage must be broken off.  But such things if they are not known within a couple months will likely not be known.

For that reason, a man should never let a woman pressure him into a promise of engagement unless he truly wishes to marry a woman.  

Women do play games.  They will try to force a man's hand into making a promise.  The marriage is planned - and then - near the end - she breaks off the engagement.    

This is not unheard of.  A not to all young men - this society gives you no advantages for committing yourself.  Women today often do not respect men who are willing to commit themselves and their hearts.

It must be emphasized how extremely important it is to choose wisely and not allow yourself to be pressured or hurried.  Only choose a woman who is truly committed to a Christian life - otherwise, you're in for a world of pain.  And don't expect the traditional clergy to be on your side.  Men today are suckers (and sometimes priests are really bad in this respect) for feminine wiles- more than ever before.